caughtinanetwork | [ VIDEO ]

[ Well, if you didn't want to see a close-up of Prince Gumball's ~~pink~~ orchid face for the opening of this video then today is not your lucky day. After exploring the extent of his little ~~pink~~ amaranth iStarfish, figuring out its purpose, trying to get it to play techno music and dying in the first level of a game he found on it, he decided to use it to communicate.

However, he pressed record too quickly and started the video prematurely. After a moment, he pulled it away so the network can be greeted with a more normal shot.

Generally, when Gumball finds himself kidnapped or in another dimension or possessed, Fionna is efficient and heroic enough to save him within a reasonable timeframe. This time, it's been a while so he decides to take matters into his own hands to see what the hold-up is.

He is also feeling a little extra impatient given how...wet the current location is and how his ~~pink~~ salmon rainboots are nowhere in sight. ]

Greetings, citizens of Vatheon! My name is Prince Gumball of the Candy Kingdom. Though my stay thus far has been nice-- [ and he thinks that's being kind ]-- I worry about my subjects back home and their low tolerance for stress. If you could be so kind as to direct me to your nearest ship port or best place to create a wormhole back home, I would be delightfully grateful. Ideally, I'd like to return on the morrow but if one is not available, my previous requests are sufficient.

[ He holds up a wet and sandy towel between his pinched fingers. ]

Also, is there a towel butler around? I'd like to receive a new towel at your soonest convenience, I dropped mine.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It wasn't a bad breakup. I was just too much for him to handle, so he bailed.

I'm Equius.

Sure, whatever dude. I'm not going to pretend to know how that shit works.

Nice to meet you, Equius.

A pleasure. Welcome to Vatheon.

[Going out of his way now to be a perfect gentletroll and prove that he's better than Karkat.]

[Finally someone who might actually be able to help him.}

Thanks. Have you been here long? My friends and I were kind of in the middle of something really important and we really need to get back. Like. Now.

Yes, I've been here for quite some time. Unfortunately, we have no control over when, or if, we get sent back. However, when you are sent back, it is as if no time at all has passed in your timeline, and you can pick up right where you left off.

In other words, your friends and what you were doing will be waiting for you, and you won't miss anything.

[Percy has to let that sink in for a moment]

Wait...hold up. You're saying that when I go back, I'll be in the same place I was, same time, and my deadline won't have passed yet?

[If this is true, it is very good news.]

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I have personal experience in this, actually.

[Percy breathes an enormous sigh of relief.]

Oh, thank the gods. We can still complete our quest in time. You have no idea how much I was freaking out about it.

A lot of people are upset about that when they first arrive. Glad I was able to set your mind at ease.

[See, Karkat? See what a helpful troll can do?]

Wow. Yeah. That is a huge relief.

[He pauses for a moment, thinking. Maybe this place really wasn't so bad after all. A real vacation from monsters and quests.]

I guess I'm not in a real hurry to get back now. I was sort of falling to near-certain doom right before I landed here.

Ah. Well, that's what you'll return to, when and if you get taken away from here.

[Percy sighs again, this one full of sorrow and resignation.]

Great. I guess I sort of knew I wasn't off the hook for that one. We have to finish our quest.

Yes.

[Now Equius sounds a little distant himself.]

There's always something to finish.

[Time to change the subject?]

So how long have you been here? And I've met three of you trolls now - how many of you are there here?

Edited 2013-05-07 16:58 (UTC)

You lying sack of pus. You weren't too much for me to handle; you were boring, and I got sick and tired of a kismesis who couldn't bother to provide a worthwhile rivalry or even motivate me to care enough to do the same. And why the hell do you feel the need to tell him that?

I told him that because it's true. Certain aspects of our kismesitude were too intimidating for you, so I had to cut you loose. You can lie all you want and say I was boring, but we both know the truth.

[Whatever, oh whatever, could Equius be alluding to?]

But it's not the truth! I wasn't intimidated, and more importantly, I broke up with you. You didn't cut me loose from anything but your cloying stench, and you whined about the whole thing.

Pretty sure you've got that backwards. You're the one so caught up in your masturbatory self-cest fantasies of hating yourself that an actual flesh and blood kismesis was too much for you to deal with.

Besides, RoboEquius got tired of you asking me to kiss him all the time.

THAT WAS A STUPID IDEA PAST ME HAD AND I GAVE UP ON IT BEFORE WE WERE EVEN A THING, YOU THICK PUDDLE OF INFECTED SECRETIONS.

And you're the one who made that dumb robot without me ever saying anything, so don't pin it on me!

And yet you never said no to watching me make out with him, either.

You're the one who went through with it! Of your own volition!

Maybe I'm an excellent kisser.

[Karkat's eyebrows draw together.]

What does that even have to do with the argument?

--Actually, no. You know what, I don't care. This has jacknifed off the conversational diving board into a whole pool of idiocy, and I'm getting out.

[Click!]

[Yeah, no. Calling Karkat back to make his point.]

I meant that I'd rather kiss my robot than you.

[Because RoboEquius is exactly like him, get it?]

[Click!]

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