[Video] In which Smoker tries to cook but Sanji takes over

[justicereigns]

[Here's a rare face of the almost hermit of a marine. He's smoking as much as ever, two cigars at a time, and he appears to be in a kitchen making... ice cream?]

So I overdid my recipe and I have a ton extra ingredients. And I don't want to waste it, so does anyone want some ice cream? If you have the recipe I'll make a different flavor. [If you think this is strange, it's called tsundere. Also it's about to get stranger.]

[Because Sanji chooses that exact moment to wander into the kitchen, also smoking, though he's only got one cigarette dangling at the edge of his mouth. He's absently scratching the back of his head and sounds almost bored when he speaks.]

Oi, shitty cigar man, think I'm gonna make sushi for lunch, you want anythi—

[He stops suddenly, seeing the mess in Smoker's HIS kitchen (and if there's not really a mess, well, there's shit out and some kinda food being made and it's not by Sanji's hands, ergo...mess), and his entire demeanor changes in 0.2 seconds.]

The hell are you doing?!

[Smoker looks incredibly annoyed and points to the ice cream supplies.] Cooking. In my kitchen. [A stubborn arm fold. Aw no, shit's about to get real.]

[Sanji just snorts, because your kitchen? Oh Smoker.] Tch, stopped being yours the second I moved in. [He stomps over, eyeing the ingredients.] Ice cream? [Then he spots the SFC, and promptly shoots Smoker an incredulous look.]

Are you recording yourself making ice cream? What, starting some kinda shitty cooking program?

Oi, who the hell said you could move in? [Smoker's distracted with flushing again though, and he shakes his head, mumbling.] No, I just made too much.... Shut up! [And with that he storms out. Defeated by his own tsun.]

[Raises an eyebrow as he watches him go, mostly just kind of amused.] That idiot... [Checks out the ingredients again, and you know, there really is a lot left. And Smoker just left it all out. Sanji's not about to let anything go to waste, and hey, the shitty starfish is still recording, right?

So he gets all up in the thing's camera, grinning like a moron.]

Good afternoon, beautiful ladies of Vatheon~! Seems I've got all the supplies here for ice cream sundaes! [Clasps his hands together up by his face.] Or perhaps you'd all like to come over for a romantic candlelight dinner first?? [SMOLDERING LOOK.] We can have dessert later~

[But that look doesn't last long, because the idea of any women coming over sets Sanji off twirling around, spewing hearts and babbling randomness like "MELLORINE, MEEEELLORINE~!" annnd that's too much for even the SFC to deal with, so the video feed thankfully cuts off!]

Comments

[action]

[missiles]

[And he's just going to peek his head into the kitchen.]

What the hell are you doin'? It sounds like you're killin' a cat.

[action]

[justicereigns]

[Sitting off in the couch to the side, Smoker cranes his head over the back and makes an "ixnay" gesture.]

Caterwauling you mean. And yeah, the idiot pirate does that. [GRUMPS FOREVER.]

[Um. Also. Yes. So boyfriend, meet pirate trespasser, ero-cook meet boyfriend? Whatever Smoker doesn't do introductions. Also none of this explains why there's a pirate in his kitchen.]

[action]

[missiles]

Killing a cat would sound better than that.

[He sighs and comes over to him, running his fingers through his hair.]

Sorry for intrudin' on your... whatever this is, but I came for ice cream.

[Leaning over the couch, and patting his cheek lightly.]

[action]

[serving_love]

[Instantly puts the breaks on and stops spinning around like a fool because what, this guy is not a lady, why is he here. :|]

I'm cooking, dumbass, what's it look like? [Peers at him suspiciously.] You a friend of Smoker's?

[action]

[missiles]

Something like that.

[Going to come over and steal a bowl of ice cream.]

You make this or did he?

[video]

[lovedbyflowers]

[Now that was amusing to watch! This must be like what those TV shows he's been told about are like!]

What good friends you both are~!

[video]

[justicereigns]

We're not friends.

He's a stray dog I haven't sent to the pound yet. [Although technically Smoker is the loose hound of the marines... Whatever, not the point!]

[video]

[lovedbyflowers]

Oh, but you both seem to be getting along so well~!

[video]

[serving_love]

[Instant irritated noise.]

Definitely not friends. [Jerks a thumb over his shoulder, seemingly in Smoker's direction.] This guy is an idiot.

[video]

[lovedbyflowers]

Yet you are living together? [he chuckles] Ah, you are more than friends then?

[Video]

[fightforastar]

[This must be the marine Sanji was talking about. Maybe they aren't getting along but it looks like they are sticking together. Sort of.]

Don't you think that was a little much?

[Video]

[justicereigns]

No. He's a pirate. And it's my kitchen. And who are you?

[And what are manners? HE HAS NO MANNERS. He also doesn't realize she's probably scolding Sanji. No one ever sticks up for Smoker. Ever. Ever. Well Hina, but she does it by scolding Smoker.]

[Video]

[fightforastar]

It's Tifa.

[She can handle the lack of manners, especially since he's on the defensive.]

And I meant Sanji. If you're sharing the place, you've got every right to use your own kitchen. It's not like you set it on fire.

[Video] 1/2

[serving_love]

[Sort of, as in Sanji needed a place to sleep and just invited himself over and Smoker let him FOR SOME REASON, but yeah...sort of.]

[But look! A lady! And one he's actually spoken to before!]

Tifa-swaaan~!! [Beams at her, arms held out wide like he's going to hug her...if, you know, she was actually there.] It's so wonderful to see you again, Tifa-san! How have you been?

[Video] 2/2

[serving_love]

[Oh, but she asked him a question. Right. Sanji blinks.]

A little much?

[Glances back over his shoulder at the ice cream ingredients that are still out, and well...maybe he was a little harsh. MAYBE.]

...I didn't say anything that bad, he just stomped off! I only asked him a question!

video;

[ofthedragonfire]

[Bloom just couldn't help but chuckle lightly.]

You two bicker like some married couple. You must be good friends.

video; 1/3

[justicereigns]

[Without even understanding the full context, Smoker has decided you are a horrible person, and he shudders at the very concept of this.]

video; 1/3 -- my, you are just getting spammed today!

[serving_love]

[Oh dear. Cue the melodramatics. BLOOM, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING??!]

......M-m-married?! Bloom-san! No, no, I've dedicated my life to making sure women are happy, I could never—married—Bloom-saaaaan...

video; 2/3

[serving_love]

[Annnd then he abruptly does a 180.]

A-anyway, he's a moron, he's always chasing my crew, you know?? He hates us!

video; 3/3

[serving_love]

...By the way, how are you today?

[Yeah, we'll finish this up with his usual schtick.]

You look even more beautiful than the last time we spoke~!

[Audio]

[powerandstatus]

[There's no difficulty in seeing Sanji's similarity to his brother. Still, even Angelo didn't speak such disgusting language. But he's going to drop him in it anyway.]

Well, well. I'm positive my brother will be thrilled to have a little competition for the women.

[Enjoy the news of a rival, Sanji. He, however, finds the whole thing distasteful. Hell, the two of them don't even seem to have manners.]

[Audio]

[serving_love]

[Angelo who looks like Trunks who has the same English voice actor as Sanji? Oh, the similarities~]

Eh? Competition?

[Tch, yeah right, Sanji is the greatest wooer of women you're ever likely to meet! Says...nobody. But himself. Shhhh.]

Please, other shitheads can't even compare to me.

[Audio]

[justicereigns]

[Face palm.]

Competition? Yeah right. You act like this idiot could actually get somewhere with them. [Smoker is... so nice. So nice guys. You don't even know...]

[Nah, I lie. He's a jerk. A tsundere super jerk.]

[ video ]

[beauchevalier]

[Usually Angelo ignores idiotic things like this. He was used to Zelos in the bubble, but this? No, this is beyond being ignored. Who did this blonde guy think he was? He has to make his thoughts known.]

You should work on those dreadful pick up lines of yours, my blonde haired friend. Hearing them from your mouth makes me want to cringe.

[ video ]

[serving_love]

[What?! Who's this asshole cutting into Sanji's fantasies of women draping themselves all over him to thank him for the lovely dinner he created. He turns an instantly annoyed look to the SFC.]

Che, they're not for you to hear anyway! What the hell do I care if you're cringing?!