Sermon Two

[withoutasign]

[Signless has chosen his location carefully; when he turns on the video function, there's a wall of water behind him, and a school of brightly colored tropical fish swimming past. He's very clearly in the bubble again.]

My friends, today I want to talk to you about fear.

[His voice is low and soothing, his story-telling voice.]

I have known great fear in my time. In my world, the color of my blood was a source of fear, something that drove me into hiding for a long time. Then, when I dreamed of the world that could be, rather than the world that was, I was afraid again... afraid that I would never see what I knew we were capable of come to pass. I was afraid to speak out, afraid to make a ripple in the still, stagnant waters of our society, and tried instead to live my meager little life underneath the notice of the highbloods.

But then I saw what my silence was doing, what those in similar positions were suffering, and I knew I could not stay silent. I could not sit idly by while our world rotted away from its very core, while its corruption bled away the talents and very lives of so many trolls who had done nothing beyond being hatched the wrong color. I could not wait for another to come along and demand change, or I would wait the rest of my life. I needed to cast aside my fear, to find a reserve of strength within me, and rise to what my world needed me to be.

[His voice falls, becoming hushed and soft, almost painfully honest, and he looks down, his cloak hiding his eyes.]

I was terrified. Casting off fear is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Fear is something I knew, its cold comfort as familiar to me as my guardian's face. It would have been... easy to live my entire life in fear, I thought.

[He looks up then, and his eyes are burning, his voice strong once more.]

I thought that fear was a cloak to hide me, but it was a chain I wore around my neck. When the fear was gone, when I made the decision to cast it aside, I have never felt so free in my entire life. It was how I imagine it must feel to wake up one morning with wings, and look out the window into an endless sky. When the fear was gone, I could breathe a deep breath for the first time in my life, and look to the future not as an ominous, foreboding thing, but as a path bathed in light and redemption.

I am not afraid any longer, Vatheon. This is my home now, and it is worth fighting for. I will not be driven out of my home again. I will not let fear control me.

Comments

action;

[rebull]

[Snickers, pushing close and tugging Darkleer's hair to get his face closer. More nose kissing before craning his neck up to press their foreheads together.]

You're relationship with him. I want to know about that part of your life.

wow did not get this in my inbox at all 8|a

[aim_exorable]

I've never really explained it before, I'm not sure...

[But the constant touching is reassuring, and Darkleer takes a deep breath, abandoning his previous sentence and sorting out his thoughts.]

I admired him a great deal. I suppose that isn't too unusual. Even when I became an adult, I still felt quite small besides him, but it was never in a bad way. I suppose that doesn't make much sense, does it?

Whoops.

[rebull]

[Doot doot, running fingers through his hair because he totally can now without it being weird.]

[Even if it's still weird... pity is weird.]

Heh, yeah, I know how you feel about the small thing. It's nice to have a good relationship with your lusus.

But yeah, big in that, uh, protective, strong reassuring wall of an animal kind of way. A beast that's large size would comfort a weary troll instead of be threatening, because you knew his composure and mannerisms.

[aim_exorable]

That's right. [Having someone understand is reassuring and Darkleer's smile is a bit more sturdy.]

It was a bit foolish, but I never stopped feeling... safe around him. Even when I joined the Archeradicators, he stayed by my side. I had to make something of a case for him- we're not like Cavalreapers, we don't usually use mounts.

[rebull]

Bows on horse back can be pretty nice though. A hella a pain to knock down.

[UH, SHOULD PROBABLY STOP AT THAT. Summoner is going to assume talking about the proper ways to kill Archeradicators is not a polite subject in this particular company...]

Uh, I'm happy you and your lusus were so close though? It's a really nice bond to have.

[aim_exorable]

[Yeah, it really is wise to not talk about that. Especially considering some of the Archeradicators Darkleer knew back then could very well still be alive in Summoner's time.]

[And that would be a moodkiller to end all moodkillers.]

It is, and I am glad to have known it. I only wish I could have spent my time with him better.

[rebull]

I doubt that's a wish you need to have. He probably enjoyed his life very much and wouldn't trade it for anything.

[aim_exorable]

I would like to think so...

[A sigh.]

You have quite the envious skill.

[rebull]

Heehee, it is isn't it?

[A small smile, leaning forward. He presses his forehead on the other troll's chest, horns extending out at either side and curling about Darkleer's form.]

You know you can use it through me whenever you want, right?

[aim_exorable]

I don't think I would hardly know where to start...

[A pause as he reaches up, running his fingers through Summoner's hair and really basically just petting him.]

Dural, perhaps, but... I'm not sure if that is something you would want to do.

[rebull]

I'd be okay with it. I like Dural, even if she can be quite the bird.

[Smiles, pushing into his hand softly.]

[aim_exorable]

[His relaxed- or as close to it as he can get right now- expression falters a bit.]

Has Dural told you whose lusus she is...?

[rebull]

Yep.

[aim_exorable]

...Oh.

[That's... good, then. At least Summoner doesn't seem bothered by it. Darkleer relaxes again.]

Perhaps when your wings have healed better, then...

[rebull]

Yep!

[More rubbing his head into his chest more before getting up and crawling into his lap again.]

Sure, whenever you'd like. My time here is pretty much yours, you know that.

[aim_exorable]

And I am yours.

[Was that not an exact echo? Oh well. Darkleer begins to slowly lay back, arms carefully wrapping around Summoner.]

I am well aware that I'm stating the obvious, but you're so warm... [He sighs into Summoner's hair, content.]

[rebull]

And you're fucking cold.

[A chuckle, curling into him, closing his eyes.]

But it's pretty comforting, hmm... Refreshing. Sometimes it really feels like I could burn up. [A smile, moving to press his cheek against Darkleer's, sighing when he feels the cold skin against his face.]

I'll always fight for equality, yeah, but there are definitely differences. [Wraps his arms slowly around the other's head, pressing against the back of his neck.]

I think it's better to embrace them though.

[aim_exorable]

[Better to embrace the differences.... Even those which placed them apart. Like lifespans.]

[Darkleer just makes an uncertain noise in the back of his throat and falls silent. This is another difference he is not quite sure about. Exile he may be, but he is still...]

[Not for the first time, he wonders just what in the world he is doing, being the matesprit of a rebel leader.]

[rebull]

[His ears flicker, catching the noise. Summoner doesn't react at first, but soon tightens his arms and pushes closer, his eyes barely open as he glances over at the other troll with a curious look on his face.]

What?

[aim_exorable]

It's... nothing.

[He doesn't want to start an argument.]

Perhaps we should just enjoy the peace.

[rebull]

[He stares for a moment, quiet, before putting his head down.]

Best not to lie, just tell me it's something you'd prefer not talking about, okay?

[A small kiss to Darkleer's ear before he falls silent again, weaving fingers into his long hair.]

[aim_exorable]

...Oh.

[That is indeed something he should be getting into the habit of again.]

I apologize. I just... I want you to stay content like this.

[His head drops down against Summoner's fingers and he closes his eyes.]

[rebull]

I fully recognize the hypocrisy, uh, on either of our sides with this relationship, with what we both believe, and in my case, fight for.

[He breaths deep, staying close.]

Even through that I'm content. Uh, isn't... that what this is, kind of? Accepting someone even through that?

[Summoner would adore trying to get Darkleer to think differently, for him to see his way, the prophet's way. But that's not why they're here, like this, together. He can accept that, and he pities Darkleer for being so attached to his conditioning.]

[aim_exorable]

I believe it is more often kismesises who come together under such circumstances...

[But there's a voice lecturing in the back of his mind, faint but still there in his memories after all these years.]

But.... It's true. The kind of pity and love most trolls aspire to does work past obstacles like this..

[And that's all he can admit. To go further, to try and actually challenge the beliefs that have been carved into him since childhood... He cannot do that.]

[rebull]

Hate for those views, yeah. It's a different approach, but just as passionate.

[He takes in a deep breath, smelling the other's hair as it presses into his face. Maybe he has it all wrong... how pity and that is supposed to work. Either way Summoner feels this connection, something that makes his heart flutter. He's pretty sure that if everything else he's doing is wrong, that feeling is right.]