caughtinanetwork | Video Entry

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Video Entry

[It's been a while since Izaya's made a video. When the video clicks on, he appears to be crouched down and in front of some greenery. Presumably, he is on the island.

A smile.]

Hell-oh Vatheon. How are you all?

[That's a rhetorical question. He has better things to ask.]

I got a question for you creatures, monsters, trolls, humans, aliens, and everything in between-

[Dramatic pause for the effect-]

What makes the person that's most important to you be that person?

[His face scrunches up as if that doesn't sound quite right to him but. It's good enough.]

((OOC: I'm sorry for being delayed, if not bad, on my last open log. I don't have much stamina for logs and prose right now but I'm craving some interaction. This shouldn't be as shit-infested as my recent posts have been. Le promise~))

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[It's a little awkward for Sola to respond this way to someone he actually lives with, but since he's been out quite a bit lately visiting his trolldads, it's more reliable than just waiting until he sees him around the apartment.]

Isn't it that you feel like you don't even want to live without them? Like you can't?

[He sounds a little unsure, seeming to think this question actually has a right or a wrong answer, but he's hoping Izaya will give him the right one if he has it wrong.]

[Izaya hasn't really been around much. So.]

Sola. [A cool grin. His eyes darken a bit because he has things he wants to do.]

I know how that feels.

[A look of realization settles over his face.]

Hmm....

Say. Are you in love with Zelda?

[Sola squirms a bit, looking like a kid who's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.]

Um, well... y-yeah..

But I'm trying not to!

Eh. You'll never stop at that rate then.

[He's indifferent about it, don't worry.]

Have you even tried to court her?

[....]

Sorry. By the way. That I haven't given you lessons yet. Now that I'm not in a coma~.

Signless said it would take time. I've only been trying for a little while. She gets really sad whenever I see her I don't really think I should try...

[Sola looks back at the screen, perking up a bit.] I'm glad you're awake. Ion and I were worried.

Who? And. Heh. Time doesn't always heal love. Especially if you loved her since the moment you saw her. Then it really never really goes away. And it's foolish to think it does.

[Granted, it really does depend, but from Izaya's own personal experience.]

That's because you look like the man that she is in love with.

[So flippant.]

Thanks. Ion took good care of the house. Laharl just woke up too- thankfully.

Signless, he's my, um... my friend. He's sleeping now, too.

[Sola shifts awkwardly again, not sure how to respond to any of the stuff about Zelda. Signless had told him one thing, and here's Izaya telling him another, and he's not sure who to listen to.]

...what should I do? If it won't go away.

Well. It might. It might not. He could be right, that it goes away with time. But sometimes it doesn't and you should probably be prepared for that.

[He contemplates that. What to do?]

Hmm....I don't know. Do you know what the word 'sacrifice' means?

It's when you give up something to get something else, right?

Uh huh, that's right. A lot of people give up things for the people that they love. They give up their families, their friends, dreams, money, someone else, something else, all so that they can please the one that they love or be with the one that they love. People all throughout history have gone through extremes to prove to the person that they love that they truly love them.

[His smile becomes easy, but rather...distilled and dull.]

From where I come from, people would show their undying love for someone by quite literally dying. I've had plenty of girls kill themselves to prove themselves to me before.

[Not an entire lie.]

And after, I always regretted not being with them.

[A complete lie.]

But that's the great thing about Vatheon, isn't it? You can do something so drastic to prove yourself and really, you'll be just fine. Sometimes, running from your love doesn't always work. Sometimes, you have to run straight into it. Or fall straight into it.

You mean... if I die, then.. she'd love me?

[Sola could see why Ion and Signless would keep that from him, seeing Ion's reaction to him almost fading away, and Signless's slow decline after Karkat's death. But... it would be fine, right? He would come back, and Zelda would be so relieved, she'd realized she loved him too... right?

But what if she doesn't? What if he comes back and she still rejects him?

Or what if he doesn't come back at all? He's a replica, not a real person, so what if it doesn't work and he just stays dead?

At least then he wouldn't feel so pained every time he thought of her, and she wouldn't have to see him. Ion, Signless, Psiionic.. they'd all be sad, but... they'd understand, wouldn't they?]

Will it really work...?

There's a good possibility. It really awakens plenty of people into realization. There's an idea that if you lose something, you realize how you've felt about it all along.

[Okay. That really, really isn't that much of a lie. Izaya, for a moment, considers that maybe he shouldn't. Maybe he could lose Shizuo. But then the fact that Shizuo had attacked him and been so willing to risk their relationship for Zelda.

....

His eyes become cold for a moment and he stares out from the camera, his expression tense.]

I can only pray that it does. For you.

[He mutters this and then looks back at the camera, his expression softening.]

It still might not. There is the slightest possibility but...After such a display of affection? I don't know how any woman could resist. She'll take your love seriously then.

[That cold expression worries Sola. Here he is, whining about his own feelings and troubles with Izaya trying to help when there seems to be something going on on his end too.]

A-are you okay? I haven't seen you since you woke up, but your face... [He doesn't have the words to describe it, but there's something off.

And he's also a little terrified of dying, even if he will come back. He's not sure he wants to think about it, especially when he promised Ion.]

Me? I'm fine. I'm in your same kind of position is all.

[He smiles as if encouraging Sola that he truly is fine. It's an easy smile, something that lifts up his lifts where they're supposed to and it even makes him appear much softer.

It's just a look he's perfected. Something to bring out around frightened teenage girls. A harmless expression that demands complete trust from the victim in question.

Not that he puts that much thought into it. Being a predator is very natural to Orihara Izaya.]

What? Is my face handsome~?

No, I mean- well, it is, I guess, but I just mean you looked upset.

[A pause.]

You're in the same position at me? You're in love too?

Do I?

[kjsdkjskfg Sola. You can't just ask people that.

He looks a little startled at the bluntness. He actually hasn't really talked about this progression with Shizuo to anyone yet.

Unlike Shizuo, he doesn't really have friends to talk to about things like his feelings. Or whatever.

He swallows.]

Yeah. I guess so. It's not like it's a recent development or anything but the openness of it is.

[Aww, but that's not true Izaya! Sola likes you! So do Laharl and Ion!]

Do they love you too?

[If so, Izaya's the luckiest person in the world right now according to Sola.]

No.

[It's a firm answer. Quiet.]

They don't.

[He looks away from the camera and for a brief second, there it is- just barely there- a hint of hurt.

But it's gone and he shrugs a shoulder up.]

I'm not even their most...important person.

[Stiff. Okay. He huffs and then looks back at the camera, smile back in place.]

But it's okay, right? He lets me love him. And be with him. That's more than he's ever let me before so I get the chance to be a little selfish now. Before he decides that he doesn't really-

[He stops. And just. Stops.]

[Sola's expression is a lot more mature at that, a lot more understanding. He knows how that feels, every time he delivered milk to Zelda in the morning and she smiled that radiant smile and he knew it wasn't his to keep... yes, he knows exactly how Izaya feels.]

It hurts more that way, doesn't it.

[It's a statement, not a question.]

It'd be easier if we could just stop and not care anymore, but... that doesn't work either. There's no off switch.

[The Hylian draws his knees up to his chin, his leggings barely visible on the screen.]

But even if there was, it's hard to imagine pressing it.

Nn. It does.

[Izaya admits it calmly, but that sadness is evident in his eyes. It's subtle but.]

I've tried to turn it off plenty times before. Heh. That's why I kind of know that it's not as easy as just stopping with time. I've kind of been in love with him for seven years.

That's a lot of time and it really just got worse. And I went months without seeing him sometimes.

Maybe for some people it helps. But. I wouldn't say it always does. Not when you really love someone.

[It was always a lot more complicated than love for Izaya. The way he felt about Shizuo was so advanced that it was hard to express to other people and Shizuo himself just by using the word 'love'.

He had only said it to Shizuo once and it had maybe been out of desperation but honestly? He'd probably never say it again. Not for a long, long time.]

It's funny, Sola. People always ask me if I'm lonely. I'm really not. But you know what makes me feel lonely? Loving him. Neheh.

[His laughter seizes him a little bit and he eventually covers his face with a hand, his laughter muffled by his palm now.]

God, I sound like I need to kill myself.

[A very slight but sympathetic smile crosses Sola's face as he looks at his friend over the SFC.]

I know. It's lonely, being the only one in love. If what you told me before is really true, though, um... wouldn't he love you if you died, too? Then, when we come back, we can all be happy for real and not lonely.

[Maybe Sola wouldn't be so scared if they did it together, and keeping on like this... it hurts too much. And there's also that other worry...]

...I don't know if I would come back, though...

Believe it or not~, I've considered that once or twice. Killing myself to see what he would do. But the thing is, I kind of have a bit of a phobia of the after life. Even dying in Vatheon unnerves me something.

[But he smiles at the camera, a glint in his eye yet again.]

Maybe we could do it together though, hn? That way, we could both die to prove our love and if we don't come back, at least we'll have gone together?

But I'm sure we'd come back.

I'm really not sure I would, I'm not a real person...

But...maybe. If we're together, then... you can pull me back? If there's any of "me".

[He squirms a little, uncomfortable.]

I died before and there was nothing. I don't even know how I got here at all...

You're a real person. No matter what anyone says. You exist, don't you? You have your own opinions and your own thoughts.

You can change your mind. You breath. You love.

How do you not exist?

And just because there was nothing before- that doesn't mean it's because of you. For all we know, there might be nothing in the after life and that's just that. So don't worry so much. I'll be with you.

[Sola presses his fingers against the screen as if to hold Izaya's hand. He's frightened, terrified even, but the thought of what he could possibly gain from this, how happy he and Izaya could be with their respective loves, how happy he knew he could make Zelda if she'd just give him a chance...]

What will we tell everyone?

Video Entry

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I really need more icons for Sola if I'm gonna do epic threads like this x.x;

Oh I understand all right

I'll prolly grayscale some Link images or something ^^;

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