voice + video

[f8tal]

[Even before the video turns on there is a scream that rips through Vatheon with the force of 8,000 shattered windows.

Zoom in on Vriska and the nicely timed video feed that just turned on to show... a fish tail? But it's not any fish tail- it's a mermaid tail. Covered in blue scales of a familiar cerulean shade it's connected to the owner of the previous screech, Vriska. She's currently too busy trying to control herself on her bedroom floor than pay any attention to her wayward device. She looks between horrified and extremely angry.]

What the fuck happened to me?!

Comments

[VOICE]

[f8tal]

Then you'll just have to wait when I have legs again to show you personally.

Ampora can just sit out that round. He'll have his turn too.

[VOICE]

[bethehugejerk]

Why the fuck do you even want to show me this dumb lake? Are your poor precious feelings that hurt that I found a little humor in you being turned into a flopping fishmonster for the week? It's not like it's the worst insult I've ever made against you and you know it.

[VOICE] 1/2

[f8tal]

[Does he really think she cares about this lake...]

[VOICE]

[f8tal]

You really are stupid.

[VOICE]

[bethehugejerk]

[Something like a growl sounds from him, frustrated but not quite the same quality as it would be normally. Darn human vocal cords.]

How am I being the stupid one when you're the one going on about all this when I made clear it's not going to work? If there's some moronic point you're trying to get at, then either spit it out, or choke on it and shut up.

[VOICE]

[f8tal]

Hmmmmmmmm?

Obviously your shriveled up little thinkpan just can't comprehend simple ideas or threats! Not that I'm surprised, you never struck me as very intelligent. I suspect that's why you attracted Ampora. His expectations aren't very high, so why not woo a complete idiot?

[VOICE]

[bethehugejerk]

Were you even listening half the conversation ago? I said I'm not going! Drowning is not my fucking deal, as dying once was far more than enough, and again, I'm not looking to emulate what happened to my ancestor. Go soak until you dissolve into a stew of gross blue phlegm for all I care, as you would be doing us all a massive favor.

And leave Eridan out of it. At least I have a matesprit, which is better than you ever got close to with that train wreck you had with Tavros.

[VOICE]

[f8tal]

If someone wants you dead enough there's a pretty high chance you will die. Too bad!

Yeah, too bad for you that will never happen.

Like I even care about Tavros like that anymore! You're beating a dead hoofbeast with that point, Vantas. You should try and find a new one already.

[VOICE]

[bethehugejerk]

Then try this. Take that sack of shit you keep stored in your lobe as substitute for a working think pan, and wring it until a reason falls out. Seriously, why are you even doing this? What's the point? Consider all deceased hoofbeasts formally given pardon and let off the flogging jut if you'll just tell me what you're trying to accomplish with this whole thing.

[VOICE]

[f8tal]

Like it matters if I try to explain anything to you! Why do you even care if I have a reason or not?

[VOICE]

[bethehugejerk]

Because there has to be something you're trying to accomplish here, unless your sole concept of being and purpose in life is to be a murderous bitch for no damn reason. Do you think I'd be trying to drag it out of you if I didn't want to hear it?

[VOICE]

[f8tal]

[Why are you asking her these things, AUGH.] I used to have a reason! I had a reason for everything I did, obviously!

Not everyone could understand that everything I did was for the greater good, but whatever! Like any of that shit matters now, now does it?

So, you know what? No. I don't have a reason to be like this. All my reasons died when I came here to this shit hole and that's all there is to it!

[VOICE]

[bethehugejerk]

For the greater good? Are you even kidding me?

How was paralyzing Tavros for the greater good? Or keeping his sawed-off legs in your sylladex? Yeah, I learned about that: you threw his fucking toe at me once, you sicko.

Or how about killing him? Tell me what good that did.

Hell, I don't even like him much, and I've done more good for him here than you ever did.

And then there's that whole mess with you and Terezi and all what else went on in that fucked up chain of bullshit. Don't even tell me you weren't using John to try and get an upper hand on her; I know how you two work with your overblown pretentious mind games. And your whole plan to go off and fight Jack and be the hero? That would have gotten us killed if not for Terezi stopping you.

There was one time - one time - I thought you might be a little better than you've made yourself look. So much for that! In the end you're just some trumped up, arrogant dumbass who can't do anything right, can't take responsibility for a single ounce of the shit she's pulled, and doesn't even have the frigging dignity to stop when she has no reason anymore!