caughtinanetwork | [ VIDEO ]

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[ VIDEO ] - [ Hydrogen ]

[ Well, if you didn't want to see a close-up of Prince Gumball's ~~pink~~ orchid face for the opening of this video then today is not your lucky day. After exploring the extent of his little ~~pink~~ amaranth iStarfish, figuring out its purpose, trying to get it to play techno music and dying in the first level of a game he found on it, he decided to use it to communicate.

However, he pressed record too quickly and started the video prematurely. After a moment, he pulled it away so the network can be greeted with a more normal shot.

Generally, when Gumball finds himself kidnapped or in another dimension or possessed, Fionna is efficient and heroic enough to save him within a reasonable timeframe. This time, it's been a while so he decides to take matters into his own hands to see what the hold-up is.

He is also feeling a little extra impatient given how...wet the current location is and how his ~~pink~~ salmon rainboots are nowhere in sight. ]

Greetings, citizens of Vatheon! My name is Prince Gumball of the Candy Kingdom. Though my stay thus far has been nice-- [ and he thinks that's being kind ]-- I worry about my subjects back home and their low tolerance for stress. If you could be so kind as to direct me to your nearest ship port or best place to create a wormhole back home, I would be delightfully grateful. Ideally, I'd like to return on the morrow but if one is not available, my previous requests are sufficient.

[ He holds up a wet and sandy towel between his pinched fingers. ]

Also, is there a towel butler around? I'd like to receive a new towel at your soonest convenience, I dropped mine.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He's not NOT interested in troll romance but his notes on that one halted when the creation of the earth subject came up.

Though he'd like to do some trial and error troll romance experiments with Karkat because he's weird and awkward like that. ]

Do you like to eat sweets or do trolls eat different and more bitter or foul things?

[ He looks at his notes in the sand. ]

I'll take a picture of them and they'll be eternal!

Y-

Yes, we eat sweet things.

[His head is outright tilted to the side now.]

But what does that have to do with this? I'm not going to eat you, or any other sugar person who shows up.

That's still a stupid way to take notes.

[ He laughs that off jovially. ]

I wasn't worried about you eating me! I just wanted to know if candy was something you didn't like since you seem so against it. I would think that the idea of an entire kingdom made of deliciousness would skronk up your frown.

I'd take notes a bit more efficiently if I had something to write with.

Edited 2013-05-12 00:22 (UTC)

Skronk isn't a word, numbglobes. It's not a hatred for candy that bothers me about your kingdom; it's the sheer violation of logic as I understood it until this day. I still don't get it. I never will get it. How does candy just animate itself into living, breathing people?

It's as much a word as numbglobes is.

Shall we create a sweets-animating potion and perform an experiment so that I can prove it to you? It might take a few tries but I'm positive I can create it! I'll even let you choose what we bring to life if you want. Do you like creampuffs? I have a delicious recipe that always tastes excellent, I'm sure they'll behave excellent too!

NO!

I mean, yes I like creampuffs, but no I don't want you animating them to prove it. Keep your potions away from my food, and away from any otherwise non-living sweets that might come my way, understand? I want to eat things that are dead and inanimate, not made living when they generally aren't supposed to be, at least by my perspective.

Also, numbglobes is a perfectly good word. It's composed of two existent words and its intent is clearly insulting, which is what I'm going for. What is skronk supposed to mean? You made that up.

[ ARGH!! That was an uncalled for reaction! Just like...all of his reactions. ]

Fine. I don't need your permission to create life with science, I'll just do it myself. Maybe I'll name one Karkat Kareempuff and teach it some manners.

Look it up in the dictionary. The verb "to skronk". To thwart or ruin.

[Good job, Gumball, you made Karkat growl again. He flashes his fangs as he responds.]

If you animate a creampuff and name it after me, I will personally hunt down the abomination unto existence and smash it with my shoe so furiously the event will come to be known across the many expanses of reality as the Vast Stomp. Do you want to invite that, Gumball? Do you want to create life only for me to brutally crush it out?

I'm not going to look it up because it's not going to be in there!

[ He gasps at the uncaring and disrespect Karkat shows for his nonexistent creampuff child. How dare he. ]

I'll just have an army ready for Vast Stomp then. We'll prevent this creampuff massacre.

Don't be squeezily, of course it's there.

SQUEEZILY DOESN'T EVEN SOUND LIKE SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE USED THAT WAY.

[And after Gamzee took the care to calm him down, too.]

I don't care about the other creampuffs, and your head must be the proverbial bubble if you can't realize the point I'm making here. Keep your sugar-enlivening experiments away from me and don't name any of them after me, and I'll leave them be, but otherwise the catastrophe will be of your own heedless making.

It is kind of the colloquial way to say it. Perhaps I should speak more formally from now on to avoid frustrating you with words you don't approve of.

[ He needs to take the troll version of Midol. Mitrol. ]

Surely you of all people know you can't control the life you create. They may just approach you on their own.

[There goes the eye twitchy thing again.]

Making a whole universe is different than making a handful of sugar creatures, and if you can't grasp that fact I will formally give up on attempting intelligent conversation with you forever.

[ He knows it's different but it's still relatively the same thing. Karkat just thinks he's a special snowflake just because he created the universe. ]

Attempting formal conversation? I happen to be an expert on intelligent conversation and haven't seen you do that once, Karkat the Troll.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!

But what? Just because I get pissed off about a few things suddenly means intelligent conversation is beyond me? Or is it because I can come out any say it bluntly that you have your head stuffed up your own chewy hindquarters? Try yanking it out, Gumwad, because ire neither negates nor invalidates what I'm saying here, and I'm not going to sugarco--

Motherfucker.

I'm not going to make it all nice and gentle to make the impact on your fragile, saccharine ears easier to bear.

[ HE IS NOT USED TO BEING TALKED TO LIKE THIS!

But he tries not to show his pain, disdain, fear, loathing, Las Vegas and unhappiness with the way he is so disrespectfully being treated FOR NO REASON.

His first instinct is to just gasp but in the past, he's been known to get caught up in this and just gasp for about a minute straight. ]

You don't have to be nice and gentle, just take it a step down from name calling, talks of creampuff genocide, naughty language and hurtful insults.

And my hindquarters are not chewy, thank you very much. [ He works out more than THAT. ]

That's the same damn thing!

This is how I talk to absolutely everyone, no exceptions, least of all to the current douchebag riling my bile sack. So I will use language as shitsmearing nookstained bulgewhiffing fucking filthy as I damn well please, will insult you to my bloodpusher's content until you stop earning them, and keep threatening to murder your creampuffs until you agree, like I asked you to, to not make any named after me!

And you're made of gum. What else would they be?

[ Oh. ]

Is that what this is all about?

Very well. I will not name a creampuff after you.

Y-

You--

How--

HOW DID YOU NOT GET THAT UNTIL NOW?!

[ AND THE VOLUME GETS CRANKED DOWN A BIT.

Not my gumdrop eardrums... ]

Maybe I, along with most people in the world, respond better to sugar than to vinegar. Did you ever think of that?

[Karkat groans.]

Do not even use sugar idioms with me. And I just said, I talk that way to everyone, even the people I care about most. They deal with it! And I don't expect them to talk all clean and nice to me either.

[ There is a pause. He messed up the saying anyway and just realized it. But he's not about to retcon his error publicly because he's a prince.

He looks into the feed. ]

Der spinnt...

It definitely makes things interesting and perplexing.

[ In a good way? Not sure. But he won't say that out loud. ]

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