(no subject)

[replicatedcourage]

 [Sola appears on the screen, face puffy and expression desolate. His eyes don't meet the camera as he speaks, low and halting.]

I just wanted to say, I'm really sorry for hurting anyone...

[He rubs his eyes with the back of his hand, sniffling a bit before continuing.]

You won't have to worry about me anymore. I-I won't bother anybody, so... just... forget me. It's better that way.

Zelda, especially, I-I'm sorry I'm not...

[He swallows hard, turning a little further away from the camera.]

I'm sorry I'm not him. I hope he finds you, and that you can be happy. I-I promise, he... he loves you very much.

[He sits there, back to the camera, for an interminable moment, sorrow plain in the hunch of his shoulders. With a small swallow, he turns off the feed.]

Comments

Voice

[a_violent_end]

[Shizuo has had a lot on his mind, maybe to the point of being a little self-absorbed, but this video pisses him off enough to make him respond. It's clear by his voice that he's irritated.]

Don't be stupid.

[Sola's pretty blunt himself, so Shizuo feels like he can level with him.]

[replicatedcourage]

[Sola doesn't even register that he's gotten a response. Sorry, Shizuo, but he's curled back up on the corner of his bed and not talking unless he has to. He's said what he needed to say.]

Voice

[a_violent_end]

[Shizuo waits for a response for a (short) period of time, and when it becomes apparent that Sola isn't responding (quick enough), he leaves one more message.]

Nobody wants you to disappear, not even Zelda, so you better cut the shit or I'll come after you with a bench, again.

[In other words, don't mope, there are people who care about you, Sola.]

[replicatedcourage]

[Nope, nothing. He's currently being held by Ion and can't come to the computer right now, though I guess so Shizuo it just seems like silence.]

Voice

[replicatedcourage]

[Hours later, Sola's calm enough to check the SFC, though there's still a sad undertone to his voice.]

Sorry. I'm okay now, so don't hit me with a bench, okay Shizuo?

Voice

[a_violent_end]

Fine.

[...]

I'm glad you feel better.

[Even if he still sounds sad, that's better than saying he's going to disappear.]

[Action]

[fonmaster]

[Almost immediately after Sola makes the post Ion bursts back into the room, out of breath. He'd ran home as fast as he could, understanding all too well that feeling of not living up to the original. He doesn't say anything, he just goes over to the bed and hugs Sola tightly.]

[Action]

[replicatedcourage]

[After posting his apology, all Sola wants to do is disappear. He doesn't belong here. He's supposed to be dead, isn't he? He died, but somehow woke up here and then everything was confusing and he isn't who he's supposed to be and...

and suddenly Ion's hugging him and the valiant effort he was making at not falling apart completely goes all to pieces. With a wrenching sob, Sola hides his face in the smaller boy's shoulder, unable to hold it back.]

[Action]

[fonmaster]

You're not a bother Sola, you're not...

[He strokes his hair and holds his head gently, rocking back and forth slightly. He knows that Sola probably doesn't hear his words right now so he just stays close, forcing his fellow replica to stay grounded in reality. Sola can't fade away, Ion will tether him to this world all by himself if he has to.]

[Action]

[replicatedcourage]

[Sola shudders, sobbing bitterly and beginning several words without being able to complete them. He shouldn't be here, not in Vatheon, not in Hyrule, not anywhere. He makes Ion worry, he can't wake Izaya up, he bothers Signless and Shizuo and everyone else with his ignorance and incomprehension. And worst of all...

Zelda's face after they'd kissed won't leave his mind. He'd stolen something from her, he knows that now, and he can't forgive himself for making her look like that, for causing her pain or distress.

It would be better if he was never created.]

[Action]

[fonmaster]

[Ion moves one of his hands down to rub Sola's back, murmuring to him quietly. He doesn't entirely expect Sola to respond, but he hopes that some of it will get through.]

You are a good person, and my dear friend. You and I... we can't be expected to be able to do what everyone else our apparent age can do, Sola. We were both created so recently in comparison. If we were born, we would still be in diapers.

Even so, you go out of your way to try and help people, don't you? I think that's wonderful. You've barely lived a life for yourself, and you still reach out to others. You will be come a fine man. So please... don't give up on yourself yet.

video;

[420]

[Gamzee doesn't even know Sola, but he sure does recognize that sort of feeling. But there hasn't been any news of mass-murders on the network, so it can't be that bad, right? Anyway, he hadn't been able to find the light without some help, so clearly this guy deserves that too.]


Hey, don't give up, yeah? Shit's gonna be fine, aight? You'll see.

[replicatedcourage]

[There's no response to Gamzee's video, at least... not yet. But the message clearly went through so he'll see it when he's able.]

[420]

[He's just gonna keep chatting.]

I know shit can get real fuckin' dark, and it can all being real motherfuckin' hard to get your sight on for what miracles there are. But just cause you ain't able to lay motherfuckin' gander on them, don't mean they ain't there.

And... and just cause you were harsh at your bros don't mean there ain't peeps there what wouldn't forgive you for that. S'long as you be real motherfuckin' careful of it not all getting its happen on again.

[replicatedcourage]

[Still no response. Seems like he was honest about not wanting to bother anyone.]

[420]

It's cool if you ain't wanna speak now. I get that a motherfucker sometimes all gets to be like that. But like... you ain't got me harsh at you, so if you ever wanna shoot the wicked shit with any bro, you just give me a ring, yeah?

private;

[withoutasign]

Oh, Sola, my friend...

[Signless' voice is soft and gentle.]

Can I come and see you?

[replicatedcourage]

[Even Signless, one who's counsel Sola has come to value more than anyone's, receives no reply.]

private;

[withoutasign]

[It's okay, he can work with this!]

This is one of the hardest parts about growing up, my friend... you don't always get what you want, and that hurts. Especially when it's something you want very badly. It feels like it will never be okay again, doesn't it?

But it will be, I promise. It just takes time, time where you have to be kind to yourself and let yourself heal. You're strong, you can move past this, I swear.

[replicatedcourage]

[...nothing. He's probably not even paying attention to the SFC. Or it could be worse than that.]

can Signless get Psii to hack Sola's location so he can come find him?

[withoutasign]

Sola? Come on, talk to me. Anything, just let me know you're there.

[Starting to get worried here...]

voice;

[p2iioniicii2t]

Child? Child, what are you thpeaking of?

[replicatedcourage]

[No response, though whether he can't or won't is open to interpretation.]

[p2iioniicii2t]

[ After a brief pause, hacking coordinates and matching them up to apartment addresses: ]

...Thola, I am going to require you to aid me with my beekeeping. What ith a good time for you?

[replicatedcourage]

[Still nothing. Apparently Sola doesn't understand that this sort of behavior just makes people worry more, not less.]