caughtinanetwork | 9th Combo

[The feed comes on with Lloyd looking off to the side, talking to someone off screen.]

-sure wish I could have turned homework in like this back home! Then even if I waited until the last minute I could still-

Oh, hey, it's on.

[Lloyd looks into the camera, looking incredibly pleased with himself.]

Professor, we did it! We got our homework done! And we're even getting it in early.

[Before the original two week deadline, in fact! ~~Are they trying to give Raine a heart attack?~~

He doesn't seem to realize that this isn't locked to Raine at all, that everyone can see this.]

Here, you can read it now. I wrote the stuff in blue, and Luke did the stuff in black.

[That said, he turns the starfish around so that the view takes in a table with five pieces of paper on it.]

and no one would be confuzed. You need ~~apo~~ ~~appo~~ appostrofees to becos they show were your missing letters like in don't.

"apostrophes", I think. We're supposed to spell right too, right?

There's some other ones in here too, but I don't think it's important.

Anyway, yeah, lists are better. But like, if you can't do a list, then it's better to use them. You know, stuff like "Anise, Natalia and Tear went to buy things".

There's also this thing

;

That's like a period but not. But I don't use it unless I feel like it.

(Note off to the side next to the line about spelling -> I dont think so she just sed we were suposed to write about gramer)

I don't evan know what that is. Why do you need an extra thing for a peroid if its just a peroid?

You have to use capitel letters to becos that's for names and things. If you don't use one than you don't know if your talking about Colette's dog Carmel or about carmel candy. You also have to use them at the begining of sentances but I don't know why.

(Beside the previous note -> I don't know, she sounds pretty strict. But if you say so.)

… You know, I don't know either. Maybe it's just to let people know you're starting a sentence, but shouldn't that be obvious enough with all the periods and stuff?

But yeah, you also have to capitalize the I. "i am Luke" isn't right, but "I am Luke" is.

Apostrophes can also shorten words, so they're good to have. You can shorten up "is not" to "isn't", and would of to "would've".

Or wait, is it would of or would have? The last one sounds right, but…

(And a small note -> Guy would know, ask him.)

They both sound fine to me.

Any way that's why grammer's importent. Its also importent becos profesor Raine seys it is. Their's probabley more stuff we forgot but we only have to write five pages so that's it!

Lloyd Irving
Luke fon Fabre

(Note at the bottom -> Man I'm so glad thats over.)

(Me too.)

[OOC: Replies may come from either Luke and/or Lloyd. o/ Context for those interested.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ After staring at that horrendous paper for a few moments Raine brings herself up on video ]

It seems the two of you both have a lot to learn about papers and grammar. To begin with when writing a paper you are supposed to use correct grammar which includes spelling words correctly. Also, when constructing a paper with another person do not make the paper sound as if the two of you are having a conversation. Each paragraph should flow smoothly from the last making is easy to read.

If possible, I would like this paper in person so I may grade is accordingly as well as the rest of the homework I had given you several weeks ago Lloyd. [ Nope she hasn't forgotten about that homework she gave you before this Lloyd. In fact that homework is overdue. ]

Aw man... Come on, Professor! We really tried hard. I don't even know what you mean by flow, and you didn't say we had to spell.

[Lloyd cringes at the reminder of his other homework.]

I-I'm almost done, I promise! I just forgot about because I was working on this!

[That's... sort of... not exactly a lie. He did forget, and he did let this assignment take precedence. He just might have procrastinated it long before then, too.]

Since I'm turning this one in early, can't I use the extra time to finish the other stuff now?

[ Sigh ] Didn't I teach you the fundamentals of writing a paper, or even an essay Lloyd? You must always use proper grammar when writing a more formal piece of writing.

[ aaaand another Sigh. Oh Lloyd. ]

You've been given several weeks prior to the paper to complete the homework, Lloyd. I will give you five extra days. No more extensions. [ Because remember she allowed a few extra days for the paper as well ]

[Lloyd ducks his head,rubbing the back of his neck somewhat sheepishly.]

Well, uh... I can't really remember if you did. All that stuff you taught me about papers was so boring, and it's been so long since I had one of your classes, it's all kind of a blur.

[A look of relief crosses his face.]

Thanks, Professor! You won't regret it!

[Yes she will, once he turns the homework in. It won't be any better than the example above. Possibly even worse, since it won't have Luke's help.]

[ Have a disapproving face, Lloyd ]

Papers are important. Thus I will reteach you the basics of doing a paper and will ask you to do another on in the future. When I do I expect it to be much more improved than this one.

[ A small smile. Yeah, she's going to regret this. ]

We will see.

[Have a long, drawn out, miserable groan, Raine.]

I still don't-

You know what? Never mind.

[Somehow he doesn't think it'd be a good idea to tell Raine he still doesn't get why papers are that necessary. Maybe he should just cut his losses and hang up before she can assign him more homework.]

Guess I better get started, then. [He couldn't sound any less enthusiastic.] See you later, Professor.

[Luke raises his shoulders and cringes, trying to ignore that heat in his cheeks in embarrassment. Why do other people have to judge his writing?]

That's what I tried to tell him! Come on, this is my first paper!

It's a shame that Lloyd did not listen to you. Since you did spell most of your words correctly your writing was more impressive than Lloyd's. However, as I said before papers are not meant to sound like you are making conversation with anyone. Your handwriting could use some work as well.

I-I can't help my handwriting! It's just the way I write! I've never written for people before!

There are several ways for one to improve your handwriting. [ To an extent. There are some people that no matter how much you give them handwriting exercises it never seems to approve [s]Lloyd[/s]. ] But for a first attempt it's acceptable.

Acceptable, huh... [So unfair. And this all started over texting.]

Better than Lloyd's whom I have been teaching for years.

[ yes like that's much better. ]

I'll get better at it, all right? Maybe when I've actually done this a few times.

All right. We will see your progress once you have written a few more papers then.

Yeah yeah...

[And click. B| Written a few more papers HMPH. He'll do better.]

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