[ VIDEO ] - [ Hydrogen ]

[goodnightsweetprince]

[ Well, if you didn't want to see a close-up of Prince Gumball's pink orchid face for the opening of this video then today is not your lucky day. After exploring the extent of his little pink amaranth iStarfish, figuring out its purpose, trying to get it to play techno music and dying in the first level of a game he found on it, he decided to use it to communicate.

However, he pressed record too quickly and started the video prematurely. After a moment, he pulled it away so the network can be greeted with a more normal shot.

Generally, when Gumball finds himself kidnapped or in another dimension or possessed, Fionna is efficient and heroic enough to save him within a reasonable timeframe. This time, it's been a while so he decides to take matters into his own hands to see what the hold-up is.

He is also feeling a little extra impatient given how...wet the current location is and how his pink salmon rainboots are nowhere in sight. ]

Greetings, citizens of Vatheon! My name is Prince Gumball of the Candy Kingdom. Though my stay thus far has been nice-- [ and he thinks that's being kind ]-- I worry about my subjects back home and their low tolerance for stress. If you could be so kind as to direct me to your nearest ship port or best place to create a wormhole back home, I would be delightfully grateful. Ideally, I'd like to return on the morrow but if one is not available, my previous requests are sufficient.

[ He holds up a wet and sandy towel between his pinched fingers. ]

Also, is there a towel butler around? I'd like to receive a new towel at your soonest convenience, I dropped mine.

Comments

[VIDEO]

[goodnightsweetprince]

[ Too late, he's already being judged silently. ]

I think they'd appreciate a proper burial more than rotting in the open. Plus, the living would not have to deal with the unpleasant smell of decomposition and decay.

You'd be excused from addressing me as anything if it would cause me to be guilty of manslaughter.

[ His kingdom for a puppy or a baby or something equally sweet. ]

[VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

Have some cultural sensitivity, douchebag. I don't care what weird ceremonies you observe; what I described is the norm for trolls.

[Karkat's more like a grumpy stray cat.]

I said I'm not going to die at this point. But why would you even make a kingdom out of candy in the first place?

[VIDEO]

[goodnightsweetprince]

[ Oh he's a TROLL. It all makes sense now. Gumball regrets that he probably has been a little culturally insensitive and he was unaware of most of their customs.

But then again, trolls are mean and cruel and kind of deserve any/all discrimination so he doesn't feel too badly. But, for the sake of diplomacy, he apologizes anyway. ]

My apologies, Karkat the Troll.

If I explained to you the history of the Candy Kingdom, would I be subjected to another rage strike? Or should I just say it's because it was a prominent resource to the candy people at the time?

[VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

[He would argue a few things there, firstly about that manner of address, but Percy has just alerted him to a more pressing concern.]

You're made of bubblegum?!

[He might get to the other stuff after. Possibly. Maybe.]

[VIDEO]

[goodnightsweetprince]

[ Sweet merciful hazelnuts!

WHAT DID HE DO NOW?? ]

I'm highly certain we already covered this!

[VIDEO] (1/2)

[bethehugejerk]

[He didn't realize the name was literal! But with that phrasing serving as well as a confirmation, Karkat does two things. First, he stands up.]

[VIDEO] (2/2)

[bethehugejerk]

[And then he flips a table.]

RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

[The camera lands somewhere several feet away.]

[VIDEO] 1/2

[goodnightsweetprince]

[ Gumball nearly throws his starfish in shock upon this reaction.

For a moment, he stops. Clutching his heart and staring at the screen. ]

[VIDEO]

[goodnightsweetprince]

Alas poor Karkat, we knew him...kind of well. Ashes to--

Oh wait.

We'll just leave him there.

[ And perhaps perform an autopsy later. ]

[VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

[His eyelid is doing the twitchy thing again when he answers, a few minutes later.]

I'm not fucking dead, you rotpanned moron!

[VIDEO]

[goodnightsweetprince]

[ Darn...

I MEAN... ]

Let's form a truce?

[VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

[He glares a good moment longer, then:]

Tell me all the weird shit about candy people right now, so we can get this over with. I adamantly refuse to deal with these nuclear bombs of what-the-hell every five minutes, and there is only so much furniture I can destroy in this hive before I take my rage out on the walls themselves.

[VIDEO]

[goodnightsweetprince]

Everything?

I think you know everything unusual at this point! I'm sure you trolls have your share of weird shizziness too.

[ Hopefully no other things will arise later. ]

[VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

Are you positive? Nothing weirder than you abominations to sense and decency exploding at the hint of stress? Nothing more mind-boggling than people made of literal candy? Are you positive, in your glucose-pumping vascular system, if you even have one, that you have told me all there is that might set off my bile sack about your kingdom?

And our weirdness makes sense, thanks.

[VIDEO]

[goodnightsweetprince]

We like to party?

[ ...surely that isn't weird. ]

[VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

... [Huff.]

No, that's not weird. Just don't try to drag me into it and we have a deal on the truce.

[VIDEO]

[goodnightsweetprince]

Then I will postpone the party to celebrate the union between trolls and candy people for a time when you are not around.

Or just simply not invite you.

[VIDEO] threadjacks upon threadjacks, the eternal dance has begun

[420]

[Gamzee isn't even really majorly bothered, like, fuck Karkat is fine. That wasn't even a big tantrum. That table only flipped three times. That ain't nothing, man.

Still, a moirail's duty is never ending!]

Hey man, maybe if you all like take a few motherfuckin' deep breaths, aight?

[VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

Gamzee. Gamzee. He's made of bubblegum. Fucking bubblegum!

[Those are not deep breaths. They sound more like snarls, really.]

[VIDEO]

[420]

[Don't make him come over and purposely stroke your hair all tender like and shit. You know he will. Possibly even pat a cheek.]

Yeah? What flavour?

[VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

[And another minute later, a kicked-over chair has joined the carnage.]

How in the name of the Mother Grub's rotting seedflap should I know?! Go ask that Percy kid, he's the weirdo who wants to taste him.

[VIDEO]

[420]

[That does not sound weird to Gamzee at all. How can you find out about candy people and not kinda want to taste them a little? Perhaps it is you who is the weirdo here, Karkat.]

Just makes a bro get his motherfuckin' wonder on at it all, you know? Gets all his curiosity working at the fact like... what would you fuckin' taste like if you were all made of motherfuckin' bubblegum? Have you ever got to thinkin' on that my brother? Like woah.

[Spoiler: Gamzee is Faygo flavoured. All of the Faygo flavours. It is him.]

[VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

No. Never ask me that question. Never even speak to me about bubblegum again, for at least this whole week.

[He's still irritable, and there's a lamp in the corner that's looking pretty overturnable right now.]

[VIDEO]

[420]

Aight, sure, bro.

[Give him half an hour before he'll be babbling at Karkat about the best gumball flavours for all their friends. Where is Terezi when you need her?]

You maybe gonna chill a lil' now, best friend? You lookin' all tense like you're being fit to motherfuckin' lose the entirety of your fuckin' cool at a motherfucker. Even got your ganderbulb coverflaps up and doing the motherfuckin' twitchy thing and shit.

[VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

[Karkat is cherry, of course. He will forever be cherry.]

[But, okay, Gamzee's doing the moirail thing again. Karkat's shoulders ease a bit, and he makes himself take a breath. He thought he could feel his eyelid doing the thing before.]

I just--

Candy people. It's bizarre, and it violates all common sense, and--

[... Sigh. He doesn't even need to look around to realize the state the room's in.]

Okay, okay, maybe I do need to calm down a little.