caughtinanetwork | steamboat willie (2

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steamboat willie (2 - video)

Hiya, everybody! Gee, I'm sorry that I've been so quiet fer so long... Minnie got a real bad case of the... whatever-ya-wanna-call-it that was goin' 'round, so I was spendin' every second of every day helpin' her get better.

Now that she's up and at 'em, I figure I should get ta know everyone here better, since it looks like we're all gunna be stuck here a while. So let's make this interestin'... gimmie yer name, and somethin' about yerself that makes ya totally different than anybody else!

I'll start off! My name is Mickey Mouse, and I'm a King! Yer turn!

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I heard about that, where ya don't remember a thing. It's really strange... the people I know from home are even from the past! Not a thing here makes a lick of sense. Even Wonderland has more logic than this place.

Wonderland?

[He tilts his head.]

Believe it or not, the time shenanigans here aren't the weirdest ones I've ever been through. It is infinitely difficult to ever top having your own freshly cloned grub self crawling on you before he is snatched up by meteors to go back in time, then sweeps later become the current you who just cloned him. A few people showing up from different parts of the timeline here is all but normal next to that.

[Whoops. Going to pretend he didn't say that for now~]

Gosh, I don't think anything could come close to that experience. Sure does make ya unique.

Not really. There's another guy here who basically did the same with his disgusting earth baby past self.

And again with the not answering my questions thing.

[Playing it carefully here...]

Ya mean Wonderland? Ya never read the book, 'Alice in Wonderland'? That's all it was.

Look at me, Mickey. I'm a troll. If we even have some analogue to Alice in Wonderland, it would be a troll version, and probably way different than whatever it is for you.

Guess that's true. Well, it's a fairy tale, a neat little book. A girl names Alice falls inta a rabbit hole, and winds up in Wonderland. It's a huge place that makes absolutely no sense. If ya think a talkin' mouse is weird, then ya wouldn't believe she meets rabbits, cats, do-do birds, lizards, and all sorts a' creatures that can walk and talk the same as us.

It's not that you're a talking mouse; I've already met another one here, and my ancestor was one for a curse last month. It's that you're some weird giant version of one who claims to be a king.

I don't see any reason why I'd need ta lie about it. My wife, the Queen, is here too, if ya still don't believe me.

It just seems weird that squeakbeasts would have their own royalty. What do you even need it for?

Edited 2012-03-11 16:41 (UTC)

Someone has ta rule over our world, and keep things orderly. We help protect our people and make sure the bad guys get punished.

[Karkat looks wary at that.]

Then what is it that makes you and your wife royal in your society?

Well, I got royal by marryin' her!

[... what you mean like politics? pffft disney has no sense of such things.]

Then her, why's she the queen out of anyone?

[Not quite politics.]

Cause her folks were the King and Queen before her.

[don't argue with fairy tale logic, nobody wins.]

But that's not even a good answer!

[He'll try anyway, even if he's seen how frustrating fairy tale logic is before during the relevant curse.]

What is it? Is it caste? Something else?

Well, it's just how it's always been. Their family's always been in charge, as far back as I can remember, and there ain't been any complaints.

[Some of his wariness dies back at that answer, though he still looks a bit confused. Succession via family lines? Pssht, what culture does that?]

[(One with a concept of families.)]

Fine, fine, I'll leave it.

But what kind of leader is she, then? Or you, for that matter, if you'll give an accurate account of it.

She's always been a great leader, and I'd like ta think I've done pretty well for myself. We make sure everyone is treated fairly, and that our people are happy and healthy.

And what constitutes "fair" for a ruler in your culture?

[He'll learn yet that Disney royals aren't the troll kind, but for now, he has to ask.]

[How to explain what he thinks should be obvious...]

Well, we don't treat anyone as if they're better than their neighbor. Everyone gets their say, and if ya work hard, ya get rewarded as ya deserve. We all work together for the same goals.

[Oh, he knows what equal means, he just doesn't trust royal types immediately. Up goes the eyebrow.]

And you're being serious now, not shitting me or anything?

Why, of course!

[He blinks once or twice, then finally appears mollified.]

Huh. Okay, consider the impromptu session of twenty questions over; you pass the unspoken test for decent living being. Congratulations on not being a supremacist asshole, even if your system of royalty still sounds confusing.

... Ummm... thank you?

[... One assumes this is a compliment.]

[VIDEO]

bethehugejerk - 2012-03-14 00:23 (UTC) - Expand

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