caughtinanetwork | Sermon Two

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Sermon Two

[Signless has chosen his location carefully; when he turns on the video function, there's a wall of water behind him, and a school of brightly colored tropical fish swimming past. He's very clearly in the bubble again.]

My friends, today I want to talk to you about fear.

[His voice is low and soothing, his story-telling voice.]

I have known great fear in my time. In my world, the color of my blood was a source of fear, something that drove me into hiding for a long time. Then, when I dreamed of the world that could be, rather than the world that was, I was afraid again... afraid that I would never see what I knew we were capable of come to pass. I was afraid to speak out, afraid to make a ripple in the still, stagnant waters of our society, and tried instead to live my meager little life underneath the notice of the highbloods.

But then I saw what my silence was doing, what those in similar positions were suffering, and I knew I could not stay silent. I could not sit idly by while our world rotted away from its very core, while its corruption bled away the talents and very lives of so many trolls who had done nothing beyond being hatched the wrong color. I could not wait for another to come along and demand change, or I would wait the rest of my life. I needed to cast aside my fear, to find a reserve of strength within me, and rise to what my world needed me to be.

[His voice falls, becoming hushed and soft, almost painfully honest, and he looks down, his cloak hiding his eyes.]

I was terrified. Casting off fear is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Fear is something I knew, its cold comfort as familiar to me as my guardian's face. It would have been... easy to live my entire life in fear, I thought.

[He looks up then, and his eyes are burning, his voice strong once more.]

I thought that fear was a cloak to hide me, but it was a chain I wore around my neck. When the fear was gone, when I made the decision to cast it aside, I have never felt so free in my entire life. It was how I imagine it must feel to wake up one morning with wings, and look out the window into an endless sky. When the fear was gone, I could breathe a deep breath for the first time in my life, and look to the future not as an ominous, foreboding thing, but as a path bathed in light and redemption.

I am not afraid any longer, Vatheon. This is my home now, and it is worth fighting for. I will not be driven out of my home again. I will not let fear control me.

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[You know what's actually really nice? The nose rubbing is nice.]

Well, I aim to please.

So... Would you like to stay here a while longer?

[Nose rubbing, just another thing he's learned from animals, whoops.]

Let's... let's do whatever you want to do. [Smile.]

Very well...

[Tentatively, he gives a very small and unsure smile back.]

Then... Here. Just for a while longer.

[A small laugh before adjusting his legs a little, hands in his lap.]

Works for me.

[Pause.]

Tell me about your lusus.

[A rather quick question, smiling bright as he looks to Darkleer with a curious expression on his face.]

What?

[Such a quick, out of the blue question surprises him, and Darkleer is silent for a brief second.]

What brought this about?

Dural mentioned it not long ago. I had been wondering. He was a hoofbeast, like mine?

Well, I doubt exactly like yours...

He was a warhorse, of sorts.

Of course he's not, heh, there are so many different kinds of ungulates.

Ohh, heh, pretty fitting then. [A wide smile.]

I see that fitting you perfectly. Your lusus did well to choose you.

I'm quite glad he did.

[Something in Darkleer's expression seems to soften with the words and he reaches up briefly to lightly tug on the ends of his hair before his hand goes down again.]

He did well for me. Others are not so fortunate.

[Summoner scoots closer, legs crossed under him and hands go to replace where Darkleer's hand was just. He starts to lightly play with his hair as he listens, fingers grinding black strands between their pads.]

As it has always been with lusii. Did you spend a great deal of your life with him?

[There's just the softest tilt of his head to let Summoner know that the gesture is welcome. So much better like this, out here in the forest with his matesprit, then in a stiff restaurant with a troll he barely knows.]

Yes, actually. Some trolls do not prefer it... But-

[A pause. He hasn't told many people this. He really hasn't spoken much about it at all.]

I... did not deal with many others when I was very young. It was hard to imagine a life without him by my side.

[...Hey now... Watch it.]

Heh, I uh, I know the feeling. [A distant look.]

A lot of times, I think, nymphs only really spend time with their lusus... It's pretty normal. [Not to the extent Summoner did it, but still..]

Quite...

Although it wasn't just with my lusus. He needed to stretch his legs, of course, and I couldn't follow him everywhere. [Darkleer gives an awkward shrug.] I doubt you'd want to listen to dull stories from then, of course.

[Doubt he what? Sorry, watching you starry eyed.]

...What?

What?

You... were staring at me.

Yes? I'm waiting for you to keep going.

Not in a bad way, I simply...

[Yep, shutting up now and looking away in a flush.]

Is... there something in particular you wanted to know?

[Snickers, pushing close and tugging Darkleer's hair to get his face closer. More nose kissing before craning his neck up to press their foreheads together.]

You're relationship with him. I want to know about that part of your life.

I've never really explained it before, I'm not sure...

[But the constant touching is reassuring, and Darkleer takes a deep breath, abandoning his previous sentence and sorting out his thoughts.]

I admired him a great deal. I suppose that isn't too unusual. Even when I became an adult, I still felt quite small besides him, but it was never in a bad way. I suppose that doesn't make much sense, does it?

[Doot doot, running fingers through his hair because he totally can now without it being weird.]

[Even if it's still weird... pity is weird.]

Heh, yeah, I know how you feel about the small thing. It's nice to have a good relationship with your lusus.

But yeah, big in that, uh, protective, strong reassuring wall of an animal kind of way. A beast that's large size would comfort a weary troll instead of be threatening, because you knew his composure and mannerisms.

That's right. [Having someone understand is reassuring and Darkleer's smile is a bit more sturdy.]

It was a bit foolish, but I never stopped feeling... safe around him. Even when I joined the Archeradicators, he stayed by my side. I had to make something of a case for him- we're not like Cavalreapers, we don't usually use mounts.

Bows on horse back can be pretty nice though. A hella a pain to knock down.

[UH, SHOULD PROBABLY STOP AT THAT. Summoner is going to assume talking about the proper ways to kill Archeradicators is not a polite subject in this particular company...]

Uh, I'm happy you and your lusus were so close though? It's a really nice bond to have.

[Yeah, it really is wise to not talk about that. Especially considering some of the Archeradicators Darkleer knew back then could very well still be alive in Summoner's time.]

[And that would be a moodkiller to end all moodkillers.]

It is, and I am glad to have known it. I only wish I could have spent my time with him better.

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wow did not get this in my inbox at all 8|a

Whoops.

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