caughtinanetwork | [ VIDEO ]

[ Well, if you didn't want to see a close-up of Prince Gumball's ~~pink~~ orchid face for the opening of this video then today is not your lucky day. After exploring the extent of his little ~~pink~~ amaranth iStarfish, figuring out its purpose, trying to get it to play techno music and dying in the first level of a game he found on it, he decided to use it to communicate.

However, he pressed record too quickly and started the video prematurely. After a moment, he pulled it away so the network can be greeted with a more normal shot.

Generally, when Gumball finds himself kidnapped or in another dimension or possessed, Fionna is efficient and heroic enough to save him within a reasonable timeframe. This time, it's been a while so he decides to take matters into his own hands to see what the hold-up is.

He is also feeling a little extra impatient given how...wet the current location is and how his ~~pink~~ salmon rainboots are nowhere in sight. ]

Greetings, citizens of Vatheon! My name is Prince Gumball of the Candy Kingdom. Though my stay thus far has been nice-- [ and he thinks that's being kind ]-- I worry about my subjects back home and their low tolerance for stress. If you could be so kind as to direct me to your nearest ship port or best place to create a wormhole back home, I would be delightfully grateful. Ideally, I'd like to return on the morrow but if one is not available, my previous requests are sufficient.

[ He holds up a wet and sandy towel between his pinched fingers. ]

Also, is there a towel butler around? I'd like to receive a new towel at your soonest convenience, I dropped mine.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

More than you do by your own existence?

[He'll flip tables at his own discretion, thanks, which means he ignores the comment.]

[Likewise, Equius will ruin towels at his own discretion.]

I'm not the one screeching and ranting at innocent newcomers like an enraged cholerabear and questioning the very nature of their existence.

[So there.]

So I'm the only one between us who has the sense to question the logic of people made from literal candy. Good to know I'm still carrying the sole functional brain in this group.

Apparently you've already forgotten about alternate universes and worlds completely unlike our own, such as the ones populated by humans. How sad that early onset dementia has already set in.

But none of those places had candy people or anything approaching it, which is the whole point I was trying to make.

Astounding how you've managed to map every world and every life form in all existence, across all the parallel space realities, and never once considered that one might have individuals on it made of candy.

[In all fairness, Equius never really considered this either, but whatever.]

Oh, and you expected this. You're the great all-seeing genius of this time, and I was a fool not to realize it. Tell me, what other bizarre creatures can we expect? What will they be made out of next time? It shouldn't be that hard if this didn't surprise you.

You are so narrowminded.

Oh, I don't know... perhaps people made of smoke will be next. It's difficult to say. The point is, your shock and screeching are entirely unnecessary.

[It's a while before Karkat gets back to answer this. Gamzee, less the douche in this universe than his future counterpart, successfully did the moirail thing in getting him to go take a walk to cool his head. The background change is readily visible in his reply.]

You know what? After candy people, smoke people wouldn't even be that weird. My shock was completely merited in the moment, and it's done, so kindly shut your trap and move on before you make a bigger deal out of it than I did.

[That is a disappointingly mature reaction. Equius flounders for a moment, unsure of how to respond; he wants to keep fighting, but Karkat isn't cooperating, and that's not how they operate anymore anyway.]

Just see that it doesn't happen again. I command it.

[Click! Lame, lame, lame...]

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[VIDEO] /gets ready to app the Genie from Aladdin just so Equius can gloat

[VIDEO] or the smoke monster from LOST

[VIDEO] Hexxus from Fern Gully ooooh that's actually a good idea I should consider it