bethehugejerk: (Default)
Karkat Vantas ♋ carcinoGeneticist ([personal profile] bethehugejerk) wrote in [community profile] caughtinanetwork2012-05-01 12:13 pm

036 ♋ [TEXT] finally off hiatus

WHO THE KNIFE-SHITTING FUCK DYED MY HAIR????????
SPEAK UP YOU COWARD BECAUSE WHEN I FIND YOU I AM GOING TO TEAR OFF EVERY SINGLE STRAND FROM YOUR HEAD WITH MY BARE HANDS FOR THE ATROCITY YOU HAVE COMMITTED
AND BY THE TIME I'M DONE YOU WILL REGRET HAVING EVER HAD THE AUDACITY TO COMPLY WITH WHATEVER MECHANICS OF REPRODUCTION WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR BRINGING YOUR OFFENSIVE EXISTENCE INTO THIS REALITY
AND I WILL BEAT THE SKULL EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO SO MUCH AS LOOKS SUSPICIOUS UNTIL I FIND THE GLOBELESS SCOUNDREL WHO DID THIS!!!
P.S. FUCK YOU!
DON'T THINK I ONLY NOTICED YOU DID THIS TO ME TOO, NOOKSCUM, I SAW WHAT YOU DID TO ERIDAN
AND AS SOON AS HE WAKES UP FROM HIS COMA I WILL DIRECT HIM STRAIGHT TO YOUR HIVE FOR YOUR WELL-DESERVED ANNIHILATION.
HOW LONG HAS HE EVEN BEEN ASLEEP?
SPEAKING OF WHICH
HOW IN ANY REPULSIVE HELL DID I FALL ASLEEP FOR THREE AND A HALF WEEKS????
LIKE SERIOUSLY
I WOKE UP, AND IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE SEVENTH, AND I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ASLEEP IN THE FIRST PLACE!
I HAD SHIT TO DO
IMPORTANT THINGS
THINGS THAT WERE NOT MEANT TO WAIT UNTIL NOW, WHICH AS I FOUND OUT WHEN I CHECKED MY SFC IS MAY FUCKING FIRST.
ALSO MAY IS A STUPID NAME FOR A MONTH, HUMAN CALENDARS ARE RETARDED.
NO ONE ASKED IF THEY MAY PUT ME TO SLEEP UNTIL THE START OF IT!
WHICH IS BULLSHIT OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE
SHIT SO FOUL THAT ALIENS ON OTHER PLANETS ARE WRINKLING UP THEIR SNIFF NODE EQUIVALENTS AND WONDERING JUST WHAT PRODUCED THAT FOUL GALACTIC REEK.
JEGUS CHRIST THIS IS GOING TO BE A MIGRAINE WAITING TO HAPPEN AND I ALREADY HAVE A HEADACHE JUST FROM THIS.
EVERYONE, REPORT IN, RIGHT NOW, NO EXCEPTIONS.
I NEED TO KNOW ALL WHAT I MISSED AND HOW MUCH SHIT THE TEAM HAS LANDED ITSELF IN WITHOUT SOMEONE COMPETENT TO KEEP THEM FROM KNOCKING THEIR CRANIAL PLATES INTO THE NEAREST WALL.
I WILL NOT EVEN BE SURPRISED IF IT TAKES A WHOLE MONTH ENTIRELY, IF NOT MORE, TO DISENTANGLE THE MESS THAT INEVITABLY COLLECTED IN MY ABSENCE.
UGH.
I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP FOR A YEAR AFTER THIS.

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