1 Penguin; accidental video

[augustpenguin]

[Some one's SFC is sitting in a pile of discarded clothes, tilted at an angle and facing the sea. It seems pretty calm out there, but after about two minutes of staying focused on this area something comes swimming through the water back to the shore very quickly.

Oh. It's that shirtless blond who showed up in the plaza last week, wearing those same pink and black jammers he arrived in.

As soon as he reaches shallow enough water he comes up sputtering and, eventually, screaming in a shrill voice. He bolts on to the beach and goes rushing by, a blast of sand covering the SFC and his clothes, cutting off the visual part of the feed. His voice fades in to the distance as he goes, though.

And then everything goes silent, until about five minutes pass he returns and picks it up, shaking the sand off. He still looks freaked, breathing heavy and wet hair dripping over his face.]

Th-there's a monster in the ocean! I went out to see how far I could swim a-and this huge thing came up and nearly ate me! WHY IS THERE A MONSTER IN THE OCEAN?!

Comments

[terribubbly]

Fluffy just wanted to play, that's all!

[ She's helping, really. ]

[augustpenguin]

THAT WAS NOT PLAYING!

[Yeah no he's not buying that]

[audio]

[grandhighblood]

[obscene cackling.]

Ain't that a trip? Try as I motherfucking might, killing that motherfucker doesn't do nobody no good it all seems.

[audio]

[augustpenguin]

[yeah he might be screaming more]

You've killed that thing?!

[audio]

[grandhighblood]

[Pause...]

Yeah. Ain't nobody tell you anything around here? Murder is just all kinds of fun and games here- we cheat death, just TRICK that motherfucker right to his motherfucking face and there ain't nothing he can all up and do about it.

Kinda funny, if you think about that shit right. Not so funny when you're treading water like a motherfucker and fighting a never-ending battle with a sea serpent.

[audio]

[augustpenguin]

I-I only got here last week! I'm still learning things! But I don't wanna fight a battle with a sea serpent!

[How much higher can you get his voice to go? Because he's reaching sonic levels of pitch already.]

[audio]

[grandhighblood]

Then best be keeping your weak-ass out of the motherfucking ocean! [Cackles again- man, that pitch may be high but it's all kinds of funny right now.]

But hey, fresh meat, yeah? Sounds like a motherfucking influx of that wicked noise right now, heh. What should this humble brother all up and call yourself?

[audio]

[augustpenguin]

I... I'm not weak...

[Way to make him feel horrible, dude. Though... really he's kind of used to it. He does get that treatment thanks to how small he is compared to other guys, and having a girl's name does not help.]

... Hazuki Nagisa.

[audio]

[grandhighblood]

Oh, yes you motherfucking are! Don't go around all taking that noise personally, my skimpy human friend- only way you can even be considered physically strong around here is to be all some kind of motherfucking monster.

[He chuckles lowly- that name doesn't mean a thing to him in terms of feminine or not. Guess that's the perk of conversing with a troll; They wouldn't know the difference.]

Nagisa. You wanna be motherfucking strong?

[audio]

[augustpenguin]

[He's pouting so much right now.]

I don't wanna be a monster! I may look scrawny but I'm a strong swimmer and that's what matters to me!

video (so sorry D: )

[savemegermany]

WAAA WHY IS THERE A MONSTER IN THE OCEAN! YOU SHOULD SURRENDER TO IT IMMEDIATELY SO IT DOESN'T EAT YOU LIKE THAT GIANT BEETLE IN THE PLAZA ATTEMPTED TO EAT ME SEVERAL TIMES BUT DIDN'T BECAUSE I RAN AWAY FROM IT REALLY FAST AND I KNOW PEOPLE SCARIER THAN THE GIANT BEETLE WHO COULD SCARE IT AWAY FOR ME BECAUSE DESPITE BEING SCARY THEY'RE REALLY NICE TO ME, JUST NOT TO THE BEETLE!

Re: video (fff oh man...)

[augustpenguin]

... THERE'S GIANT BEETLES TOO?!

[his heart can't take this...]

Re: video (this is just a bad match-up)

[savemegermany]

THERE ARE! I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM LATELY BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THEY'RE STILL HIDING HERE. SOMEONE SAID THEY WERE JUST PART OF A CURSE BUT I'VE SEEN THEM SEVERAL TIMES AND EACH TIME THEY JUST SEEM SCARIER AND I DON'T WANT THEM TO EAT ME OR CRUSH MY BAKERY!!!

video (its glorious)

[augustpenguin]

AHHH WHY ARE THERE MONSTERS HERE?! I DON'T WANNA BE EATEN!

video (it is!)

[savemegermany]

I DON'T WANT TO BE EATEN EITHER!!! I HIDE AWAY IN MY BAKERY OR AT MY HOUSE BECAUSE MY HOUSE IS SAFE AND BUILT LIKE A FORTRESS BECAUSE MY MERCENARY FRIENDS BUILT IT TO BE IMPERVIOUS TO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING SO I'M VERY SAFE HERE BUT I'M STILL AFRAID TO GO OUTSIDE SOMETIME BUT MY FRIEND THE VAMPIRE QUEEN GETS RID OF ALL THE GIANT BEETLES FOR ME BECAUSE I MAKE HER CHERRY-FILLED PASTRIES THAT LOOK LIKE BLOOD!

video

[augustpenguin]

I DON'T HAVE ANY PLACE TO HIDE!

... wait you have pastries?

video

[savemegermany]

YOU COULD ALWAYS HIDE WITH ME.

Si, si, of course! I run the bakery in the plaza. I make all my pastries from scratch~

video

[augustpenguin]

Ohh... pastries...

[That would be the sound of Nagisa's stomach grumbling loudly, all of this monster business suddenly forgotten.]

[secondcoolest]

To keep us from trying to escape that way, clearly.

[ THINK THIS THROUGH FOR A SECOND, GEEZ ]

[augustpenguin]

[but he doesn't want to :c ]

Isn't that what the barrier is for?!

[secondcoolest]

Extra precaution. The scientists are not infallible.

[augustpenguin]

... scientists?

[secondcoolest]

[ dead eyes ]

You're kidding, right?

[augustpenguin]

[shaking his head in response]

[secondcoolest]

[ heavy sigh ]

The scientists are the ones responsible for... most of everything around here, including all of us being here in the first place.