6 Time Loops ☼ Text

[knightime]

this is a pretty important question
say you were here and left
for lets say
nine months and you happened to have a pet who hasnt seen you in
well
nine months
how would yo-
oh fuck it

how the fuck do you tame a wild chocobo???
because he isnt exactly playing friendly or coming home because i called his name out extra nicely
this is kind of important
id kind of like to get him back but i actually no ding dong about chocobos and how they work
no amount of video games has ever prepared me to actually catch wild chocobos

i also should probably be like
hey whos here
be all like
guess whos back
back again
striders back
call a friend
idk
its been kind of weird
i accidentally walked into a house that isnt actually mine anymore
im not going to elaborate on that for reasons but it was awkward
note to self
find a new place to stay and dont forget because sleeping out here seems like a bad idea
js

so
chocobo

Comments

[sniffdeceit]

WH3R3 4R3 YOU, 4NYW4Y?
W3 PROB4BLY SHOULD R34LLY M33T UP
4PRON NOT R3QU1R3D BUT 3NCOUR4G3D

[knightime]

main plaza atm
i can hang out until you get here or i can come to you
next time
i havent found the perfect one yet

[sniffdeceit]

1'LL COM3 TO YOU!
JUST ST4Y R1GHT WH3R3 YOU 4R3, COOLK1D

[knightime]

dont keep me waiting too long
i cant handle waiting any longer
im but a lonely young maiden
le sigh

action

[sniffdeceit]

[Hey there, coolkid. There will be one(1) sexy female troll headed your way a.s.a.p.

Expect to see her cheerful, grinning face any moment now.]

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[knightime]

[He's got a pretty big smirk on his face as he waits.]

Look who decided to show up. Oh wait. [Haha, blind jokes.]

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[sniffdeceit]

My blindness doesn't make me invisible to others, Dave!

Though that would be a particularly amazing super power that I would take full advantage of.

[She grins.]Yep, that's definitely the Dave I know. I can smell your delicious cherryness from here.

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[knightime]

We both know you'd use it so you can sit in rooms where people are changing or go into their showers to smell them. Shit, let's hope you never get the ability to become invisible. I'd never feel safe again.

Damn right you better smell me as who I am. I'd be offended otherwise.

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[sniffdeceit]

[She laughs.]

You never would be safe! My sniffer would be everywhere.

Especially since you're one of the most pleasant things to smell in this whole dome. I'd never miss it and leave you offended!

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[knightime]

Well, it's hard, but I happen to be the closest thing to perfect. I mean, if I'm easy on the eyes, I guess I must be easy on the nose too. I'm sure my velvety voice nearly has you swooning all the time.

[He just gives her a grin.]

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[sniffdeceit]

Even as I stand here, it's hard to keep myself upright with all these constant urges to swoon! Such power is a fearsome thing, Dave!

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[knightime]

Shit, you don't even have to worry about it. You got me right here and any swooning will be caught by these handsome arms. [They're so gross.] If I could turn my swag off, I would. It just can't be contained, unfortunately.

action

[sniffdeceit]

Oh Dave!

[She mock-swoons. Best be using those handsome arms, bro.]

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[knightime]

[He will use those totally handsome arms to catch her. Heck yes, gotta make sure she's unscathed. Can't have her falling when she's expecting some strong Strider arms to catch her.]

Weak ankles? Achilles doesn't know how easy he had it man.

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[sniffdeceit]

Your human legends are silly. If it had been a troll, he could have been dangled by a horn! Then, if it ever broke off he could just grow another one.

[He gets a little peck on the cheek for his smooth catch.]

action

[knightime]

He was supposed to be a mortal dude who was badass, but still mortal. I mean, Zeus did weird shit like turn himself into animals and did the dirty with unsuspecting girls because he was fucking Zeus. [Terezi will just have a skewed view of human legends from Dave.]

If he could just get right back up, then it wouldn't be as deep or insightful or whatever.

[Heck yes. He got a kiss. Best day.]

action

[sniffdeceit]

It would be plenty deep and insightful! It would be a lesson on how to make your hero an effective badass rather than just a temporary one. Who wouldn't want to hear that?

The flaw is when he eventually realizes that everyone being afraid of him leaves him lonely and miserable. See? Or he just beats the shit out of everyone until he eventually dies of old age. A perfectly entertaining story.

action

[knightime]

Well, his story was supposed to be unfortunate because he dies at the end or whatever.

I didn't make it up. Blame the Greeks or whoever decided to make the story about Achilles. There's probably some legend or story you'll like. Maybe Achilles isn't for you.

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[sniffdeceit]

I will dig through your human archives for a story of suitable depth and intrigue, then!

Also to search for more troll counterparts, because those always end up the most strange.

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[knightime]

Dude, that's always really weird. I'm surprised you guys don't have a Troll Nic Cage or whatever.

Or maybe you do and just don't have Troll Con Air. I don't know.

On the upside, it might have slightly saved Karkat's tastes just a little.

action

[sniffdeceit]

Karkat's tastes are beyond saving. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better off you'll be.

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[knightime]

It could be worst, Terezi. It really could be. Like, we shittalk his tastes but then we realize how much better they are than they could actually be.

He's still a lost cause though.