caughtinanetwork | 1 Time Loop ☼ Video

Entry tags:

1 Time Loop ☼ Video

[The first thing the video feed picks up is a ton of red feathers.]

Damn it! Get back here with that.

[There's some rustling before you see the face of a baby chocobo and Dave picking it up along with his communicator.]

Well, there you guys go. Dave fucking Strider got won out by this little feathery asshole. Said feathery asshole still doesn't have a name though, so this is where you guys come in.

Give me some good ol' name ideas and I might choose one to name him. As much as I love calling him feathery asshole, I don't think he really likes the name. And it would be fucking rude of me to keep calling him that. And it's kind of long anyways.

I had some names in mind, but calling him Bro would be really sappy and lame.

[He stops for a minute before talking as though he meant to say that.] Right. So give me your best shot. You'll probably see me around town with him by the way. [Dave ends the feed.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Worst romantic trainwreck???

You wouldn't fucking know amazing romance if it hit you in the fucking face, Karkat. Like when I watched a bucket fly into your face.

Oh fuck off! I know amazing romance just fine, regardless of what my traitor of a protein chute has let slip. You were--

Wait.

Wait, what?

[Picking the SFC back up now.]

Holy shit, I swear I will just tear my tongue off right now and never speak again.

Where the fuck are you on the timeline? Because I don't think I should be saying jack shit about it if you don't even know what I'm talking about.

I would tear my own out and--

Actually, let me switch to text.

THE LAST TIME I WAS IN THE VEIL, JOHN WAS ABOUT TO START THE SCRATCH.
I KNOW A LITTLE OF WHAT'S HAPPENED SINCE THEN SINCE I'VE TALKED TO JADE
SHE WENT DOG TIER, SHRUNK THE PLANETS DOWN WITH HER WEIRD SPACE POWERS, AND I'M NOT SURE WHAT ELSE.
JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS UP TO YOUR POINT SO I CAN STAY UP TO DATE ON THIS SHIT
SINCE I'VE BEEN KEEPING TRACK OF TIME POINTS FOR AS LONG AS I CAN FOR FLAT OUT ORGANIZATIONAL PURPOSES.

wow okay
lalonde and i met up with your little possy and shit
weve got the god tier threads like fucking bamfs
i think this might be likely due to the fact that we caused some explosion due to some crazy ass suicide mission
you guys are fucking nuts btw
oh then i guess space powers made a bucket appear and smacked you in the face
then you proceeded to freak the fuck out

WHAT THE FUCK.
WHY WOULD THAT EVEN HAPPEN.
HASN'T ANYONE HAD THE COURTESY TO INFORM YOU HUMANS NOT TO GO SLINGING THOSE AROUND?
LET ALONE SMACKING ME IN THE GODDAMN HEAD WITH ONE???
IT WAS MORE THAN ENOUGH THE TIME JOHN DUMPED A BUCKET ON MY HEAD!

MOTHER OF FUCK, TEXT ISN'T SAFE EITHER.

holy shit i am trying to not laugh my ass off at that
because im pretty sure it was egbert who threw the bucket so yeah
now you dont have to be surprised

GOD DAMNIT.
CAN WE JUST INSTATE A BAN ON ALL HUMAN-TROLL-BUCKET INTERACTIONS
FOREVER, NO CHANCE OF RECALL, THE END?

and ruin the fun???
i am completely against this ban
because then i cant leave buckets on your doorstep for shits and giggles

NO.
NO NO NO.
YOU ARE NOT PUTTING BUCKETS ON MY DOORSTEP, EVER.
SINCE THE BUCKTOOTHED RODENT IS OUT OF THE UGLY HEADGEAR, LET IT BE KNOWN THAT PAST INCLINATIONS ARE ALL PAST
AS IN NOT PRESENTLY FELT
NOT EVEN A LITTLE
AND FURTHERMORE, THAT I AM TAKEN IN BOTH CONCUPISCENT QUADRANTS.

jegus
calm your shit vantas
i dont want to be part of your shitty quadrants anyways
...
id just do it because watching you flip your shit is fucking hilarious

MY SHIT, COMPARED TO EARLIER, IS RELATIVELY CALM
IT HAS BEEN PACIFIED AS A MOIRAIL SHOOSHPAPS THEIR PARTNER
IT IS SITTING THERE, UNCONCERNED, AND NOT ABOUT TO EXECUTE SO MUCH AS A HALF-HEARTED SOMERSAULT.
YOU, QUADRANTS, AND ME ARE NOT SOMETHING THAT ARE GOING TO OCCUR IN ANY COMBINATION ANYTIME SOON
NO MATTER THE ACTIONS AND FEELINGS OF DIMWIT IGNORANT PAST ME.
SAVE THE BUCKETS, THE JOKE WAS OLD MONTHS AGO.

i get it
i got it the first time
you dont actually have to continuously remind me that we will never have any quadrants together again
why are you so intent on telling me this???
seriously
despite what others might say
i actually do read comprehend and listen when someone says something
i know right???
surprise surprise
dave fucking strider actually pays attention
who would have thought???

IT'S BECAUSE I'M BITTER THAT WE NEVER WORKED OUT!

[Pause.]

FUCK. THIS IS A CURSE, THAT'S THE ONLY ANSWER FOR IT.
I SHOULD JUST STOP TALKING, HOLE MYSELF UP IN A PIT, AND GO MUTE FOR THE WHOLE DAMN WEEK.
THE END, THAT'S IT.
BUT LET IT BE KNOWN
SINCE I APPARENTLY HAVE NO CHANCE OF SALVAGING MY WOUNDED PRIDE FROM THE ARROW I JUST SHOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT WITH
I *HAVE* GIVEN UP ON YOU
IN ANY QUADRANT
MOST ESPECIALLY CALIGINOUS BECAUSE MY KISMESIS IS MORE LOATHSOME THAN YOU EVER WERE.
ROMANCE WITH YOU IS AS DOOMED A PROSPECT AS THE FUTURE OF THE TROLL RACE
BY ONE MEANS OR ANOTHER, IT WILL DIE OFF, HOPELESS FOR FUCKING EVER.
JEGUS CHRIST THIS IS NOT THE SUBJECT I EVER WANTED TO RECALL WITH YOU.

[Ouch. That might have bothered him more then he thought it would. Because he needed someone to tell him that apparently he'd be the worst fucking person to be in a romantic relationship ever.]

fuck you vantas
what da fuck do yall know about me
watchin a goddamn timeline aint gonna actually teach you anythin
you can learn ma fuckin habits and the shit i do
but you aint got anythin on me to decide that im as shitty as you fuckin keep sayin i am
maybe i just want to fuckin wait until im sure the person i might go steady with is worth my fuckin time instead of flouncin around
...
holy shit why did i start typing with an accent and holy shit ignore everything i just fucking typed
shit
fuck

...
WHAT.

i think you completely disregarded the part where i said
holy shit ignore everything i just fucking typed
it means ignore that shit
it isnt even fucking important
jegus

NO, THAT SHIT IS IMPORTANT.
JUST
GIVE ME A SEC, WE NEED A FILTER ON THIS LIKE
FOREVER AGO, BUT NOW WILL HAVE TO FUCKING DO.

Edited 2012-01-10 09:53 (UTC)

FIRST OFF
FUCK YOU BACK, JACKASS!
YOU THINK I JUST DECIDED THIS ON A WHIM?
THAT ONE DAY I WENT AND THOUGHT, "HMM, STRIDER SURE GUZZLES FROM THE FOUNT OF A RASH-BEARING SPHINCTER WHEN IT COMES TO ROMANCE!"
BECAUSE NO, FUCKWAD, IT IS NOT LIKE THAT.
YOU
YOU FUCKING LEFT!
YOU DISAPPEARED FROM THE BUBBLE AND DIDN'T REMEMBER A SINGLE FUCKING THING WHEN YOU CAME BACK
EVEN THOUGH I KISSED YOU FIRST THING!
...
FUCK IT, I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO BOTHER GETTING WORKED UP OVER THE SLIPS RIGHT NOW.
AT THIS POINT IT WOULD JUST BE ASKING FOR MY CARDIOVASCULAR ORGAN TO EXPLODE FROM MY CHEST IN THE GORIEST AND MOST LITERAL VERSION OF A STRESS-INDUCED HEART ATTACK TO EVER OCCUR.
AND IT'S NOT EVEN JUST THAT.
I ACTUALLY TRIED TO WIN YOU BACK, YOU KNOW THAT?
OH, WAIT, OF COURSE YOU DON'T, BECAUSE YOU NEVER FUCKING ASKED!
I EVEN BROKE YOUR SHITTY ASS SHADES, BUT NOPE, NO LUCK.
ALL I GOT FOR MY TROUBLE WAS A GAPING HOLE WHERE YOUR HATE USED TO BE, A FUCKTON OF DRAMA, AND FOR SOME REASON A BREAKUP WITH MY MATESPRIT OF THE TIME
WHO WAS THE ONE TO PROPOSE ME GOING CALIGINOUS FOR YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.
SO YOU KNOW WHAT
I GAVE UP
BECAUSE PAST YOU WAS NOT FUCKING INTERESTED AND TRYING ANY MORE WOULD JUST SCREW MY LIFE UP THE ASS EVEN HARDER.
BUT WAS THAT EVEN THE END OF IT?
NOPE! OF COURSE NOT, BECAUSE MY LIFE DIDN'T SUCK ENOUGH ALREADY!
IT GOT TO THE FUCKING POINT THAT I HATED YOU SO MUCH I NEARLY WANTED TO KILL YOU AT ONE POINT
WHICH IS PRIME FUCKING MATERIAL TO INVITE AN AUSPISTICE TO STEP IN
HELL, I EVEN FOUND ONE WHO PRACTICALLY INSISTED ON THE SPOT
BUT NOOO, NO WAY CAN KARKAT HAVE HIS ASHEN QUADRANT FILLED
BECAUSE VATHEON CHOSE RIGHT THEN TO SEND YOUR ASS BACK TO THE MEDIUM AGAIN.
SO STOP THE BAD ACCENT PITY PARTY BECAUSE I HAVE PLENTY OF FUCKING REASON TO BE BITTER ABOUT IT.

shut the fuck up
i dont fucking decide whether i come back here or not
i dont even fucking choose whether i get to stay here
you think i like coming here and realizing that ive been here before but i dont remember???
do you think i actually like being told that people know me and met me and ive talked to them
but i have no actual clue who the fuck they might be???
i dont you dumbshit of a troll
believe it or not theres some things i try to limit myself on
and its not trying to play with your fuckin heart or anyones for that matter
how unbelievably shitty of you to just assume the reason i dont ask is because im some sick fuck like that
how the fuck am i supposed to know that i had a thing with you before
i wouldnt have fucking known unless
surprise
you fucking told me
which you did
im not in charge of the fucking timeline here
i dont go out of my way to make stable time loops in the hopes that the alpha timeline doesnt fuck up
i dont think i can even do that here
what the fuck do you expect me to do???
suddenly remember all the fucking shit that happened here when it was out of my fucking jurisdiction
let me just conveniently go back and just rewatch my entire fucking life here
i bet that will work
god
how can i be so dumb to not do that
SPOILER
i fucking cant do that
you said it your fucking self
vatheon sent me back
and brought me back here again
i just fucking love to be plucked from our session without even so much as some notice
and you know what
if you so fucking hate me so much that you want to kill me
then fucking bring it on vantas
im ready for your sorry troll ass and your whiny fucking complaining about shit i cant even prevent

I AM NOT GOING TO KILL ANYONE
NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WANTED TO AT THE TIME.
I JUST
FINE.
FUCKING FINE.
I KNOW YOU DON'T CONTROL IT, I KNOW IT'S THESE STUPID GODDAMN SCIENTISTS BRINGING US HERE AND SHIPPING US BACK WITHOUT A SINGLE FUCKING QUESTION OF WHETHER OR NOT WE'RE OKAY WITH IT.
I'M JUST PISSED OFF!
WHY AM I THE ONE WHO HAD TO BE STUCK WITH THAT SHITTY ASS LUCK???
YOU JUST CAN'T EXPECT ME TO BE PERFECTLY FUCKING FINE WITH THE FACT THAT YOUR EXISTENCE HAS BEEN ONE LONG CASCADE OF AGGRAVATION AND DISAPPOINTMENT FOR ME!

what the fuck should i do???
kindly escort my shit off the premises???
remove my body from your hair so you don't have to deal with my ass???
lay it on me
maybe i can finally find a way to not be a fuck up and stop disappointing you and your standards vantas
you have my undivided attention
fucking lay it thick
its not like i have anything better to do here

[There is a long pause before Karkat sends any reply, because... that really is a good question. Here he's got this chance finally, this opportunity to finally tell Dave what the hell he wants from him after all the bad luck, hatred, and emotional miscues they've been through. It's been a long time coming, with all the ups (and mostly downs) that have happened over most of a year. He already knows he doesn't want to kill him - or anyone - anymore. He already knows he's more satisfied with his current kismesis than he was with Dave. He already gave up on the idea of something ashen. So where does that leave him?]

...
I DON'T KNOW.

[VIDEO] Done lmfao

[VIDEO]

[VIDEO]

[VIDEO] (1/2)

[TEXT] (2/2)

[TEXT]

[TEXT] (1/2)

[TEXT] (2/2)

[TEXT]

[TEXT]

[TEXT]

[TEXT]

[TEXT]

[TEXT]

[TEXT]

[TEXT]

[TEXT]

[TEXT]

[TEXT]

[TEXT] (1/2)

[TEXT, filtered] (2/2)

[TEXT, filtered]

[TEXT, filtered]

[TEXT, filtered]

[TEXT, filtered]