3 ♐ Text/Action ♐ Hermit-mode, activtate!

[aim_exorable]

[Text]

D --> I apologize to anyone who had to deal with me while I was under the influence of the curse
D --> I was not myself
D --> Normally I am not so
D --> Outgoing

[Translation: "Normally I do not try to get into the metaphorical pants of everyone I interact with. Oh good lord, strike me down now please."]

D --> I do hope you can all forgive me for the foolishness which occurred

[Action at the Highblood Hive]

[Hey, Gamzee, Equius. Guess who didn't come down to make breakfast? Guess who hasn't even come out of his room? Guess who even locked Dural out so that there is now a very aggravated lusus sitting outside of it, her feathers puffed up?]

[Daddy is not feeling well, kids. He knows you can take care of yourselves.]

Comments

[private]

[p2iioniicii2t]

Locatiion: roof of Larmliine Apartment2.

[ And hopefully Darkleer doesn't mind coming up there rather than having him come down. The Helmsman is sitting on the rooftop, his knees drawn up to his chest.

Whoops, accidentally BSODing now. ]

[private]

[aim_exorable]

[With how quick Darkleer can be, he's there in minutes. There shouldn't be a need to take the stairs, considering how high he can jump, but he might crash through the roof in that course of action. So the stairs it is. When he finally arrives, he doesn't waste any time. In a heartbeat, he's besides the Helmsman, pulling him close and pressing a hand to his face.]

I'm here. Status report?

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ There is a faint electric crackle in the air when the Helmsman is pulled towards Darkleer, like he doesn't entirely have complete control of his psionics. After an entire week without them, it isn't particularly surprising. ]

Functhional.

[ His voice is very small, but it's fairly amazing that he's managed to snap out of the blank state his emotional turmoil had knocked him into to begin with. ]

Functhional. Everything ith. Glory to the Empire. To Her Imperiouth Condethenthion.

[aim_exorable]

Yes. [His voice is quiet and careful.] Glory to the Empire and Her Imperious Condescension.

[The crackle of psionics is ignored. The fact that Signless or any of the other hivemates the Helmsman live with is ignored. None of that matters. Darkleer stays focused on the troll in front of him.]

Have there been any recent changes in your routine, Helmsman?

[Gently, he runs his hand across his cheek, cradling his head.]

[p2iioniicii2t]

Reacquired all thionic capabilitieth...

[ He bites the inside of his cheek hard enough that he makes a pained sound. He couldn't explain himself fully, physically incapable of going against her wishes.

There's a hint of yellow tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. He's not sure why he's having such a sudden breakdown, but he can't stop it now that Darkleer was there. The other man had this strange ability to make him open up even when he didn't want to. ]

Nnnnngh need to ask if he can figure it out /flees to plurk

[aim_exorable]

[That cannot be the only change to his routine. It can't. Just reacquiring his psionics would not make the Helmsman cry. The last time he had done this, it had been about his programming beginning to fail as more and more of his independence came back. But if the greeting he gave was any indication, he was regressing...]

[Stewing over the dilemma, Darkleer shifts his hand again, thumb ready to swipe away any tears.]

I'm here, Helmsman. I'm here.

[What would make him completely shut down from him when they've been so open before...?]

I think it needs to stay on the dl a little longer!

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ There's another crackle and the Helmsman flinches this time, perhaps startled by his own powers. Facing this issue makes him feel distinctly unwell, and he's terrified that the blueblood is about to see right through him. It had taken so much of his energy to suppress the emotional turmoil that came with everything changing once more, too much energy given that he broke down under the faintest of pressure.

He's not sure why he's crying. He knows he should be pleased that he is Her Helmsman once again. So why was there that part deep inside of him that is screaming to fight and to be free? ]

I sent a PM so we'll see!

[aim_exorable]

Quiet, now. Quiet.

[Just repetitions of the same meaningless words. But perhaps the routine will bring some sort of reassurance, so Darkleer just focuses on that and that alone. Settling himself further on the ground, he moves his hands to take the Helmsman's.]

Remember the mental exercises we have done with one another? Remember those. Go through them.

I will stay with you.

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ Quiet, right. He could do quiet. He had spent entire sweeps with the only sound to ever come out of him being the hoarse screams torn from his throat when the battleship shifted into a high power state. And he could focus on a mathematical paradox. An infinite surface area enclosing a finite volume. Breathe. Focus.

He doesn't do it entirely consciously, but he curls in even closer as long moments pass.

And it occurs to him... ]

I don't want thith...

[aim_exorable]

[The way the other curls in doesn't bother Darkleer at all. It's almost reassuring, in fact, that he can still do something for another, for this troll, even if it's just... being here.]

[But it still won't be enough, he knows.]

Want what?

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ It was soothing to have someone that understood him, at least somewhat, that was also there to support him. Even if it was to provide the Empire a more functional piece of equipment when it required it, he didn't feel quite so alone. But that only did so much, and none of it changed the fact that he existed to serve. ]

To live.

[ It's a terrible thing to say, and not because life was something precious or how it illustrated the pain he was experiencing.

No, because he had promised her. ]

[aim_exorable]

...I am sorry.

If I could, I would do whatever possible to solve that dilemma. But in this place...

[It wouldn't last. Gently, he leans in to press their foreheads together, and by doing so, accidentally but quite gently knocks their horns together. The action, while familiar and almost comforting, makes him pause.]

hippielovejack!

[withoutasign]

[Signless has wandered up on the roof, looking for Psii. His best bro has been distant lately, even for him, and he worries. He worries a lot about Psii.]

[It's a shock when he sees him on the roof with Darkleer, in a very pale kind of position, but that doesn't bother him in itself. He's confident in what he has with Psii, there's no jealousy here. It's their body language that gets to him, the way they both look so broken and needy and depressed. And by now, Signless cares about Darkleer, whether the blueblood wants him to or not, and he can't stand seeing two trolls he cares about feeling this way.]

[So he does the most logical thing; he runs over and piles into Darkleer's sides, putting his arms around both of them.]

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ That... was utterly unexpected.

But Signless suddenly appearing, wrapping his arms around them both, this is not exactly an unwelcome thing. As self-conscious as he might be, he's hurting far too much to be concerned about his association with Darkleer as his engineer being confirmed. As long as he wasn't trying to stop this, it would be alright, wouldn't it?

The Helmsman makes a soft, almost pained sound as he just lets himself go limp in the awkward embrace.

For a moment, he could be safe here. ]

THIRD BASE, SIGNLESS. *THIRD BASE*.

[aim_exorable]

[This is not the reality he wants right now.]

[Normally, he would be more aware of someone suddenly appearing onto the roof as well, but Darkleer has been quite preoccupied with the Helmsman. For someone to suddenly press against his side and for that someone to be him.]

[Darkleer freezes up. Completely.]

who says he has to stop being on third base? Signless doesn't care

[withoutasign]

[Hey, he's not getting pushed away! Awesome!]

[Signless just burrows closer against both of them, one arm around Psii's shoulders and the other wrapped around the back of Darkleer's neck, and he drops his head down, bumping into both of their's. He takes care, though, to keep his horns away from Darkleer's. Doesn't want to give the wrong impression.]

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ Okay, he might be caught in the depths of his overwhelming despair, but he can tell what that this is bad. Darkleer is tense, immobile, and it's enough to drag him out of his self-loathing to just... gently start to nudge Signless off of Darkleer with the faint hum and push of psionics.

But if he can get away with it, he'll stay just as he is in the relative security of their embrace. ]

[aim_exorable]

[To understand what that vague crackle of psionics is doing is enough to make Darkleer so incredibly grateful to the yellowblood. It had been bad enough when the other had been a mouse and insisted on fiddling with his hair. To have a fully-grown Signless touching him, hugging him...]

[It's only a very impressive amount of self restraint that kept him from throwing the other off of him in surprise, and that would have no doubt ended in a few broken bones.]

[Not sure what to say, he starts to shift awkwardly away, only to pause.]

[He has positively no idea what to do right now.]

[withoutasign]

[Oh, all right.]

[Signless agreeably shifts away from Darkleer, letting the psionics manipulate him. He settles against Psii, moving his arm off Darkleer and instead wrapping it around his oldest friend.]

It's okay, Psii... whatever happened, we can help you fix it.

[p2iioniicii2t]

None can. Not here.

[ He takes a slow, shuddering breath. ]

[aim_exorable]

[There are things he could say here but they are all trapped on his tongue in Signless' presence. Wordlessly, he just lets his fingers stay brushed against the Helmsman's.]

[withoutasign]

No, Psii, no.

[Signless tilts his head, trying to look into Psii's face. By now, he's almost crawled into Darkleer's lap himself, but he's completely unaware of that fact.]

Tell us, let us help you.

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ Darkleer, help him out here, he can't communicate what exactly is going wrong. With Signless here, so ready to fix everything, he's incapable of explaining himself. ]

I cannot.

[aim_exorable]

[That, more than anything, that bright helplessness burning against the Helmsman, that spurs Darkleer into action. Reaching over, he tugs him closer and clears his throat.]

Press further, and you'll have a troll broken.

[withoutasign]

Huh?

[Signless glances over at Darkleer, and it's like he's forgotten he was there. Then he looks back and forth, from the hulking blueblood to his cringing best friend, and damn, it sure is pale up here, isn't it? Whoops.]

My apologies.

[He gives Psii one last quick squeeze, then makes to stand up.]

I'll leave you two to it, then.