[Text]

[devwocean]

Attention citizens.

You havve made the stupendous mistake of kidnappin one Commander Orphaner Dualscar, destroyer a wworlds an' scourge a the stars.

In light a your obvvious ignorance, and the admittedly pleasant surroundins, I'll be generous. You havve half an hour to explain wwhere I am, howw I got here, and wwhy, and to showw me the exit. It's the ocean, I can make my owwn wway from there.

I'm wwaiting. Don't fuckin disappoint me.

One last wwarnin: I'm not a vvery patient troll.

[OOC: I'm happy to do action tags/prose in the comments, too. Anyone who wants to run into him in person can find him wandering the main thoroughfare around the Lamufao, using his starfish phone thingy to monitor the network]

Comments

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < uh huh!
:33 < theres a beach and all sorts of other stuff

[devwocean]

I'll havve to invvestigate it sometime.
Wwhat's your name?

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < you should its purrty nice up there!
:33 < im nepeta :33

[devwocean]

Another a Vvantas' followwers, I expect?

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < uh huh
:33 < karkat is our fearless leader furever

[And she's very deliberately not calling him Karkitty or furless leader in front of Dualscar.]

[devwocean]

I thought so.
Wwhat do you see in him?

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < he does whatefur n33ds to be done but he looks afurter all of us at the same time
:33 < hes the best

[devwocean]

Are you his fuckin matesprit or somethin?

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < ...no
:33 < not at all
:33 < just his furrend

[She may have an enormous crush on him, but the honour of being Karkat's matesprit is all your descendant's, Dualscar.

She's not stupid enough to let him know that, though.]

[devwocean]

[Probably a smart idea]

Just wwondering.
It doesn't matter.

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < okay

[...and anyone close to Karkat is in danger now, aren't they? Excuse her while she goes to lock her moirail in Fort Knox.]