[Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

[justicereigns]

[Here's a rare face of the almost hermit of a marine. He's smoking as much as ever, two cigars at a time, and he appears to be in a kitchen making... ice cream?]

So I overdid my recipe and I have a ton extra ingredients. And I don't want to waste it, so does anyone want some ice cream? If you have the recipe I'll make a different flavor. [If you think this is strange, it's called tsundere. Also it's about to get stranger.]

[Because Sanji chooses that exact moment to wander into the kitchen, also smoking, though he's only got one cigarette dangling at the edge of his mouth. He's absently scratching the back of his head and sounds almost bored when he speaks.]

Oi, shitty cigar man, think I'm gonna make sushi for lunch, you want anythi—

[He stops suddenly, seeing the mess in Smoker's HIS kitchen (and if there's not really a mess, well, there's shit out and some kinda food being made and it's not by Sanji's hands, ergo...mess), and his entire demeanor changes in 0.2 seconds.]

The hell are you doing?!

[Smoker looks incredibly annoyed and points to the ice cream supplies.] Cooking. In my kitchen. [A stubborn arm fold. Aw no, shit's about to get real.]

[Sanji just snorts, because your kitchen? Oh Smoker.] Tch, stopped being yours the second I moved in. [He stomps over, eyeing the ingredients.] Ice cream? [Then he spots the SFC, and promptly shoots Smoker an incredulous look.]

Are you recording yourself making ice cream? What, starting some kinda shitty cooking program?

Oi, who the hell said you could move in? [Smoker's distracted with flushing again though, and he shakes his head, mumbling.] No, I just made too much.... Shut up! [And with that he storms out. Defeated by his own tsun.]

[Raises an eyebrow as he watches him go, mostly just kind of amused.] That idiot... [Checks out the ingredients again, and you know, there really is a lot left. And Smoker just left it all out. Sanji's not about to let anything go to waste, and hey, the shitty starfish is still recording, right?

So he gets all up in the thing's camera, grinning like a moron.]

Good afternoon, beautiful ladies of Vatheon~! Seems I've got all the supplies here for ice cream sundaes! [Clasps his hands together up by his face.] Or perhaps you'd all like to come over for a romantic candlelight dinner first?? [SMOLDERING LOOK.] We can have dessert later~

[But that look doesn't last long, because the idea of any women coming over sets Sanji off twirling around, spewing hearts and babbling randomness like "MELLORINE, MEEEELLORINE~!" annnd that's too much for even the SFC to deal with, so the video feed thankfully cuts off!]

Comments

[Video]

[fightforastar]

[This must be the marine Sanji was talking about. Maybe they aren't getting along but it looks like they are sticking together. Sort of.]

Don't you think that was a little much?

[Video]

[justicereigns]

No. He's a pirate. And it's my kitchen. And who are you?

[And what are manners? HE HAS NO MANNERS. He also doesn't realize she's probably scolding Sanji. No one ever sticks up for Smoker. Ever. Ever. Well Hina, but she does it by scolding Smoker.]

[Video]

[fightforastar]

It's Tifa.

[She can handle the lack of manners, especially since he's on the defensive.]

And I meant Sanji. If you're sharing the place, you've got every right to use your own kitchen. It's not like you set it on fire.

[Video]

[justicereigns]

Tifa then.

I'm Smoker.

Tch... Sharing... [Grumbles....] My kitchen... freaking pirates steal everything... [Just ignore him.]

You want some ice cream?

[He can offer. Because a) he made extra and b) Sanji will fawn all over himself to make the offer as soon he snaps out of his tornado mode long enough to realize there's a girl who might actually want something.]

[Video]

[fightforastar]

Nice to meet you.

And sure. You did make it for everyone.

[Video]

[justicereigns]

Yes. I did. I mean, accidentally. But still.

[Grumpy tsun-tsun forever.]

Any favorite flavors?

[Video]

[fightforastar]

Oh, right.

[All right, apparently she's not supposed to see through that.]

I'm a stickler for chocolate, but I'm happy to try other flavors. What did you make?

[Video]

[justicereigns]

[He appreciates her pretense ;;]

Banana, vanilla, sea-salt, I think we have some strawberries around too. But chocolate is easy enough.

[Video]

[fightforastar]

I don't think I've had banana before. It should be pretty good with the fruit they have here.

[Video]

[justicereigns]

You could always try both? They might go well together.

[Video]

[fightforastar]

That's true.

Mm, I guess I should stop by then.

[Video]

[justicereigns]

Okay, I'll get some ready.

And I'm sure that idiot would appreciate it. [And eyeroll. Sanji fancying himself a ladies' man is just the epitome of Smoker's men to him now.]

[Video --> Action]

[fightforastar]

[Have a wry smile to go with your eyeroll because boy, that guy could really learn something about how to react to women...]

I'll see you in a bit then.

[She shuts off the SFC, and before too long, he'll hear a knock on the apartment door.]

[Video] 1/2

[serving_love]

[Sort of, as in Sanji needed a place to sleep and just invited himself over and Smoker let him FOR SOME REASON, but yeah...sort of.]

[But look! A lady! And one he's actually spoken to before!]

Tifa-swaaan~!! [Beams at her, arms held out wide like he's going to hug her...if, you know, she was actually there.] It's so wonderful to see you again, Tifa-san! How have you been?

[Video] 2/2

[serving_love]

[Oh, but she asked him a question. Right. Sanji blinks.]

A little much?

[Glances back over his shoulder at the ice cream ingredients that are still out, and well...maybe he was a little harsh. MAYBE.]

...I didn't say anything that bad, he just stomped off! I only asked him a question!

[Video]

[fightforastar]

I've been just fine.

[She's a little more prepared for the reaction this time, but she can't help but wonder if he really would have tried that in person...]

You insulted him, and told him it wasn't even his kitchen. I know you're not exactly friends, but I don't see anything wrong with making ice cream.

Re: [Video]

[serving_love]

[Don't worry, he would've just stuck with the spinning in circles in person. Which is just SO REASSURING.]

The ice cream's fine, that was just...how I talk—he's a big boy, he can handle it.

[Shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck, and mumbling a bit when he speaks.]

I wasn't actually expecting him to get all huffy about it.

[Video]

[fightforastar]

Maybe you don't know him well enough to talk to him that way.

[Video]

[serving_love]

...

[STUBBORN.]

I know him well enough... I know he'd throw my whole crew in jail if he had the chance!

[We'll ignore that this hasn't happened yet and he's actually let them escape a couple times.]

[Video]

[fightforastar]

If that's how you feel, then why decide to live with him?

[Video]

[serving_love]

I—

[Oh, you're good. Sanji scowls.]

...Well, what the hell can he do to me here? Different circumstances and all. [Pause.] He was the only shitty familiar thing around at the time.

[Quickly lights up a smoke just to give his hands something to do. Honestly, he's not sure WHY he's still here. He probably should've found his own place by now.]

[Video]

[fightforastar]

He doesn't seem so bad to me. You could try being civil.

[Video]

[serving_love]

I'm being civil!

[Only kind of kicking a dude's ass is Sanji being civil when it comes to guys. And he hasn't even done that yet!]

I was gonna make him lunch!

[Video]

[fightforastar]

[Well, the lunch offer was a good start, but...]

And then?

[Video]

[serving_love]

And then...what?

[Honestly at a total loss.]

It's not like I haven't been including him when I make dinner and shit, too...

[Because Sanji would never NOT cook for somebody.]