[Appearing on screen is a troll, grey-skinned and scowling, utterly unamused as he holds up a tan choker with a heart design. Guess who Sandy Claws visited?]

Thank you, Vatheon, for this pointless and utterly useless gift. This is definitely what I wanted, and you have outdone yourself in practice of earth holidays. I actually liked the stupid lobster until it went and left me this piece of crap.

But if other posts and personal discovery have told me anything, things have been lost and sent where they don't belong. So, I'll make the guess that this thing actually belongs to someone, which is the one saving grace to stop me from throwing it out with the trash. You're welcome.

... On that same subject, though.

[He shifts, coughs.]

If anyone has a--it should look like a crab monster, okay? This white crab thing, a completely badass one. If you have it, just contact me in private and I'll come get it, alright?

_{[ We first hear an audio clip. A kid's voice, but it sounds really muffled. It's also carrying a very odd accent that sounds like it should be Australian, but it sort of wavers inconsistently. Holy shit, what was going on. ]}

I say! Confounded contraption! Where the devil shitting dickens is--

<sub>[ Oh. The feed flickers on to video. Guess who took their brochure and threw it out the window. Yeah, this guy here. He's too busy plunging into action to stop and read anything. But this kid, right. He looks sort of like a young teenager but it's hard to tell cause there's a mask covering his face. Looks like he's in a soaking wet bow tie and grey tailcoat too. If one looked hard enough, they might have caught a glimpse of his solid gold Berettas he has there. He takes a deep breath (he already sort of sounds out of breath anyway.) The device shifts around until he's holding it above his head, like some weird hipster mySpace shot before making a frustrated sound. The device is tousled around again, and we get a nice shot of his legs.

Hello, legs. You're look particularly hairy and muscular today. Wait, what's happening now. He's cursing quietly and then everything shuts off. There's a long pause before the recipients receive a text. ]</sub>

Gadzooks this really isnt flashy at all where is the ahha eureka ive found it!!
My dearest apologies but i feel the need to announce my presence in this sort of manner lest i get anxious of having an actual camera set on me!!!

ALRIGHT!!!! SO THEN!!! Is it safe to remove this mask then!? Is this all part of the game??? All a part of the plan and what have it?? By jove im not going to very well take this off if there is still danger afoot! Where the hell is this anyway??? Have i plunged into atlantis?
Jesus christmas i certainly hope so!

Okay im getting off on a bunny trail here!!

STRIDER!!!!
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!
ARE WE COMPLETELY DONE BLOWING THE BALONEY OUT OF THOSE SKELETONS!?

_{[[ ooc; a little change in what he's arriving in then what i stated, ahhh. also, i'm gonna have to get most of the tags after work so i'll get them tonight. o7 ]]}

[John has laid down to sleep at such an odd hour of the day. An overwhelming sense of tired had fallen upon him, and he curled up. His SFC has become a DREAMBERRY with the support of broadcasting this dream to the public.]


( Cut here to go to Prospit! )


((ooc note: I have set this on Prospit and it's moon if you have a character that would like to dreamwalk into his dream. They can interact here and everything! If you are a Homestuck character, and your character is canonly a Derse dreamer, then they may enter his dream in the purple clothing! Post in your subject 'Dreamwalking' or 'Video / Text / Voice' So I know whether or not John is still asleep for your thread or not.))

[ Jade is not amused. Lookit her just standing there, dripping eat. Her little dog ears are flattened back against her head and everything. She is standing right where this place dropped her. It appears to be some kind of park area. ]

Okay, I am pretty sure I am not where I should be right now. Ugh...

[ Insert Wizard of Oz joke here.

Okay. Change of plans. Mode switch. ]

hello??
can somebody tell me what the heck is going on right now????

So it's occurred to me that for some reason, these houses have garages. Does anyone even drive here much less own a car to actually use these other then for storage? Not that I'm complaining. It just means I get to turn the garage into a dark room. Here I was worrying how I was going to have to eventually explain why one of the bathtubs smells strongly of chemicals and why using it might cause a peculiar feeling close to chemical burns. Now both the bathrooms are user friendly and safe while I potentially make the garage the most dangerous place in this entire house. If you aren't counting Game versus the kitchen.

[Dave's sitting in his room. There's a bunch of wires hanging all over the ceiling with photos hanging from them with clothespins.

Actually, Dave's room looks like a complete mess.] By the way, if I took your photo without your consent, I'm probably not sorry or I probably did it by accident. But mostly, I just wanted to throw that out there for future reference that I am heavily armed with a pretty bitchin' camera and enough film to sleep in, and I'm still not sorry. Should feel pretty special anyways. It's not very often you accidentally get your photo taken by Dave fucking Strider.

Anyways, I'm outtie. Film to waste and develop. Too much time to kill. You know the drill.