[Text]

[devwocean]

Attention citizens.

You havve made the stupendous mistake of kidnappin one Commander Orphaner Dualscar, destroyer a wworlds an' scourge a the stars.

In light a your obvvious ignorance, and the admittedly pleasant surroundins, I'll be generous. You havve half an hour to explain wwhere I am, howw I got here, and wwhy, and to showw me the exit. It's the ocean, I can make my owwn wway from there.

I'm wwaiting. Don't fuckin disappoint me.

One last wwarnin: I'm not a vvery patient troll.

[OOC: I'm happy to do action tags/prose in the comments, too. Anyone who wants to run into him in person can find him wandering the main thoroughfare around the Lamufao, using his starfish phone thingy to monitor the network]

Comments

just wait until ragefits

[420]

I FuCkIn bE GuEsSiNg sO, yEaH.
HeY, yOu'rE ErIdAn's gEnEtIc dOnOr, AiN'T YoU?
ThE MoThErFuCkEr wIlL AlL SoRtS Of bE GeTtInG HiS GlAd oN OvEr tHaT.
I'M AlL LiKe tHiNkIn hE DoNe dId tO Be gEtTiNg a lItTlE FuCkIn lOnEsOmE
WhEn aLl oF OuRs gOt tO ShOwInG Up bUt yOu dIdN'T YeT.

[devwocean]

Nevver heard a anyone named Eridan.
Though there is someone wwho claims to be my descendant, so I assume you mean him.
There are a lot of young ones, and their ancestors here?
Wwhat an odd coincidence.

[420]

ThAt's aLl bEiNg tHe mOtHeRfUcKeR WhAt i wAs tAlKiNg aBoUt!
He's cOoL.
YoU BrOs dO AlL ThE SaMe tHiNg wItH YoUr vS AnD Ws.
AnD MaYbE ThEy jUsT AlL WeRe wAnTiNg tO GiVe uS A RiGhT ChAnCe aT
MeEtInG EaCh oThEr aT In tHiS HeRe hOoD?

[devwocean]

I suppose this mysterious force that captured us could havve some reason to bring us together.
Tell me about your ancestor, boy.

[420]

No.

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[withoutasign]

IF HE KEEPS ASKING, GAMZEE, YOU CAN CLAIM ME AS YOUR ANCESTOR. I WOULD BE PROUD TO HAVE DONATED TOWARDS YOUR CREATION.

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[420]

NaW, bRo, It's cOoL.
We aLl fUcKiN KnOw yOu oNlY AlL GoT On bItChIn dEsCeNdEnT
AnD It aIn't mE.
CaN'T ChAnGe wHaT YoUr mOtHeRfUcKiN PuMp pUsHeS ThAt eAsY.

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[withoutasign]

ALL RIGHT.
JUST KNOW THAT I WOULD A PROUD AND HAPPY TROLL IF YOU WERE ONE OF MINE.

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[420]

ThAnKs.
He aIn't gEtTiNg hIs bOtHeR On aT YoU, rIgHt?
I CaN AlL Be gEtTiNg rIgHt sAlTy aT A MoThErFuCkEr iF He dOeS.

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[withoutasign]

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, GAMZEE.
I'M FINE.
YOU JUST KEEP YOURSELF AND YOUR FRIENDS AWAY FROM HIM, OKAY?
GO TO DARKLEER IF HE STARTS TRYING TO ACTIVELY BOTHER YOU.

[Dammit, Darkleer, he's taking a gamble here, you better not let him down on this!]

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[420]

I DoN'T GeT BoThErEd.
JuSt gOt mY WoRrY On fOr yOu aNd kArKaT.
YoU KnOw hOw tHeSe mOtHeRfUcKeRs aLl kEeP TrEaTiNg yA.
AiN'T FaIr.

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[withoutasign]

AND BECAUSE THERE ARE TROLLS LIKE YOU AROUND, GAMZEE, I BELIEVE THAT UNFAIRNESS CAN BE CHANGED. YOU GIVE ME HOPE FOR THE FUTURE.

[devwocean]

Wwhat?
Wwhy not?

[420]

CaUsE I AiN'T FuCkIn cArE FoR ThAt mOtHeRfUcKeR.
AnD I Am nOt uP AnD GoNnA SpEaK AnY ShIt wHaT CoNcErNs hIm.
BeSiDeS, yOu pRoBaBlY FuCkIn kNoW ThE MoThErFuCkEr aLrEaDy aNyWaY.

[rebull]

oH YEAH,
tHEY'LL GET REALLY WELL ACQUA1NTED.

[420]

PoOr mOtHeRfUcKeR.

[rebull]

'pOOR' 1MPL1ES HE DESERVES,
uH,
sOME K1ND OF P1TY.
bUT 1'VE BEEN LED TO BEL1EVE THAT 1S NOT THE CASE.
>}:)

[devwocean]

Your input is unwwelcome and unnecessary.
I wwouldn't wwant any pity evven if I wwere wweak enough to deservve it.

[rebull]

[Sorry was he talking to you?]

[420]

I AiN'T GoT ThE FuCkIn dOwN LoW On tHaT
BuT
AgAiNsT ThAt mOtHeRfUcKeR...
AiN'T No bRoThEr wHaT DeSeRvEs tHaT.

[rebull]

nOT 1N THE WAY THE SUBJUGS DO 1T, nO.
bUT TH1S GUY DOESN'T HAVE A GOOD RECORD E1THER.
hE WAS BLOOD1ED FOR BE1NG A PETTY ASS HOLE AND A COWARD AS WELL.

[devwocean]

Perhaps I do.
You aren't as loyal and devvoted to the Grand Highblood Subjugglator as Eridan is to me?

[420]

DaY I TuRn lOyAl tO ThAt mOtHeRfUcKeR
Is tHe dAy aNy bRoThEr cAn cUlL Me.

[devwocean]

Wwell, good.
He's not here, is he?

[420]

He iS.