John Egbert | ectoBiologist (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cakesaretheenemy) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
caughtinanetwork2012-02-06 08:58 pm
cakesaretheenemy) wrote in caughtinanetwork2012-02-06 08:58 pm
Entry tags:
[video]
[ When the feed begins, it shows John (Aunt Nancy Anansi) perched on a tree branch, legs crossed. His six, spider arms are idly juggling six, round objects -- apples, a crystal ball, etc. It was yours???? Well, it's John's now. What's holding his SFC? ....Webs. Well, okay then. ]
Hey guys! I am totally a gross spider now, haha. Anyway, does anyone here know why nothing grows in the winter? No?
Well, I do. Because I have aaaaaaaall the stories. All of them! I almost had all the wisdom too but, well, that is a story for another time.
Anyway, here I go.
Once upon a time, the Winter time used to be no different from Spring. Sure, snowflakes would still fall and the land would still be coated by miles of frost during this season, but the flowers and the trees still thrived and grew. Everybody still feasted during Winter, and all was well.
This was because Lady Harvest, dear Lady Harvest -- she's lovely you'll love her -- sang to the crops every night. She had such a magnificent voice that the plants would forget their chill and sleep under her guidance.
Now, as kind and benevolent as Lady Harvest was, she still made all creatures, human and animal, promise that they would only harvest enough to satisfy their hunger; she was, after all, just one deity and she couldn't possibly keep up with the demands of the whole world everyday if they were going to be greedy!
Everybody promised.
But some lied through their teeth.
One of the liars, surprise surprise, was me. Hey, she had a lot of delicious potatoes, could you blame me?
I did not want Lady Harvest to think ill of me though, so I devised a cunning plan!
During the late afternoon, before Lady Harvest sang and after everybody reclined back to their houses, I approached Brother Tiger. Brother Tiger and I have never been in the best terms, but the good favors I did him outweighed the malicious ones, so he did not pounce me. He asked me, "John, what is it that you want now?"
"I'm hurt, Brother Tiger. Why do you always assume I'm up to something?" I crawl up next to Brother Tiger and I ask him, "So why do you, proud king of the jungle, have the same rights as a common spider like me? Everyday during Winter, when I take one potato, you also take one potato! Excuse me, but shouldn't you be taking ten potatoes?"
Brother Tiger, with his mind clouded in fury that he even forgot his dislike of potatoes, ran to where Lady Harvest was singing. He roared and he roared at her that Lady Harvest was so shocked, she stopped singing to the crops. While the plants shivered and cried, I made myself a net from my spider webs and hurried them away. When Lady Harvest turned around, there were no more crops to sing to!
During these moments, Lady Harvest began to doubt herself. She wondered if she weren't strong enough for the plants, and since she had neither friends nor family, nobody was there to invalidate her insecurities -- so she ran away to the kingdom of God, never to be seen again.
That night, I feasted with my friends until we couldn't take another more bite. But there was TOO much food that we couldn't possibly eat them all, a world's worth of food, so they rotted away. From those days onward, Lady Harvest never returned, so all the plants shivered and died.
And now you know why nothing grows in Winter anymore!
Hey guys! I am totally a gross spider now, haha. Anyway, does anyone here know why nothing grows in the winter? No?
Well, I do. Because I have aaaaaaaall the stories. All of them! I almost had all the wisdom too but, well, that is a story for another time.
Anyway, here I go.
Once upon a time, the Winter time used to be no different from Spring. Sure, snowflakes would still fall and the land would still be coated by miles of frost during this season, but the flowers and the trees still thrived and grew. Everybody still feasted during Winter, and all was well.
This was because Lady Harvest, dear Lady Harvest -- she's lovely you'll love her -- sang to the crops every night. She had such a magnificent voice that the plants would forget their chill and sleep under her guidance.
Now, as kind and benevolent as Lady Harvest was, she still made all creatures, human and animal, promise that they would only harvest enough to satisfy their hunger; she was, after all, just one deity and she couldn't possibly keep up with the demands of the whole world everyday if they were going to be greedy!
Everybody promised.
But some lied through their teeth.
One of the liars, surprise surprise, was me. Hey, she had a lot of delicious potatoes, could you blame me?
I did not want Lady Harvest to think ill of me though, so I devised a cunning plan!
During the late afternoon, before Lady Harvest sang and after everybody reclined back to their houses, I approached Brother Tiger. Brother Tiger and I have never been in the best terms, but the good favors I did him outweighed the malicious ones, so he did not pounce me. He asked me, "John, what is it that you want now?"
"I'm hurt, Brother Tiger. Why do you always assume I'm up to something?" I crawl up next to Brother Tiger and I ask him, "So why do you, proud king of the jungle, have the same rights as a common spider like me? Everyday during Winter, when I take one potato, you also take one potato! Excuse me, but shouldn't you be taking ten potatoes?"
Brother Tiger, with his mind clouded in fury that he even forgot his dislike of potatoes, ran to where Lady Harvest was singing. He roared and he roared at her that Lady Harvest was so shocked, she stopped singing to the crops. While the plants shivered and cried, I made myself a net from my spider webs and hurried them away. When Lady Harvest turned around, there were no more crops to sing to!
During these moments, Lady Harvest began to doubt herself. She wondered if she weren't strong enough for the plants, and since she had neither friends nor family, nobody was there to invalidate her insecurities -- so she ran away to the kingdom of God, never to be seen again.
That night, I feasted with my friends until we couldn't take another more bite. But there was TOO much food that we couldn't possibly eat them all, a world's worth of food, so they rotted away. From those days onward, Lady Harvest never returned, so all the plants shivered and died.
And now you know why nothing grows in Winter anymore!
[Action]
Telling him this was an incredibly bad idea. Like, John totally has a girlfriend. Who's here. What are you doing Dave? Other then being stupid.]
Uh huh. And that's all you really wanted I'm guessing.
[Action]
Uhhhhh.
[Action]
That sure was an intelligent reply.
[Action]
[ He looks away. ]
...Sorry. I wasn't... thinking.
We can chalk that up to harmless homo bro experimentation if you want.
[Action]
How about we try and not make this a big deal. I rather not have our broship be awkward as fuck. I also don't want your girlfriend potentially ending me for macking on her spider boyfriend. I can never be too sure with troll romance being crazy confusing most of the time.
[Action]
[ There is a cautionary tale somewhere in all of this but -- okay, no, be John first. John. ]
If I do anything stupid, please spray me with water. Consequences and being a trickster god doesn't really mix all that well.
[Action]
[Long pause...] Sooo...yeah. We're moving on from this faster then a jack rabbit in the summer heat.
[Action]
[Action]
[What do you say in a situation like this?!]
[Action]
[Action]
Thanks for the...apple. Yep.
[Action]