[Video]

[thekidsare0kay]

[When the video turns on, you may behold a sight that probably will never be seen again in the history of anywhere.

Sollux is flexing. And he actually has muscles.

Though thankfully he's wearing at least some clothing.]

Okay, so I've been doing some quests with FF and it's fun but she's gone off somewhere and now I'm bored.

Who wants to come and help me punch things?

Comments

[thekidsare0kay]

If Arty wants me suckling at his teat, he will have to stay disappointed. It's nothing personal or anything.

No, I haven't tried it, but I guarantee it's gross.

[aim_exorable]

I would milk it out and serve it to you in a glass, stop being childish.

I can guarantee you're wrong.

[thekidsare0kay]

I'm not being childish. I just don't relish drinking something that was squeezed from inside a hairy mammal.

[aim_exorable]

I hope you realize that most food can sound incredibly disgusting if you think too long on the process by which it is made.

You know, my lusus had me drink musclebeast milk straight from the source when I was a child, and I came out perfectly fine!

[thekidsare0kay]

Actually I could debate that!

[Wow, he's really serious about this. He groans.]

Are you really talking about me drinking this swill right NOW?

[aim_exorable]

...That is incredibly rude.

[Also true but.]

Well not now although it would be best to prove this as soon as possibly and, from your point of view, get it over with.

[thekidsare0kay]

[This curse is nearly over - or so he thinks - but that doesn't mean that Darkleer will let up on this. In fact, when he's skinny again tomorrow, it'll probably be even worse, unless he nips this in the bud]

Fine, fine, okay. Come on over. I'm at the inn.

[aim_exorable]

Excellent. We shall be there momentarily.

[And off they go! Sollux will be able to hear Arty's STRONG hoofsteps before Darkleer knocks on his door, ten minutes later.]

[thekidsare0kay]

[Sollux isn't as stupidly strong as Equius or Darkleer, so he's able to open the door without destroying it. He steps back, his muscles bunching a bit as he hunches]

If I get fur stuck in my teeth I blame you.

[aim_exorable]

Arty is very well groomed.

[Seriously. Look at that fine mustache. Look at it. Darkleer and his new best friend step inside. Oh, what's this? Is Arty holding a glass? Guess what that's going to be used for.]

Besides, I told you that you do not have to drink directly from his udder. We have class.

[That's totally what this is. Class.]

[thekidsare0kay]

Class. Right. Nice to meet you, Arty.

[He nods to the musclebeast, then folds his bulging arms across his equally bulging chest and raises an eyebrow at the older troll]

Show me this class.

[aim_exorable]

[Arty gives a polite bow, beaming at Sollux.]

Very well then. Please hold on for one moment.

[Taking the glass, he kneels down by Arty's udder and places it just so. Then he takes those udders in his hands and... starts to pump and squeeze... That- that sure is milk squirting out and squirting into the glass. Yep.]

[It's a little less creepy with how content Arty and Darkleer are looking, right?]

[thekidsare0kay]

[No, no that's not less creepy. Sollux watches for a bit, then groans and looks away]

Oh my god, why is this my life?

[aim_exorable]

What, what's wrong?

[At least Darkleer finally finishes up, now possessing a glass full of delicious musclebeast milk. Getting up, he just holds it out to Sollux.]

Here you go. You'll feel much better after drinking this, I assure you.

[thekidsare0kay]

[Sollux stares at the white, warm, frothy substance like Darkleer had stuck a bug under his nose. Except that he'd probably have eaten a bug, since trolls don't seem to have an issue with those]

If I throw up, it's your fault.

[aim_exorable]

If you throw up, you will just have a natural bodily aversion to any kind of dairy product or you were sick to begin with.

Now hush and drink your milk.

[thekidsare0kay]

Or it was disgusting.

[He sighs and takes the glass and makes a show of making a face as he sucks it down in one long chug.

He wipes his mouth and grimaces, but doesn't actually break the glass. He has to admit, it's...invigorating.]

...Not bad.

[aim_exorable]

[Darkleer just waits expectantly as Sollux drinks, his arms crossed. When the verdict is finally given out, he looks smug. Arty just looks overjoyed.]

I told you.

[thekidsare0kay]

It's disgusting! [He's stubborn and hates the look of smugness on a highblood's face] But it didn't actually make me vomit, that's all.

[aim_exorable]

You said it "wasn't bad". That doesn't register as a synonym for 'disgusting'.

[thekidsare0kay]

[Still scowling] I was trying to be polite, since Arty's here and all.

[aim_exorable]

You can be honest, everyone knows it is delicious.

[Arty at least seems to appreciate the thought, because he's smiling more at Sollux.]

[thekidsare0kay]

[Doubtful] Who's everyone?

[aim_exorable]

...Equius. Myself. I know the innkeeper is rather fond of it.

[thekidsare0kay]

So... blue bloods, who are pretty weird as we know. And the Innkeeper, who I think is just trolling us.