caughtinanetwork | i can't use what i can't abuse

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i can't use what i can't abuse—

[ hello, vatheon— are you enjoying your dark, underwater night with a murderer on the loose? no? yes? either way, at the strike of midnight, the entire power in the city cuts out.

complete darkness. until everyone in the city's sfc forcibly turns on... ]

APRIL FOOLS!!!

[ —is the really loud vocal chorus that immediately follows as the power returns, and visible on the screen are a bunch of bloody nurses cackling away. the most notable one would be the head nurse, of course— probably because she has a decapitated head beneath her arm, and is waving around a bloody surgical saw with a smile. when she speaks, it's cheerful as always: ]

This is one of your foreigner holidays, right? Did we do it right?? [ and she resumes laughing. ] My, you're all so foolish indeed!

[ she tosses the blood-soaked head unconcernedly, and the feed ends. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Gosh gosh gosh!

[Karkat can't talk right now, he is just too angry!]

[Enjoy the incoherent rage noises instead.]

[Juuuust watching, because again, so cute.]

[Eventually he speaks though.]

Resurrecting every dead ancestor would probably not be very good.

THAT

IS THE FUCKING

POINT!

Kinda seems rude. Just let them have their sleep.

FUCK NO. THEY SHOULD PAY FOR THE UNFORGIVABLE SIN OF SPAWNING SUCH DISGRACES INTO BEING.

No, uh, like, it is rude to the ancestors. Give them a break.

THEY DESERVE IT FOR THIS!

Um... the ancestors didn't really do anything though? I think you are directing punishment in the wrong direction, or misdirecting your aggression at the wrong targets.

WHAT PART OF THEY'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THESE ASSHOLES' EXISTENCE HAVE YOU FAILED TO HAMMER THROUGH YOUR DENSE LOBE???

But they couldn't have known this would happen and whoooaa! Whoa. See, there you go, misdirecting that anger again. You need some target practice. It is like some kind of shot gun spray right now, you need to try to focus your rage, imagine what you could do with it if you didn't just blow your load everywhere.

I AM NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING IN THE MOOD FOR YOUR WEIRD SEMI-SEXUAL METAPHORS, SO LAY THE HELL OFF, BECAUSE I WILL DIRECT MY RAGE WHEREVER I DAMN WELL PLEASE!

[Click!!1!]

[Nope, starting this up again.]

No no, we have a serious problem here that I think could very much benefit from approaching it like adults. Come on, take a deep breath.

NO! THE ONLY DEEP BREATH I WILL TAKE IS FOR THE FUELING OF A SECOND ROUND OF WRATH TORNADO.

Oh oh, wrath tornado! I like that one, say another.

CLASP ALL PRONGS FIRMLY AROUND YOUR LOBE STEM AND SQUEEZE, BECAUSE THE ONLY SERVICE YOU CAN DO ME RIGHT NOW IS CHOKING YOURSELF TO DEATH!

[CLICK, damnit!]

[Summoner, plz. Step off, buddy.]

It's cool. I got this shit.

I'm pretty sure what I'm doing isn't going to help.

That is kind of the point.

Then I all gotta ask a motherfucker to like fuckin' step off for a bit. Let a brother all try to help his best bro up in his motherfuckin' chill zone at.

Honestly, no fun with you kids sometimes, all serious and emotional. [A sigh.]

You got it.

Messing with a motherfucker when he already be down ain't real fuckin' fair, you get? Gotta save that shit for when they are cool, so you can btoh up and see the fuckin' mirth in it.

Yeah but you still need to learn to function when hot headed. But you're the Karkat expert so as said, I'll stop.

Thanks, bro. That be all I fuckin' wanted.

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