034 ♋ [TEXT]

[bethehugejerk]

[FILTERED AWAY FROM YUNO GASAI]

I'M ALIVE AGAIN.
I'M SURE A NUMBER OF YOU HAVE ALREADY HEARD IN ONE FASHION OR ANOTHER, OR FIGURED IT OUT FROM THE STANDARD TIME IT TAKES A PERSON TO REVIVE AFTER DEATH
(FOR THE RECORD: FIVE DAYS)
BUT CONSIDER THIS AN OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT TO ALL WHO DO NOT YET KNOW.
MAY I ALSO STATE FOR THE RECORD
*ERIDAN DID NOT KILL ME.*
SO LAY THE FUCK OFF BECAUSE HE HAD NO PART IN IT BUT FINDING ME AND REMOVING THE WEAPON.
WHILE I WILL NOT CONDONE A SENSELESS MANHUNT FOR THE CULPRIT
I WILL INFORM YOU OF HER IDENTITY AND WARN YOU TO WATCH OUT FOR HER PARTICULAR BRAND OF BATSHIT.
SHE'S A HUMAN BY THE NAME OF YUNO
LIVES ON FLOOR 2, APARTMENT 5 OF THE LARMLINE COMPLEX
AND HAS LONG PINK HAIR AND PINK EYES.
DO NOT TRUST HER EVEN WITH A COFFEE MUG.
DO NOT TRUST ANY SWEET ACT SHE PUTS ON.
IN FACT, DON'T TRUST HER IN GENERAL.
ALSO MAY YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION TO ASK ME DUMB QUESTIONS.
I AM NOT GOING TO DISH OUT GORY ACCOUNTS OF HOW I DIED, BECAUSE REALLY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
I WILL HOWEVER REQUEST AN UPDATE ON ANYTHING IMPORTANT I MISSED OVER THE PAST WEEK
BEING AS I COULD NOT KEEP AN EYE ON YOU MORONS ON ACCOUNT OF BEING A CORPSE.

[END FILTER]

[FILTERED TO THE HANDMAID]

I'VE REALIZED SOMETHING FROM THIS.
THE ISSUE ISN'T SO MUCH THAT I WANT YOU TO TRAIN ME
IT'S THAT I NEED TO LEARN.

[END FILTER]

Comments

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < karkat!!!
:33 < im so glad youre back
:33 < i dont think anything purrticularly impurrtant happened...
:33 < we were all just waiting fur you to come back
:33 < do you n33d anything??

[bethehugejerk]

NO, I DON'T NEED ANYTHING.
THINGS HAVE BEEN TAKEN CARE OF AS MUCH AS THEY CAN BE FOR NOW
AND THE REST
I DON'T KNOW, I'LL FIGURE IT OUT AS I GO.

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < okay
:33 < but tell us if there is anything we can do, alright??

:33 < uhmmm
:33 < i bought too many cupcakes fur my last teaparty
:33 < i can bring you the ones left over if you f33l like them
:33 < purrhaps you can share them with eridan??

[Somehow the 'left over' cupcakes are mysteriously a box full.]

[bethehugejerk]

IF SOMETHING COMES UP I WILL.
AND IF YOU WANT THEN SURE, I GUESS.
JUST PROMISE YOU WON'T SPREAD MY ADDRESS AROUND, GOT IT?

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < of course i wont!!
:33 < i promise

:33 < ...is eridan doing okay, karkat?

[bethehugejerk]

HE'S BETTER THAN HE WAS, AND HIS FACE IS HEALING
BUT EVERYTHING SUGGESTS THAT HE'LL STILL BE BLIND IN THAT EYE.

[bestestfurrend]

:(( < maybe equius can make him a new one?

[bethehugejerk]

THE DAY THAT HAPPENS I WILL SUFFER A SPONTANEOUS SECOND DEATH VIA EXPLOSIVE LAUGHTER.

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < ://???
:33 < i know equius doesnt like him but leave him to me

[bethehugejerk]

IT ALSO DEPENDS WHETHER ERIDAN WOULD EVEN WANT A REPLACEMENT FROM HIM.

[bestestfurrend]

:// < that something i cant do anything about
:33 < its his sight and its up to him

[bethehugejerk]

EXACTLY MY POINT.
I'M NOT ABOUT TO FORCE HIM ON THE ISSUE EITHER
NOT AFTER SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < no of course not

:33 < but ask him when hes doing a bit better
:33 < and if he decides he wants to then tell me furst so i can talk to equius about it

[bethehugejerk]

GOT IT.
I IMAGINE THE WOUND WILL NEED TO HEAL FIRST ANYWAY
NO REASON TO WORRY ABOUT TWO THINGS HEALING AT ONCE.

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < yes purrobably
:33 < i dont really understand how it works

:33 < anyway where do you want me to bring the cakes?

[TEXT, filtered] they're right across the street from Nepeta and Tavros, actually

[bethehugejerk]

[Filtering! Can't let just anyone see the address.]

PHANGA NEIGHBORHOOD, HOUSE TEN.
WE'RE A FEW DOWN FROM EQUIUS AND GAMZEE.

[TEXT, filtered] askjda OH BOY

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < but thats just in furont of us!!
X33 < were neighbours!!
:33 < ohhh this is purrfect h33h33
:33 < we can visit each other lots and lots!

[TEXT, filtered]

[bethehugejerk]

FIRST DEMYX, NOW YOU.
I ONLY EVEN PICKED THIS PLACE BECAUSE IT WAS NEAR GAMZEE AND FAR FROM YUNO.
JUST DON'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME OR I'LL STOP ANSWERING THE DOOR WHEN YOU COME KNOCKING.

[TEXT, filtered]

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < but living near furrends is fun :33
:33 < and besides a lot of us living close to each other can help k33p us all safer

:33 < and i wont i wont
:33 < ...how often is 'all the time'??

[TEXT, filtered]

[bethehugejerk]

NOT EVERY HOUR
NOT EVERY DAY
NOT EVEN EVERY OTHER DAY, WITHOUT SOME SERIOUSLY GOOD REASON.
I HAD ENOUGH DEALING WITH EVERYONE AT ONCE IN THE VEIL, I WANT TO CONTINUE TO ENJOY THE SPACE I GET HERE.

[TEXT, filtered]

[bestestfurrend]

:(( < *ac curls up into a ball and mewls sadly*
:(( < okay

[TEXT, filtered]

[bethehugejerk]

I DIDN'T SAY NEVER, ALRIGHT.

[TEXT, filtered]

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < yay okay!!! :DD
:33 < ill make sure to always bring something yummy when i visit
:33 < if that helps XPP

[TEXT, filtered]

[bethehugejerk]

WHY DO YOU KEEP TRYING TO BRIBE ME WITH FOOD, IT'S WEIRD.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

[TEXT, filtered]

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < but you like sw33ts dont you??
:33 < and i know sometimes im a bother to you so at least the food makes up fur it beclaws i dont mean to be...