♑ > Bread, an essay. By Gamzee Makara, age 16.

[420]

[Error: Your private message to user Karkat Vantassee it's like could not be posted. Message has instead been rerouted to the network. |


Which... is not even something that should be possible! Gamzee. Gamzee, how the fuck did you manage this. People spend hours hacking to manage shit like this. It must have been a

wait for it


waaaaait



colossal accident.]



BrEaD, rIgHt?
MoThErFuCkIn bReAd.
YoU EvEr rEaLlY GoT YoUr mOtHeRfUcKiN PrOpEr rEaLiZaTiOn oN At wHaT KiNd oF SiCk lEvElS Of dOpE BrEaD Is?
LiKe fIrSt yEaH, tHe fUcK DoEs iT EvEn uP AnD CoMe fRoM, mAn?
HaVe yOu eVeR LaId gAnDeR At a bReAd bUsH? oR On lIkE A FuCkIn tOaSt tReE?
No!! cAuSe i'm tElLiNg yOu, BrO, tHaT ShIt's 100 pErCeNtS Of pUrE MoThErFuCkIn mIrAcLeS.
BrEaD JuSt *Is*.
YoU CaN'T ExPlAiN ThAt, YoU CaN'T PuT YoUr mOtHeRfUcKiN ScIeNcE At bReAd.
BrEaD DoN'T PlAy lIkE ThAt
ShIt's pLuCkEd aLl tOgEtHeR FrOm pUrE FuCkInG MiRaClEs.
AnD Ok lIkE
ThE FuCk iS UuUuUuP WiTh hOw mOtHeRfUcKiN GoOd iT MaKeS EvErYtHiNg iN YoUr tRaP?
LiKe wOaOaH, i dId pUt sOmE Of mY PiE JuSt tHe fUcK NoW AlLs oN A SwEeT-AsS SlIcE Of tOaSt aNd hOlY ShIt, BeSt bRoThEr, I'M TeLlInG ThIs sHiT StRaIgHt aT YoU, tHaT WaS MoThErFuCkIn aMaZiNg bEiNg.
HoW ThE FuCk dOeS BrEaD Do tHaT?
WhO WeNt aNd tOlD It tO AlL Be aBoUt mAkInG EvErYtHiNg tAsTe gOoD?
LiKe, YoU CaN Be lIkE PuTtInG A SlIcE Of wInGbEaSt mEaT On iT RiGhT AnD ThAt sHiT'S GoOd eAtInG BuT YoU CaN AlSo uP AnD CoVeR ThAt mOtHeRfUcKeR WhAt wItH ThE MoSt rIgHtEoUs oF JeLlY WhAt a bRoThEr cAn pUt cLaW On aNd tHe sHiT'S StIlL GoOd.
HoW CaN ThAt eVeN Be, MoThErFuCkEr?
FuCkIn bLoWs yOuR PaN, dOn't iT JuSt.
Is tHeRe eVeN AnY OtHeR MiRaClE WhAt yOu cAn aLl dO ThAt wItH?
I DoN'T ThInK So.


[Gamzee go home, you're high.]

Comments

[ms_potts]

[A few minutes later a recipe is posted for cinnamon raisin bread with the steps broke down in simple easy to follow instructions.]

[420]

HaHa, WhAt?

[Like. He'd normally get the whole recipe concept --and he'd normally also actually understand the fact that you can make bread-- but right now he's one and a half pies worth of high and what is this?]

[ms_potts]

You wondered where bread came from. This is a recipe for how to make bread. It does jot grow on trees or anything miraculous like that. It's made.

[420]

Huh. Aww, no way, dogg. You ain't gotta be like that. Don't be all like fuck I'm putting motherfuckin' science at these miracles. Rude ass noise is what that is. Sometimes you just gotta let shit be beautiful, aight? Don't think, feel. You feelin' me?

[ms_potts]

[... what is this guy on?]

Um... no, I don't believe I am.

[420]

Like...


[He trails off for a moment trying to find the right words.

And then he trails off longer cause he nearly fell into his fuckin zone and forgot he was talking. Whoops.]


Like, you ever up and fuckin' felt that wonder in your pump at when putting gander on some shit real amazing?

[ms_potts]

I'm not even sure that was English.

[420]

What part weren't?

[ms_potts]

Oh the words were English but the order of them is positively confusing.

[420]

Really? Shit. I just all put the lil' bros the way they was rolling around in my sponge, you know? Speak from your fuckin' pump and all.

[He curls one hand into a fist to tump himself on the chest. Sadly enough he is a bit too high for that and mostly just end pounding himself on the stomach but the intent was there.]

[ms_potts]

[... did he just hit himself?]

Are you alright?