caughtinanetwork

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Attention citizens.

You havve made the stupendous mistake of kidnappin one Commander Orphaner Dualscar, destroyer a wworlds an' scourge a the stars.

In light a your obvvious ignorance, and the admittedly pleasant surroundins, I'll be generous. You havve half an hour to explain wwhere I am, howw I got here, and wwhy, and to showw me the exit. It's the ocean, I can make my owwn wway from there.

I'm wwaiting. Don't fuckin disappoint me.

One last wwarnin: I'm not a vvery patient troll.

[OOC: I'm happy to do action tags/prose in the comments, too. Anyone who wants to run into him in person can find him wandering the main thoroughfare around the Lamufao, using his starfish phone thingy to monitor the network]

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Purrhaps, but I would expect you to at least have a modicum of reason.
What good will it do to continue as we have here, in a compurrletely new world with endless possibilities?
Please, Dualscar. Have you even considered it?

You are all the mad ones!
Wwhat wwe do not need right noww is to throww awway evverything wwhich made our race strong and powwerful and great.
There are wwhat, a feww dozen of us, many of wwhom are not evven of breeding age?
And apparently wwe are the last of our kind.
Wwe don't knoww wwhy wwe are here, nor wwhat wwill happen to us.
Monsters attack the city regularly, yet there is no standing army.
Havve YOU considered wwhat is at stake here?
I havve not offered vviolence to anyone, though I'm bein treated like a potentially feral animal at best an a fool at wworst.
Don't tell me to consider things like I am nothin but a child wwho needs to be guided.

Furgive me, I did not mean to make assumptions.
It is because of those factors that I feel we should stand united, as equals.
Together we can weather any storm this purrlace throws at us...
Though, frankly, it is a lovely place on the whole.

Yeah, but you look way more intimidating with the scars 'n all that and you called yourself 'Commander'. What's it all about?

THAT'S UNFORTUNATE.
OH, WELL.
GOOD LUCK GETTING SETTLED IN, EITHER WAY.

Wwhat's so lovvely about it?

Well, from a military standpoint, I understand that it's a good idea to know your enemies, correct? And you clearly feel that I'm an enemy to the Empire, so by spending time with me and being friendly, you'd be getting to know me better and would have all sorts of things to report to the Condesce. Wouldn't that increase your standings with her?

[And also allow Signless a chance to get in your head and smother you with kindness, but shhhh, let's not talk about that right now.]

[Oh that] I'm a military commander wwhere I come from. I command a fleet a ships, an I'vve been in many wwars an battles in servvice to the Empire.

Wwhy wwould you evven WWANT to come?
Do you really think it wwould end in any outcome other than vviolence?

[Oops, you caught him. That's exactly why he's getting the Helmsman to spy on Signless. He just wasn't expecting to do it with so little of a separation between them. He pauses and frowns]

And wwhat do you get out of it? Learnin' all a my wweaknesses, I suppose.

I'D HOPE IT WOULDN'T.
SURELY YOU'VE HAD TROLLS IN YOUR HIVE BEFORE AND NOT HAD IT END IN VIOLENCE?

Seriously? ...That's so freakin' cool, dude. What's it like?

_{[A beat, and he stops at the elevator to wait for the doors to open, then he's stepping inside and waves the troll in.]}

Who would I even tell?

[Signless spreads his hands beseechingly.]

Contrary to what you might believe, I'm not some great resistance fighter, nor would I spread your secrets around the bubble. I would do it for the opportunity to get to know you better. That's all.

Of course I havve.
You receivved your friend back safe an sound today, didn't you?
Wwell, fine.
If you wwant to, then come.
But I wwill not be vvarying my plans for tomorroww.
If they upset you, it's not my problem.

[He steps in a bit warily, looking about the inside of the cubicle. This could be some kind of trap, but...why?]

It's a difficult, demanding an rewwarding position. I havve the favvour of Her Imperious Condescension herself.

[Scowl] That'd demonstrativvely untrue, an if you think I'll believve that pile a hoofbeastshit, you must think I havve less than two braincells to rub together!

Efurything.

D --> I'm hardly a rebel
D --> I've never even spoken to the Signless
D --> My loyalties are to Darkleer

[And Gamzee, and Karkat, but he sees no reason to get into that.]

THAT'S TRUE.
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
SEE YOU TOMORROW.

I wouldn't be foolish enough to disrespect your abilities as a soldier or tactician.

[Which is completely true and not an attempt at brown-nosing. Signless knows very well what Dualscar is capable of.]

I know you as a military figure; now I want to get to know you as a man. There's no subterfuge there, no drama, only simple curiosity.

[He doesn't believe him. There has to be subterfuge, and some kind of plan to hurt him, make him safe. Karkat's threats, and what they did to the Grand Highblood, and everything about this situation tells him that that has to be what they're planning.

But he's not going to hide, either. He has his own plans, or at least is developing some. And while spending time with the Signless will probably make him want to slit his wrists, he can see the advantages as well.]

Fine, wwell, I already said in the other thread you can come ovver tomorroww. But you wwon't be gettin' any secrets to share, just to wwarn you.

Doubtful.

_{[It'd be the best trap he could ever come up with, that's for sure. Going uuuup!]}

Whew, the perks gotta be good if you're under someone with 'Imperious' in the name. Is she the top troll in uh... Alternia, right?

And Vvantas?

As a matter of fact, I do.

[Exasperated!]

It's called a robot and I am quite capable of constructing one for you within the day. Whether or not you had a hand in ensuring the Helmsman's disobedience, a robotic construct would be considerably more suited for such mundane tasks. Honestly, what would the Condesce think...

[Yes, he went there. Sighing, he gets to the final point.]

Has anyone told you of the experiments- also referred to as 'curses'- that are done here?

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