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[replicatedcourage]

 [Sola appears on the screen, face puffy and expression desolate. His eyes don't meet the camera as he speaks, low and halting.]

I just wanted to say, I'm really sorry for hurting anyone...

[He rubs his eyes with the back of his hand, sniffling a bit before continuing.]

You won't have to worry about me anymore. I-I won't bother anybody, so... just... forget me. It's better that way.

Zelda, especially, I-I'm sorry I'm not...

[He swallows hard, turning a little further away from the camera.]

I'm sorry I'm not him. I hope he finds you, and that you can be happy. I-I promise, he... he loves you very much.

[He sits there, back to the camera, for an interminable moment, sorrow plain in the hunch of his shoulders. With a small swallow, he turns off the feed.]

Comments

[420]

Ain't never no shit wrong with helping your bros out. They're being your peeps, right? The motherfuckers what all make sure you are the best motherfucker what you can all be.

But... why can't you be getting your glad on? Fuck, crack that shit at a motherfucker, give him the down low. Cause he ain't all be seeing no reason to not be getting your glad on.

[replicatedcourage]

[It takes Sola a bit to sift through what Gamzee's trying to say, but from what he can gather, the Troll is asking why he can't be happy.]

U-umm.. well... I'm... sort of in love with someone but they don't love me back and I don't think they can ever.

[Sola's shoulders sag and he looks down from the screen, long ears drooping.]

She's in love with someone else, and I look like him but I'm not, so really all I do is make her upset.

[420]

Ah, you're fielding the wicked crushing for some sister. Got your fuckin' pusher all pumping red for her.

[He understands! He has had an unanswered crush before. And an answered love now.]

Maybe it just all need some motherfuckin' time, you get? Gotta chill back and wait for miracles to all get their motherfuckin' happen on in this biznasty. Maybe she ain't all being your serendipity and there be some other bro out there what can get you to feeling those wicked red miracles together. Just cause she ain't love you back, ain't mean you can't all get your glad on none. Gotta your settle down on, maybe, crack some wicked elixir and see what magic life all be bringing you.

lmao Gamzee confuses Sola something fierce

[replicatedcourage]

[Judging by Sola's face, he really didn't understand a word of that, Gamzee.]

...what?

Status effect: confuse

[420]

What?

[God, that was pretty simple, right? Maybe he hadn't talked loud enough?

Oh shit, it must be because he used serendipity. That is such a troll term.]

Ah, fuck, when I was all done be saying 'Serendipity', I were meaning what motherfucker what all be meant for you like fuckin' miracles happening up in this bitch. That help?

Target Sola is confused!

[replicatedcourage]

What, like... a soul mate? Maybe? [Insert clueless blink here.]

people just need to make a 'Gamzee to english' dictionary

[420]

Yeah. Yeah, fuck I think that is all what it is for you bros.

lmao seriously.

[replicatedcourage]

I don't, ah...

["I don't have a soul" isn't exactly something he's comfortable saying out loud, but it's something he's fairly sure of and a point of shame. Ganondorf had told him as much, he's just a soulless shadow until he can get his hands on the Triforce of Courage and that would fix everything.

Only he can't. Not only is the Courage section not here in Vatheon, but Sola isn't even sure he wants it anymore. That won't make him into Link, if he could even steal it from the Hero somehow (Goddess knows he doesn't want to kill him anymore, then Zelda would hate him for eternity.).

It's hopeless. You have to have a soul to have a soul mate.]

I don't think that will work for me.

possibly with pictures.

[420]

Why?

[Everybody got soul mates! You just gotta find yours. He ain't even that much as a romantic like Karkat, but he believes in those kind of miracles.]

And a chapter on eleven million ways to use the word fuck!

[replicatedcourage]

Because. I don't really want to talk about it...

[Sola looks away from the camera again, rubbing his neck uncomfortably. He's likely to crack if Gamzee pushes again but Sola's fairly certain that the Troll can't or won't understand. Only Ion would.

Maybe Sola should talk to him about this, but he's afraid of worrying his roommate and friend yet again, especially with Ion's panicked cry at Sola flickering earlier fresh in his mind.]

It is the most versetile word

[420]

If you're sure, bro. Ain't good to all be keepin' shit bottled up like a shaked up faygo, but you gotta all be going with what feels right.

[replicatedcourage]

How do you know what feels right is right, though? I kissed her, I wanted to and it felt right, but after she was really upset and I-I know I shouldn't love her but that feels right too only it also doesn't because she can't love me like I love her.

[Sola takes a very deep breath after that outburst and turns from the camera, trying to get himself back under control. He'd thought he'd cried it out earlier with Signless but apparently his eyes were an unending producer of tears. All he could do was try and stem the tide with his sleeve.]

[420]

[It's okay. Gamzee won't say anything about a brother getting their cry on. He had done enough of that today too. Though, for some reason, focusing on Sola's questions takes the edge of the deep well of grief inside of him.]

Ain't no brother what done can tell you that shit. Every motherfucker all gotta get their figure on at what is right for themselves. But I ain't all think it is ever fuckin' wrong to love a motherfucker. Love is all being the most beautiful miracle down in this hood. To have a brother what makes you fuckin' feel that motherfuckin' special... even if they don't all feel those wicked feels for you, I ain't see what so motherfuckin' wrong about that.

[replicatedcourage]

Because if I show it she makes this.. face. Like it hurts. [He shakes his head.] I don't want to hurt her, that's the last thing I'd ever want to do ever!

[420]

Maybe just let it all gets its settle on down in your pump for a while? If the motherfuckin' miracles are true, they'll wait.

[replicatedcourage]

[Clueless blink.

You lost him again, Gamzee.]

[420]

Your pump?

[He points at his chest where a heart normally sits.]

You got a pump, right bro? Not that I am all getting up in my judging here if you ain't. That ain't fuckin' cool.

[All these weird aliens. Maybe some of them didn't have a heart! It is a valid concern!]

[replicatedcourage]

O-oh! My heart! Yes, I have one, ah... you mean, I should just let things settle down and see what happens?

[420]

Yeah. Crack yourself a wicked elixir and just chill back. Things will all turn out fine in the motherfuckin' end.

Like, I all got to feeling those feels for one of my motherfuckin' best sisters once. Got my glad on just to all fuckin' call her in my pan. And she didn't all feel those miracles for me none, but it was cool. I just got my settle down on, and eventually I done did find a bro who could all be returning all the red I got for him.

[replicatedcourage]

Uh, you mean... you liked someone who didn't like you before and then when you waited, you found someone else who loved you too?

[Maybe there's hope for Sola's deciphering Gamzee yet.]

But... didn't you still want to be with the girl? If you loved her, I mean.

[420]

I guess what I was all feeling up and flew away. It's cool. All I ever fuckin' wanted for her was to be the motherfuckin' happiest she done could be. And she was, I think. She had a bro she really dug too.

And I got my bro what I feel all that for. Ain't always the first peep you go gunning for what is your fuckin' serendipity. Don't mean they can't be all as important to you though.

[replicatedcourage]

It's just really hard. I don't know if I can love anyone else, I mean... she's...

[Wonderful? Beautiful? Smart? Perfect?]

...she's Zelda.

[420]

I hear ya. Just ain't let it rush, yeah? If the miracles a true, they are gonna be true. Just get your chill on until it all fuckin' does to be falling into place.

[replicatedcourage]

[...okay he has to ask.]

You keep using that word. What does that mean?

[420]

...which word?

[He uses a lot of words!]