Karkat Vantas ♋ carcinoGeneticist (
bethehugejerk) wrote in
caughtinanetwork2012-05-01 12:13 pm
036 ♋ [TEXT] finally off hiatus
WHO THE KNIFE-SHITTING FUCK DYED MY HAIR????????
SPEAK UP YOU COWARD BECAUSE WHEN I FIND YOU I AM GOING TO TEAR OFF EVERY SINGLE STRAND FROM YOUR HEAD WITH MY BARE HANDS FOR THE ATROCITY YOU HAVE COMMITTED
AND BY THE TIME I'M DONE YOU WILL REGRET HAVING EVER HAD THE AUDACITY TO COMPLY WITH WHATEVER MECHANICS OF REPRODUCTION WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR BRINGING YOUR OFFENSIVE EXISTENCE INTO THIS REALITY
AND I WILL BEAT THE SKULL EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO SO MUCH AS LOOKS SUSPICIOUS UNTIL I FIND THE GLOBELESS SCOUNDREL WHO DID THIS!!!
P.S. FUCK YOU!
DON'T THINK I ONLY NOTICED YOU DID THIS TO ME TOO, NOOKSCUM, I SAW WHAT YOU DID TO ERIDAN
AND AS SOON AS HE WAKES UP FROM HIS COMA I WILL DIRECT HIM STRAIGHT TO YOUR HIVE FOR YOUR WELL-DESERVED ANNIHILATION.
HOW LONG HAS HE EVEN BEEN ASLEEP?
SPEAKING OF WHICH
HOW IN ANY REPULSIVE HELL DID I FALL ASLEEP FOR THREE AND A HALF WEEKS????
LIKE SERIOUSLY
I WOKE UP, AND IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE SEVENTH, AND I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ASLEEP IN THE FIRST PLACE!
I HAD SHIT TO DO
IMPORTANT THINGS
THINGS THAT WERE NOT MEANT TO WAIT UNTIL NOW, WHICH AS I FOUND OUT WHEN I CHECKED MY SFC IS MAY FUCKING FIRST.
ALSO MAY IS A STUPID NAME FOR A MONTH, HUMAN CALENDARS ARE RETARDED.
NO ONE ASKED IF THEY MAY PUT ME TO SLEEP UNTIL THE START OF IT!
WHICH IS BULLSHIT OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE
SHIT SO FOUL THAT ALIENS ON OTHER PLANETS ARE WRINKLING UP THEIR SNIFF NODE EQUIVALENTS AND WONDERING JUST WHAT PRODUCED THAT FOUL GALACTIC REEK.
JEGUS CHRIST THIS IS GOING TO BE A MIGRAINE WAITING TO HAPPEN AND I ALREADY HAVE A HEADACHE JUST FROM THIS.
EVERYONE, REPORT IN, RIGHT NOW, NO EXCEPTIONS.
I NEED TO KNOW ALL WHAT I MISSED AND HOW MUCH SHIT THE TEAM HAS LANDED ITSELF IN WITHOUT SOMEONE COMPETENT TO KEEP THEM FROM KNOCKING THEIR CRANIAL PLATES INTO THE NEAREST WALL.
I WILL NOT EVEN BE SURPRISED IF IT TAKES A WHOLE MONTH ENTIRELY, IF NOT MORE, TO DISENTANGLE THE MESS THAT INEVITABLY COLLECTED IN MY ABSENCE.
UGH.
I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP FOR A YEAR AFTER THIS.
SPEAK UP YOU COWARD BECAUSE WHEN I FIND YOU I AM GOING TO TEAR OFF EVERY SINGLE STRAND FROM YOUR HEAD WITH MY BARE HANDS FOR THE ATROCITY YOU HAVE COMMITTED
AND BY THE TIME I'M DONE YOU WILL REGRET HAVING EVER HAD THE AUDACITY TO COMPLY WITH WHATEVER MECHANICS OF REPRODUCTION WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR BRINGING YOUR OFFENSIVE EXISTENCE INTO THIS REALITY
AND I WILL BEAT THE SKULL EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO SO MUCH AS LOOKS SUSPICIOUS UNTIL I FIND THE GLOBELESS SCOUNDREL WHO DID THIS!!!
P.S. FUCK YOU!
DON'T THINK I ONLY NOTICED YOU DID THIS TO ME TOO, NOOKSCUM, I SAW WHAT YOU DID TO ERIDAN
AND AS SOON AS HE WAKES UP FROM HIS COMA I WILL DIRECT HIM STRAIGHT TO YOUR HIVE FOR YOUR WELL-DESERVED ANNIHILATION.
HOW LONG HAS HE EVEN BEEN ASLEEP?
SPEAKING OF WHICH
HOW IN ANY REPULSIVE HELL DID I FALL ASLEEP FOR THREE AND A HALF WEEKS????
LIKE SERIOUSLY
I WOKE UP, AND IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE SEVENTH, AND I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ASLEEP IN THE FIRST PLACE!
I HAD SHIT TO DO
IMPORTANT THINGS
THINGS THAT WERE NOT MEANT TO WAIT UNTIL NOW, WHICH AS I FOUND OUT WHEN I CHECKED MY SFC IS MAY FUCKING FIRST.
ALSO MAY IS A STUPID NAME FOR A MONTH, HUMAN CALENDARS ARE RETARDED.
NO ONE ASKED IF THEY MAY PUT ME TO SLEEP UNTIL THE START OF IT!
WHICH IS BULLSHIT OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE
SHIT SO FOUL THAT ALIENS ON OTHER PLANETS ARE WRINKLING UP THEIR SNIFF NODE EQUIVALENTS AND WONDERING JUST WHAT PRODUCED THAT FOUL GALACTIC REEK.
JEGUS CHRIST THIS IS GOING TO BE A MIGRAINE WAITING TO HAPPEN AND I ALREADY HAVE A HEADACHE JUST FROM THIS.
EVERYONE, REPORT IN, RIGHT NOW, NO EXCEPTIONS.
I NEED TO KNOW ALL WHAT I MISSED AND HOW MUCH SHIT THE TEAM HAS LANDED ITSELF IN WITHOUT SOMEONE COMPETENT TO KEEP THEM FROM KNOCKING THEIR CRANIAL PLATES INTO THE NEAREST WALL.
I WILL NOT EVEN BE SURPRISED IF IT TAKES A WHOLE MONTH ENTIRELY, IF NOT MORE, TO DISENTANGLE THE MESS THAT INEVITABLY COLLECTED IN MY ABSENCE.
UGH.
I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP FOR A YEAR AFTER THIS.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Woooooooow sucks to 8e you!!!!!!!!
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WAS IT YOU??
DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH TO SUSPECT YOU, I KNOW YOU WERE INVOLVED WITH ERIDAN BEFORE AND YOU ARE A GRADE A BITCH TO BASICALLY EVERYONE ON TOP OF THAT.
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W)(oever did it, promise kick t)(eir ass extra )(ard for me, okay??
I boug)(t some bleac)( and dye kits for you and -Eridan t)(oug)(, if it's any )(elp.
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YOU WERE IN OUR HIVE?
WHY WERE YOU IN THERE
AND IF YOU KNEW ABOUT THE HAIR THING BEFOREHAND WHY DIDN'T YOU DO SOMETHING TO THE ASSHATS RESPONSIBLE INSTEAD OF JUST GETTING THE DYE?
BUT TRUST ME THAT THERE WILL MORE THAN SUFFICIENT ASSKICKING ONCE I FIND WHO DID THIS.
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You and Eridan Are Sleeping Together
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TH
NO!
NOT LIKE THAT!
WHAT THE HELL, KANAYA???
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[TEXT, filtered] since time shenanigans/other threads mean Eridan wound up fixing it later
Yeah I figured. Tagging enthusiasm died for a few days there, so I knew I'd be late. :/
[TEXT, filtered] I know how that is. also, want to do some sort of log for this?
Finally got around to making this log. That Signless Dualscar thing kinda dominated everything.
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Text, purposely messed up.
OpENn YoR DoOr.
:o)
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[What Gamzee would see is thus his moirail, braced for impact, looking wary, and with a streak of red in his hair.]
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[ACTION] time shenanigans are confusing so I'm going to say he heard about the curse/party earlier
[ACTION] Homestuck and time shenanigans? Say it isn't so.
[ACTION] I know right? who would have thought. saves me the effort of repeating reactions anyhow
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It's just hair dye you know. It'll grow out, or fade out. Either way it's not permanent.
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SOMEONE CAME INTO MY HIVE AND DID THIS WHILE I WAS SLEEPING, DIPSHIT!
IT IS A MATTER OF SOMEONE SNEAKING IN AND DOING SHIT TO ME WHEN I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT
AND THE SNEAKING IN PART IS BAD ENOUGH ON ITS OWN!
FOR ALL I AM WELL AWARE IT'S NOT THE WORST THAT COULD, MAY YOU FOREVER SHUT YOUR TRAP ON THAT ISSUE, IT STILL DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT THIS IS WELL-WARRANTED RAGE
AND A MATTER OF PERSONAL DIGNITY.
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...did someone really dye your hair?
[VOICE]
[Video] forever. she wants to see his hair ;~~;
[VOICE] fat chance
karkat you'll break her heart
too bad
baww
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[permavideo]
Welcome back. Who would even want to dye your hair?
... As for what you missed, there was a party, and then way too many posts of peoples' dreams. [From his tone, it's pretty clear that he doesn't think it was worth being awake for.]
[permavoice!]
Any one of the multiple assreeks hanging around the bubble just waiting for a chance to make my life shittier than it already is. Me going into a weeks-long coma must have been like a gilded invitation to whoever the fuck did it.
I've heard about those things already, and am strangely glad I missed them.
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somehow missed adding a question mark up there, whoops
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D --> All the peace and quiet in the bubble is gone now
D --> Karkat Vantas, vile cancer on all of parado% space, must be awake
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RICKETY PIECE OF SHIT IT IS
COMES FALLING DOWN ON YOUR VILE HEAD.
IF THE PEACE AND QUIET IS GONE FROM THE BUBBLE IT'S ONLY YOUR JUST DUE FOR EXISTING WITHIN THE SAME REALITY AS ME.
EVEN IF YOU CALL ME THE CANCER, PARADOX SPACE CRINGES THAT SUCH A FETID, FESTERING PILE OF FLESH AS YOU WAS EVER BROUGHT INTO THE WORLD.
NEED I REMIND YOU THAT IT'S ME YOU OWE THAT EXISTENCE TO, IF ONLY THAT SUCH A TERRIBLE EXCUSE FOR ANYTHING RECEIVED THE PROPER AMOUNT OF HATE IT DESERVES.
NOW
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT PUT THIS STREAK IN MY HAIR, BECAUSE IF YOU DIDN'T YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO WORK YOUR SWEAT-SOAKED ASS OFF TO PROVE YOU EVEN DESERVE THIS HATE AT ALL.
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I MISSED YOU!
I'll get to the thread with Equius when my brain's functional enough for longwinded insults
I HEAR THE DISCIPLE'S HERE AGAIN
AND THAT THERE'S SOME DREAM OF YOURS THAT GOT BROADCASTED DURING THE CURSE THAT HAPPENED WHILE I WAS ASLEEP.
[Jack Black plurk emote] sounds good!
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[text]
lots of text there
what color did they dye it?
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wait
what do you mean human?
like I know ive seen some odd stuff
...just tell me you arent some fish alien thing
that would be srsly crazy
[text]
IF I AM LONGWINDED IT'S ONLY BECAUSE THERE'S A SHITTON OF THINGS WORTH SAYING, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I DID THERE.
WHAT COLOR THEY DYED IT, HOWEVER, IS NOT ONE OF THOSE THINGS, SO DON'T ASK AGAIN BECAUSE I'M NOT TELLING YOU.
AND I MEAN HUMAN AS IN HUMAN, DIPSHIT
WHAT ELSE WOULD I EVEN MEAN BY IT.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION I AM AN ALIEN, SPECIFICALLY THE SORT CALLED TROLLS FROM PLANET ALTERNIA
WHICH HAVE JACK SHIT TO DO WITH EARTH TROLLS OR ANY OTHER KIND SO SAVE ANY MISGUIDED CRAP YOU'VE HEARD ABOUT TUSKS OR BRIDGES OR WHATEVER
BUT NO, I'M NOT A FISH ALIEN, SINCE I'M A LAND DWELLER.
IF ANYTHING WE'RE CLOSER TO INSECTS, EVEN INCLUDING THE SEA DWELLERS, WHO HAVE FINS AND GILLS.
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[Voice]
Must be Tuesday.]
Oh.
Hi, Karkat. Welcome back.
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[Not too cheery.]
Anything I missed beyond the whole party and dream crap that went on?
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[Voice] I actually played Karkat briefly in Som once
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The ciity of Vatheon ha2 been de2olate wiithout your uniique pre2ence.
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WAS THAT SARCASM?
BECAUSE I AM NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING IN THE MOOD FOR THAT SORRY FORM OF VERBAL EXCRETION RIGHT NOW.
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what happened?
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I WOKE UP FROM A THREE AND A HALF WEEK LONG COMA AND FOUND A COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY AND FURTHERMORE INSULTING STREAK DYED IN MY HAIR, AND LIKEWISE FOUND ERIDAN WITH HIS STREAK DYED OUT.
THIS POST IS THE CONGLOMERATION OF MY WELL JUSTIFIED RAGE AT THESE FACTS BECAUSE NONE OF THEM ARE THINGS I NEEDED.
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[TEXT, filtered] a straight answer will have to wait for when Zorn's around for me to ask him
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