Sermon Two

[withoutasign]

[Signless has chosen his location carefully; when he turns on the video function, there's a wall of water behind him, and a school of brightly colored tropical fish swimming past. He's very clearly in the bubble again.]

My friends, today I want to talk to you about fear.

[His voice is low and soothing, his story-telling voice.]

I have known great fear in my time. In my world, the color of my blood was a source of fear, something that drove me into hiding for a long time. Then, when I dreamed of the world that could be, rather than the world that was, I was afraid again... afraid that I would never see what I knew we were capable of come to pass. I was afraid to speak out, afraid to make a ripple in the still, stagnant waters of our society, and tried instead to live my meager little life underneath the notice of the highbloods.

But then I saw what my silence was doing, what those in similar positions were suffering, and I knew I could not stay silent. I could not sit idly by while our world rotted away from its very core, while its corruption bled away the talents and very lives of so many trolls who had done nothing beyond being hatched the wrong color. I could not wait for another to come along and demand change, or I would wait the rest of my life. I needed to cast aside my fear, to find a reserve of strength within me, and rise to what my world needed me to be.

[His voice falls, becoming hushed and soft, almost painfully honest, and he looks down, his cloak hiding his eyes.]

I was terrified. Casting off fear is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Fear is something I knew, its cold comfort as familiar to me as my guardian's face. It would have been... easy to live my entire life in fear, I thought.

[He looks up then, and his eyes are burning, his voice strong once more.]

I thought that fear was a cloak to hide me, but it was a chain I wore around my neck. When the fear was gone, when I made the decision to cast it aside, I have never felt so free in my entire life. It was how I imagine it must feel to wake up one morning with wings, and look out the window into an endless sky. When the fear was gone, I could breathe a deep breath for the first time in my life, and look to the future not as an ominous, foreboding thing, but as a path bathed in light and redemption.

I am not afraid any longer, Vatheon. This is my home now, and it is worth fighting for. I will not be driven out of my home again. I will not let fear control me.

Comments

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ Not at all. What kind of apostle would he be if he did mind it?

After some time, he admits: ] I feel much fear.

[withoutasign]

[As soon as Psii speaks to him, Signless puts his SFC down and devotes his full attention to his friend.]

What are you afraid of, Psii?

[p2iioniicii2t]

I...

[ Sorry, bro, we're going to backslide a little bit here. It's a bad habit, but better this than shutting down entirely. His SFC floats up and he taps away at the keys. ]

Paiin.
Not my own.
II am two tiired two fear my own.
There are tho2e that wiill come for you.

[withoutasign]

[Oh, Psii. He hasn't used the SFC to do this in awhile; whatever he has to say must really be bothering him. And when Signless reads the message, he understands why, and he changes position, wrapping his arms around Psii's waist and putting his head on his shoulder.]

I'm not going to let them take me, Psii. I won't leave you alone again.

[p2iioniicii2t]

There ii2 no one two protect you.

[ He just sort of slumps into the hug, leaning up against him as he drops his gaze. ]

[withoutasign]

You can protect me.

[Signless smoothes his hair down, gently rocking him back and forth against his chest.]

We always protected each other in the past, we'll do it here too.

[p2iioniicii2t]

II diid not before.
IIf iin my fiir2t liife II had faiiled you, what hope do II have iin the 2econd one two 2ucceed?

[withoutasign]

You never failed me. You went down fighting, trying to defend me, and I'm the one who chose to go back and not leave you behind. If anything, I'm the one who failed you.

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ That gets a short, sharp shake of his head. No, Signless had never failed him. After saving him from himself again and again since they've been in the bubble, he can't accept the other man taking any sort of blame. ]

Do not 2ay that.
You have never faiiled me.

[withoutasign]

[Signless just hugs him closer at that; he knows he failed Psii. He was so stupid, he thought they'd kill all of them when they were caught, that they'd all face the Executor together. He had no idea what they'd do to his best friend.]

And you have never failed me. So we're equal.

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ And the Psiioniic had always known that a horror awaited him. Perhaps not the extent of that doom that lay in the future, but he'd still gone into it all willingly. ]

II do not want two fiight.
II do not know iif II can.
But II wiill try two be worthy of you.

[withoutasign]

You do the best you can, all right? And just know that I love you, and nothing is going to change that. You understand? Nothing.

[p2iioniicii2t]

Ye2.

[ He ducks his head down against Signless's shoulder. ]

Ye2, II know.
Now tend two tho2e that do not yet.

[withoutasign]

[Signless keeps his arm around Psii, but gives his hair a quick, affectionate ruffle, and drops a light kiss against the top of his head.]

Thank you for understanding.

[Then he turns back to others who need him... but he never lets go of Psii.]