caughtinanetwork

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[Audio]

Okay, weirdos. I'm fucking bored.

I've reprogrammed this stupid piece of shit alien communicator thingy with a text to speech program. By touch. In a foreign programming language. So now there are no excuses.

Someone entertain me.

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I just said I wouldn't.

Yeah, sure. You're just the kind of douchebag who would be desperate enough to get together with anyone, but wouldn't want anyone to know. KK's too good for you, as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, and like I trust ANY a the fictional werbal swill that leawes your chute.

Fuck you, you'we no idea what him and I hawe been through, nor how fuckin' much he outright means to me. He's the LAST troll I'd be embarrassed by! So shut your fuckin' chute, you don't know shit!

When have I ever lied to you?

Wow, it actually almost sounds like you give a crap, Prince.

Tch, it's not a matter of if ya lied to me before, it's a matter a I just don't trust the likes a you.

[A snarl.]

Because I DO giwe a crap.

And weirdly, I don't trust you. But I actually have a reason.

Huh.

Yeah, yeah, I know your reason... [As much as he doesn't want to admit this...] And I can't blame ya.

Huh? What kinda retort is huh?

[A short silence. He really didn't expect Eridan to admit that]

It's not a retort. It's an expression of mild surprise.

[Yeah, Sollux, Eridan's grown a bit, he knows he did wrong. He's been working for almost a year now to try and make up for it and even if Sollux is/was his kismesis, he's not about to use that as an excuse to avoid blame.]

Well, whatewer. I don't rightly care if you're surprised or not, or if you're skeptical. It's the fuckin' truth.

...Okay, I'll believe you. But if you break his blood pusher I'll rip your fins off.

If I break his blood pusher I'm pretty sure Makara will finish what he failed to last month, so you won't hawe the chance to.

Oh yeah, for sure. Did Gamzee try to go murderous clown on your ass?

I'm blind in one eye because he thought I murdered Kar. I was able to escape before the psycho could finish the job.

Holy shit, really? Why'd he think you killed KK?

I fuckin' told ya, that murderin' bitch that liwes at Larmline killed Kar, but she recorded me findin' his body, put it on the network. Fuckin' tried to frame me. Gamzee fell for it, so he came after me and continued to sully my name till Kar came back. The stupid fuckin' waste of a troll.

[He definitely sounds bitter, almost hurt even.]

Well, I'd have probably thought it was you, too. Sucks that you got blamed for something you didn't do, though.

Yeah well I expect that from you…

Yeah, and I expect that from you, too, Prince.

[Ow...]

Fuck you too, bottomfeeder.

[Guess who just hung up.]

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