[Text]

[shippingmath]

Two weeks.
Apparently I was going in for a new personal record.
That, for the record, is apparently how much time I've spent unconscious.
As I'm sure those of you who give a fuck assumed after a few days of not hearing shit from me.

So tell me, what the fuck'd I miss?
You all must have managed not to get into too much shit, considering the dome isn't leaking water and making an attempt to drown us all.

Comments

[thekidsare0kay]

2hit, n0t like any0ne n0ticed y0u were g0ne.
y0u mi22ed 20mething t0tally imp0rtant, dude.
i grew wing2 and i have a 2tinger c0ming 0ut 0f my a22.

[shippingmath]

Really? Shit.
Missing your ass is a tragedy.
And I say this in the most platonic way possible.
I gather from your lovely description that there's another curse going on.
Another animal one?

[thekidsare0kay]

yup, you gue22ed it.

[He turns on the video, and turns his back to it, showing the stinger that's protruding through his pants, which got ripped and which he awkwardly repaired as best he could with safety pins. He's also got bee wings on his back]

What do you think?

[shippingmath]

[Nothing but more texting here. He's a mess, considering he literally just woke up. And he's not affected by the curse anyway.]

You the kind that dies if you sting someone?
If so, that sounds useless as fuck.
At least you got a shiny pair of wings out of it.

[thekidsare0kay]

[He sits down to read the text, squirming to get comfortable]

I haven't tried it, but I sure hope if I jab my butt needle into someone that I wouldn't disembowel myself. That'd be fucking embarrassing. [He buzzes his wings a bit] I'm liking them, yeah.

[shippingmath]

I'm sure.

So that's seriously all that happened? Not that I'm particularly sad I missed an opportunity to turn into a catboy again.

[thekidsare0kay]

[He flicks the video back off, because it's important that Dirk not see his face if they're going to do this again]

well, i wanked 0ff a bunch 0f times.
2hame y0u mi22ed that.

[oceanbreasts]

[ It takes roughly five minutes after the text message goes up before there's a sleek, pure white cat bounding into Dirk's room before leaping up and landing in his lap.

And now it's going to just curl up there and casually start licking its paw, but not before looking up and showing off the unusual, pink eyes.

That's your hint, Dstride. Figure out who this mystery cat is. ]

[shippingmath]

[Unless Roxy got a cat while he was asleep (which is, admittedly, very likely) he has a pretty good suspicion.

Time to test it.]

Damn, my own lapwarmer. I dub thee Lil' Ral.

[oceanbreasts]

[ There's a low, rumbling purr, and the cat turns its head to bump at Dirk's hand.

Bitch, you better scratch its ears. ]

[shippingmath]

[Who can say no to a cat? Certainly not him. Well, he could, but that would be cruel and unusual punishment.]

If you scratch me, I'm carrying you up to the island and dumping you in the goddamn ocean.

[oceanbreasts]

[ WOW RUDE. She's going to (playfully) bite at his hand to let him know she didn't appreciate that gosh.

And then she curls her front paws underneath her body and settles into the crook of his knee.

She missed you. ]

[symmetrophile]

I wondered where you had gone off to.

Now, if you're quite done sulking about how horrible you are and what a mess you make of everything, I should welcome you back properly.

Where are you?

[shippingmath]

Oh, shit, son, you've figured me out.
A sleep coma caused by forces beyond my control is precisely synonymous with sulking. I am in awe of how well you know me.
Not to mention your first-class reading comprehension skills.
They just teach you everything in reaper school, don't they?

I just woke up. Where else would I be, genius?

[symmetrophile]

[He's aware of what Dirk wrote, but his version of reality is better.]

If I had anything to say about it, you poorly socialized cur, it'd be the kennel.

In any case, I'm not interested in your half-baked excuses. I hope you've sufficiently prepared for my arrival.

[Because he is, as they say, already here.]

[shippingmath]

[He's not going to get in so easily, though. Apparently, Dirk has decided to ignore him and that last text. This might require drastic action.]

[action forever]

[stubbornskeptic]

[Jane's only a room over when she sees this post, so she decides to knock and stick her head in.

Her head with bunny ears on it. They're laying a little flat, emoting her tentativeness with saying hi. She'd been worried about him, of course, but they'd not really talked since their little fight, and, well. She doesn't want to push him if he's not ready. But she does want to make sure he gets something to eat.]

Dirk? How're you feeling? Um, are you hungry?

[action forever]

[shippingmath]

[By the time Jane pokes her head in, Dirk is at least out of bed, and his shades are firmly in place, though he hasn't managed to do much about the bedhead.]

I could probably eat an entire horse, with little exaggeration, at the moment.

[stubbornskeptic]

Hoo hoo, well, I'll make you whatever you like. [She smiles, her ears perking up slightly.] I can make something elaborate if you plan on hopping into the shower.

[...Oh goddamnit, rabbit puns.]

video

[stayb100ponyboy]

[Oh look, it's a fluffy grey kitten with big blue eyes looking into the screen. He's purring, squeakily, which is picked up by the SFC, and if Dirk looks closely, he'll see a little dark blue collar around his neck with a little arrow charm dangling from it.]

text

[findsrisks]

You missed everyone getting animal parts.

You missed other things too but you should ask someone in person about it.

[Nooot safe to talk about the station master on the network.]

Audio/

[rebull]

A month- guess I beat you-

Though, one time I left for uh- 10 sweeps- er- 20 about years, and came back.

Good you're back though, I uh, I guess, good an bad, guess it depends on the person. You yourself still? If so, you're currently missing feather and fur fiasco.