caughtinanetwork | [ VIDEO ]

[ Well, if you didn't want to see a close-up of Prince Gumball's ~~pink~~ orchid face for the opening of this video then today is not your lucky day. After exploring the extent of his little ~~pink~~ amaranth iStarfish, figuring out its purpose, trying to get it to play techno music and dying in the first level of a game he found on it, he decided to use it to communicate.

However, he pressed record too quickly and started the video prematurely. After a moment, he pulled it away so the network can be greeted with a more normal shot.

Generally, when Gumball finds himself kidnapped or in another dimension or possessed, Fionna is efficient and heroic enough to save him within a reasonable timeframe. This time, it's been a while so he decides to take matters into his own hands to see what the hold-up is.

He is also feeling a little extra impatient given how...wet the current location is and how his ~~pink~~ salmon rainboots are nowhere in sight. ]

Greetings, citizens of Vatheon! My name is Prince Gumball of the Candy Kingdom. Though my stay thus far has been nice-- [ and he thinks that's being kind ]-- I worry about my subjects back home and their low tolerance for stress. If you could be so kind as to direct me to your nearest ship port or best place to create a wormhole back home, I would be delightfully grateful. Ideally, I'd like to return on the morrow but if one is not available, my previous requests are sufficient.

[ He holds up a wet and sandy towel between his pinched fingers. ]

Also, is there a towel butler around? I'd like to receive a new towel at your soonest convenience, I dropped mine.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It is kind of the colloquial way to say it. Perhaps I should speak more formally from now on to avoid frustrating you with words you don't approve of.

[ He needs to take the troll version of Midol. Mitrol. ]

Surely you of all people know you can't control the life you create. They may just approach you on their own.

[There goes the eye twitchy thing again.]

Making a whole universe is different than making a handful of sugar creatures, and if you can't grasp that fact I will formally give up on attempting intelligent conversation with you forever.

[ He knows it's different but it's still relatively the same thing. Karkat just thinks he's a special snowflake just because he created the universe. ]

Attempting formal conversation? I happen to be an expert on intelligent conversation and haven't seen you do that once, Karkat the Troll.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!

But what? Just because I get pissed off about a few things suddenly means intelligent conversation is beyond me? Or is it because I can come out any say it bluntly that you have your head stuffed up your own chewy hindquarters? Try yanking it out, Gumwad, because ire neither negates nor invalidates what I'm saying here, and I'm not going to sugarco--

Motherfucker.

I'm not going to make it all nice and gentle to make the impact on your fragile, saccharine ears easier to bear.

[ HE IS NOT USED TO BEING TALKED TO LIKE THIS!

But he tries not to show his pain, disdain, fear, loathing, Las Vegas and unhappiness with the way he is so disrespectfully being treated FOR NO REASON.

His first instinct is to just gasp but in the past, he's been known to get caught up in this and just gasp for about a minute straight. ]

You don't have to be nice and gentle, just take it a step down from name calling, talks of creampuff genocide, naughty language and hurtful insults.

And my hindquarters are not chewy, thank you very much. [ He works out more than THAT. ]

That's the same damn thing!

This is how I talk to absolutely everyone, no exceptions, least of all to the current douchebag riling my bile sack. So I will use language as shitsmearing nookstained bulgewhiffing fucking filthy as I damn well please, will insult you to my bloodpusher's content until you stop earning them, and keep threatening to murder your creampuffs until you agree, like I asked you to, to not make any named after me!

And you're made of gum. What else would they be?

[ Oh. ]

Is that what this is all about?

Very well. I will not name a creampuff after you.

Y-

You--

How--

HOW DID YOU NOT GET THAT UNTIL NOW?!

[ AND THE VOLUME GETS CRANKED DOWN A BIT.

Not my gumdrop eardrums... ]

Maybe I, along with most people in the world, respond better to sugar than to vinegar. Did you ever think of that?

[Karkat groans.]

Do not even use sugar idioms with me. And I just said, I talk that way to everyone, even the people I care about most. They deal with it! And I don't expect them to talk all clean and nice to me either.

[ There is a pause. He messed up the saying anyway and just realized it. But he's not about to retcon his error publicly because he's a prince.

He looks into the feed. ]

Der spinnt...

It definitely makes things interesting and perplexing.

[ In a good way? Not sure. But he won't say that out loud. ]

[Another irritated noise rumbles in his throat.]

Interesting I'll grant, but it's not supposed to be perplexing.

But fine, whatever. You won't name a creampuff after me, I won't unleash the hypothetical Vast Stomp. Is there anything else stupid we have to clear up or that the merciful end of it for today?

I'm good for now, Karkat.

Let the second Truce Ceremony commence!

There's no ceremony; it's just a verbal agreement we reached. But if that's it, I'm not going to tempt fate a third time today.

Hopefully the next time we talk it won't involve me wanting to tear my hair out.

[Click.]

[ People should say goodbye when they hang up on you. ]

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