[text - and she forgot the anon part!]

[booyaka_boom]

Important - someone please bring sake and chocolate to the chocobo barn. Lots of it. Immediately.

Do not enter the barn. Leave it by the door.

*Not the usual kind of message from Selphie - she had meant for it to be anon, but given how utterly miserable she's feeling, she'd forgotten to turn on the button. So there's your text, Vatheon, from a girl who is suffering too much now that Aya has left the bubble*

Comments

[text]

[booyaka_boom]

And...

...I don't know. I'm too tired, too fed up...

[text]

[closedcircuit]

To what? To care?

You don't really get a choice over that. By making your heart hard you only hurt yourself more.

[text]

[booyaka_boom]

I don't know, Ky... Okay? I'm too fed up to think anymore. I don't know what you want me to say. Just...let me sit here and harden my heart if that's what you think's happening. I'm not hurting anyone else.

[text]

[closedcircuit]

You're hurting yourself.

Surely I'm allowed to care about that?

[text]

[booyaka_boom]

I don't know... do you?

[text]

[closedcircuit]

Yes.

[text]

[booyaka_boom]

Oh...


*Sorry Ky, that's all she can manage right now. She's just too tearful!*

[text]

[closedcircuit]

Are you by the barn? I can bring you some tea.

[text]

[booyaka_boom]

I'm in the barn. With the chocobos.

*She'd much rather have something stronger to drink...but she knows how he feels about that, so she's not even going to go there*

[text]

[closedcircuit]

*It seems to him like she almost wants or needs company more than drugs, and he's not good at that aspect of things but for her he can and will try. He can't know he'll fail unless he has, after all.

He knocks on the door to the barn carefully with his elbow, carrying a tea service on a tray in both his hands.*

Selphie?

[booyaka_boom]

*Sitting on the floor of the barn, Selphie is snuggled up next to a chocobo lying with its head on her knee. She glances up and rubs at her eyes, which are already red and puffy*

You can...just leave that on the floor..if you want..

[closedcircuit]

I brought enough for both of us.

*And he doesn't exactly plan to just drop it off and go.*

[booyaka_boom]

Oh...

*Selphie turns her face more towards him then, looking genuinely quite confused about the gesture. Still, she waves a hand, very slightly, vaguely towards somewhere near where she was sitting*

[closedcircuit]

*Ky sets the tea down between the two of them and then takes a seat as well, reaching for the pot and a cup to pour.

He's not sure what to say so for now he's silent, treating this like a sort of ritual.*

[booyaka_boom]

*Selphie does eventually sit up, rubbing at a puffy red eye with the back of her hand. She clears her throat, struggling to speak*

Why did you..bring this?

*She looks genuinely confused, like she really doesn't understand what seems to be a friendly act of kindness*

[closedcircuit]

I said I would.

*It's really just that simple, isn't it?*

[booyaka_boom]

Oh...Right...

*Selphie slowly drags herself to sit up straight, looking at him with wide, helpless eyes*

[closedcircuit]

*He hands her the cup, gesturing to the sugar and milk*

I hope you enjoy it.

*Then he pours his own.*

[booyaka_boom]

*Selphie proceeds to dump at least five spoonfuls of sugar into her tea cup and swirls it around with some milk. If she can't have alcohol, then she'll go with sugar*

Thanks, Ky.

[closedcircuit]

*He won't judge the sugar, at least.*

Do you want to talk about it, or something else?

OMG SORRY FOR LATE We can drop this if you want!!

[booyaka_boom]

*Selphie shrugs slightly as she takes a tentative sip of her tea*

I don't know... I don't know if talking about it is any use...

[closedcircuit]

There seems to be only one way to find out.

[booyaka_boom]

*Selphie took a moment or two to compose herself, swallowing hard on another sip of tea*

I just hate this place... I don't hate anything, but I do hate this place...

There's really no point, in meeting anyone, or loving anyone, if it's only going to be taken away...and to feel like this...

[closedcircuit]

Just because we lose doesn't mean the caring wasn't worth it.

That's the case...everywhere, not just here.

[Perhaps it's a bit hypocritical, given the distance Ky keeps from people, but on the other hand he's lost plenty of soldiers under his command, and he didn't ever want it to stop hurting.]

That feeling is how we know we're still alive, that having had them still mattered.

omg I didn't even see this! ignore if you want ;;

[booyaka_boom]

*Selphie sits up more to gulp down the tea, not caring that it's hot but needing the sugar*

I don't know. Does talking about it even help? It's not going to bring him back.