caughtinanetwork | ♎

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♎ | 001

[~~through the magic of time shenanigans~~ It has been several hours since Redglare's arrival. Hours she spent investigating, scourging the brochure from top to bottom for every fragment of information, and even checking up on as much of the network as she reasonably could. She's even created a folder of notes on her personal palmtop dedicated to this strange, underwater prison. She is, above all, a professional after all, and it wouldn't do for a member of Alternia's Cruellest Bar to simply run around like a beheaded cluckbeast.

For now, it is time to change the focus of her investigation. Certainly there is much more to be found from investigating the place itself, but it would be a mistake to ignore the people living in it. And Redglare does not make mistakes. She has questions to ask, answers to discovered, and a network to start up, regardless of how long or short her stay may end up being.

She opts for a friendly approach. Catch more flies with honey, after all.]

OH NO! >:[!!!
1 H4V3 F4LL3N 1NTO 4N UND3RW4T3R BUBBL3 4ND 1 C4N'T G3T OUT.
WH3R3 1S TH3 CL3V3R WH1T3 B4RKB34ST TO R3SCU3 M3?
4 BR4V3 KN1GHT TO WH1SK M3 TO S4F3TY SO 1 M4Y SWOON 4MOUNTS TH4T COULD ONLY B3 D3SCR1B3D 4S TRULY OUTR4G3OUS!

H4H4H4, HON3STLY, 1 KNOW 1 D3S3RV3 4 V4C4T1ON FOR MY S3RV1C3S TO TROLLK1ND FOR 4PPR3H3ND1NG TH4T SCOUNDR3L, BUT TH1S W4S NOT WH4T 1 W4S 3XP3CT1NG.
WOULD 4NYON3 B3 W1LL1NG TO H3LP 4 L4DY OUT 4ND 4NSW3R 4 F3W QU3ST1ONS?

Oh no! >:[!!!
I have fallen into an underwater bubble and i can't get out.
Where is the clever white barkbeast to rescue me?
A brave knight to whisk me to safety so i may swoon amounts that could only be described as truly outrageous!

Hahaha, honestly, i know i deserve a vacation for my services to trollkind for apprehending that scoundrel, but this was not what i was expecting.
Would anyone be willing to help a lady out and answer a few questions?

If you want to opt out of me using her text, just comment here.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Fair enough. Only three people here have actually met them from the points in time they come from, and I'm not one of them.

[Things that could bite them in the ass, though... Hmm.]

Namely if Jack ever showed up - the demon, I mean. He tied up with the humans and so on, but basically he stole the Black Queen's ring in the human's session and gained the power of a First Guardian, meaning he's effectively invincible. He can and has literally exploded planets, and is motivated towards destruction for sheer destruction's sake. If he ever shows up, we're fucked.

I guess there's some side possibilities, but those are more post-game, and being kept in check as it is. But if anything else comes up, trust me that I'll be on it if I know about it and can do anything. I'm not the leader for nothing.

Well, I suppose if they are trying to run some kind of experiment here, bringing in a wild card like that probably won't be in their favour.

That's the hope. Like I said, I've been here almost a sweep, and he hasn't shown up yet. The other Jack has - the Jack from our session - but he's cool and the worst he did was set a clock shop on fire.

[He looks back at her directly now.]

But with that out of the way, I think we can move onto Alternia.

Go on. What is it that you would like to tell me about Alternia?

[His posture straightens.]

The Summoner came up before, right? He was inspired by the Signless and so led a rebellion. You'd have to ask him for the details yourself, but I think the basic result is that he united a bunch of lowbloods and got enough attention that, while the caste system didn't actually change, the Empress responded by exiling all adults from the planet. Since then - and it's been that way so long that I never even knew until I heard about it here - only young trolls lived on Alternia. We were actually taught that adults were pretty dangerous, so you can imagine how freaked out I was when one showed up suddenly. At least it was the Dolorosa first and not a worse option.

And that's basically how it was in my time. Hemospectrum still strong as ever - [He frowns there.] - no adults, living with our lusii and automated stuff to make sure the place actually ran right. And from what I learned later, the reason I didn't get culled before I could pupate was that the Signless's small lingering following managed to ensure there would be a lusus for me? I don't know the details, because like I said, I had no clue until I came here.

Then we started Sgrub, the Reckoning pulverized Alternia with meteors, and that triggered the Vast Glub. Thus basically everyone but my team and the Empress died off. From what I've been told, she somehow made it from our universe to a different version of the one we created and conquered that Earth. Don't even ask me, because I have no clue how she got there.

Oh, we are pretty dangerous.

[She flashes him a sharp-toothed, teasing grin.]

So Alternia has been destroyed. What a pity, I guess.

[Wow. Nope. Getting up now, edging away, and keeping his front to her, yep. Not that he trusts himself to be able to defeat a full blown legislacerator, but even teasing, his instincts aren't just going to ignore it.]

Don't even try it.

[But back on subject--]

I guess it's hard to be upset about when it's way after your time, and my team and I got caught up in so much else that mourning the planet seemed kind of a waste. I mean I miss it sometimes, of course I do, but I'm hardly pining to go back even if I could.

[she blinks for a moment then starts to laugh. She has exactly that same Gatling gun hyena laugh that Terezi has.]

Oh Karkat, relax. I'm not going to hurt you. What would I do a silly thing like that for!

[That is a sound he will definitely never forget, even as it makes his shoulders tense up.]

Terezi has been known to punch me for no reason, beat me about the head with her cane, and engage slapfights over every stupid thing under the stars you can imagine. You're like weird, older, more dangerous Terezi, right down to the awful cackle.

[He doesn't actually sound as negative as the wording would imply.]

Hehehe, sounds like she likes you, Mr Vantas.

[What that is how you treat friends, right?]

[Like that, his shoulders slump, and his mouth and eyebrows slip into a flat line.]

The question of whether or not Terezi likes me is a question more complicated than you know, and also one we are sternly, stubbornly, not going to talk about. It is a minefield. It is also old history. Both of us are missing two years of the other's history and have only had one conversation since she showed up again. I just want to get back to being her friend, and that is the bizarre human corpse box I will lay down in and die, satisfied forevermore at the state of emotional affairs.

[Human corpse box? Must be much like how her species enjoys collecting and showing things away in chests, that humans enjoy collecing and stowing away corpses in boxes.]

All right, all right.

[Heh. Young love. Romance sure is confusing and a pain in the rump.]

But can I say, Mr Vantas... you have excellent taste.

I said we're not talking about it!

[There is a bit of redness spreading over his face.]

Either ask about something else or I'm going back to my hive.

Yes, I have one final question.

What is the state of the highbloods currently residing in this place? Are they being restrained? You told me that the interest in our hemospectrum, as quantified in the universal measurement of 'fucks', is low. But I am not entirely certain that measures up.

[She gives him a frank look.]

To be honest, I am mostly surprised the Grand Highblood has not yet turned you into a very attractive red smear. He does those sorts of things, you know!

Edited 2012-11-26 14:29 (UTC)

[Unsurprising. Karkat's embarrassment retreats with the hue to his cheeks, leaving him more serious, if still frowning.]

No shit. You think I don't know? I'm the one with this blood, Redglare, and I would not be saying what I do without reason. Where do you think the grey thing came from?

But anyway, this isn't the first time the Grand Shithead has shown up. He appeared once before, about a half-sweep ago, and we took care of him then. Then his reappeared and the plan was repeated, but altered. Basically - we, meaning my team primarily with a few others, fled up to the island to hide out for general safety concerns. Not perfect, but better than sticking in the bubble. A secondary plan was then made to lure him out, distract him, shoot him with a dart of concentrated sopor slime, and thus keep him relatively calm and out of it. From there he was to be kept on sopor to keep him compliant. And we did luck out - there was some curse going on about irrational fears, and I guess he was terrified of falling over? Made it easy.

But anyway, round two went a bit different. Aside from needing a different gunner and some incidental details, the Signless and Summoner somehow got it into their heads that we couldn't keep him on sopor against his will, as it amounted to "torture".

[He makes finger quotes.]

More the Summoner's idea there, if I recall right... But anyhow, a deal came from that. Either he minds his business and doesn't go on kill sprees, or he gets put back on sopor, end of story. Of course, being based on faith, optimism, and benefit of the doubt, it was absolute shit and eventually failed. Assblood killed Summoner, Darkleer said he would "handle it" - [Again, finger quotes, and quite the scowl.] - and we went into hiding. Off-island, since that's where the murder happened.

Then, despite my advice against killing the Grand Highblood for it, given he'd probably just be angrier than before when he revived, Darkleer went straight ahead and did it anyway. Even though he had acted like he accepted the advice at the time.

[Eyeroll.]

Add to that, he failed to actually make any announcement about this, meaning that at least Eridan and I were left staying at a friend's until we heard things were over from someone else on an entirely unrelated post. Then Darkleer had the nerve to make sad woofbeast faces at me when I called him out on it.

[He breathes out a thick sigh.]

And from then on, my hands have been out of it. If murderclown fucks up, it's their responsibility, not mine. If anything's happened since it hasn't hit me, and my sniff node is thoroughly kept out of it.

Deals with clowns lead to frowns! And torn out spines. Just something we used to say at the Academy.

[A legislacerator learns to work with clowns, exist with clowns, fight with clowns and talk with clowns. She even learns how to wash the stale smell of faygo and blood from her clothes. But above all she learns not to trust them. Ever.]

But all right. Lets assume he is dealt with for now, though I see you have about as much faith in that as I do... what about his descendant?

[Karkat raises an eyebrow. Nothing he knows about, not being a legislacerator by any account, but not all too surprising.]

Gamzee? Gamzee's fine. That's where we got the sopor idea: he's addicted to it, has been for ages, and it keeps him pretty calm and friendly. I'm not going to lie and pretend he's harmless in all circumstances, but I'm his moirail, and I keep that from happening. His sopor intake is by schedule, in specific amounts, to keep him lucid enough not to forget anything more than usual, but not so little as to risk withdrawal symptoms.

[She does look a little stunned at that particular revelation.]

Really? His moirail?

You don't stride up to a clown mid-rampage, pap his face, and shoosh him until he gives you a hug and not come out as his moirail. It's serendipity and I will not hear a word to the contrary.

[Look at that face. Don't even try to doubt it.]

[Okay. Now the stunned look turns into a stare. He strode up to a clown mid-rampage, petted his face and gave him a hug? That's... That's just...

Okay, she just has to laugh. Just look at that earnest firm face.]

Karkat, I think you just might be crazy. Possibly brilliant, but absolutely pan-rottingly crazy.

[Karkat shrugs, emphatically.]

Don't give a shit! It's what got me this far. There's not much of my life you could call not crazy. A mutant, have his own lusus, actually live, and think he can hide his blood? How crazy is that? A mutant who thinks he could make something of himself - and okay, so I did have some stupid ideas, but - one who didn't just want to be a leader, but became one, of a team comprised of trolls from across the entire hemospectrum, including the heiress herself, and succeeded. I led them through that game and fought tooth and nail to get whatever respect I did, and we won, in basic form. I mean shit got screwed up besides and I know I seriously dropped the ball more than once, but we got that much done with more success than any other session I've heard of.

Then when shit hit the fan on the meteor post-game, and people started murdering, yeah, I was scared shitless. Who wouldn't be? Especially when Gamzee joined in, who I never would have expected it from until he crashed hard into stone cold sobriety. I was terrified. I thought I was going to die, to say nothing of the teammates who did. It just kind of--clicked, suddenly, when the rest of us met up with him, and I did it, and we hugged, and that was that.

And on top of that--after everything--I've looked at murder, and what it's caused for me and my teammates and friends here and everything, and I've decided that killing is shit. Nine times out of ten it doesn't get anything good done, and even when it does, it's still hard.

I am the sorriest excuse for a troll you'll ever see, but this works for me, and I'm not changing.

Edited 2012-11-26 16:10 (UTC)

Good, you shouldn't. There is no one who can decide what we are but ourselves regardless of what others may think.

And you are correct - murder often does not do anything good. That is not to say death itself does not have its place. As a punishment, when it fits the crime, and when dealt out swiftly and respectfully by the cold hand of justice, death is very effective. But not as something decided upon by those with judgements too clouded by emotion or plain stupidity.

But all right. That accounts for the subjugglators. What about the seadwellers?

Don't think you can just use it like that here. I already told you that people come back five days later, and that kind of thinking just leads to bugfuck retarded revenge chains anyway.

[There is an audible tiredness in his voice there.]

Anyway, for seadwellers--

The Empress was only ever here once, not for long, and was gone before she could do much. Dualscar is surprisingly alright from what I've seen, once I gave him the chance, and the Signless is his moirail.

Eridan's not perfect, but he's a lot better than he was. You can thank me, by the way. I already mentioned this place has time shenanigans, right? The first time I showed up here, it was from an earlier part on the timeline, before that whole thing with Gamzee happened. What happened was that Eridan and I wound up moirails, and long story short, I eventually wound up taking it on myself to reform this casteist dickhole into someone halfway decent. It was hard, it was frustrating, and he is the most utterly stupid, stubborn, annoying jackass you can imagine when he wants to be. I have personally punched his face more than once to stop him from dumb stuff that would get him killed. And I actually managed to knock the sense into him, even if I was near to dumping him out of frustration more than once. Don't ever say I have no patience, because I have plenty and then some for the important things. Eventually I went back and that stuff happened with Gamzee, and some things here that I'm not going into, but he hasn't regressed back to how he was just because I'm not his moirail anymore.

In the interests of full disclosure and in case you ever get Feferi's opinion on it, yes, he's done some bad things. In order, he blinded my best friend, killed his matesprit, destroyed our hope against extinction, and killed my other best friend. But I say to you will full seriousness that, while he can't ever erase what he did, he has seriously reformed.

As for Feferi...

[Sigh.]

She's one of the people Eridan killed. Right now she is not of good opinion about that, but I at least argued her out of wanting to kill him for it. She's fine when she's being reasonable, but you can guess the kind of emotions affecting her presently. But on that same note, before she disappeared and came back without memories, she and Eridan hashed things out to the point of being moirails again. I mean, they used to be before the game, but Eridan was still a dickweed then and didn't serve the job well enough. Again, he's learned, which is why she gave him the second chance.

[He waves a hand.]

But that drama aside, she's basically the Empress's opposite. Energetic, loves fish puns more than anyone ever should, usually not interested in culling as murder. Ask her yourself if you want to hear about it.

Edited 2012-11-26 16:36 (UTC)

[Karkat certainly is capable of dumping information with the best of them. She's suddenly very glad for the little recorder, still committing their whole conversation to memory. This whole encounter is one she knows for sure she'll be listening back on at least once.]

I see.

[She doesn't have much more to say. That was such a heap of information, she'd rather examine it at first before commenting with any conclusions.

But really, with the matter of the seadwellers and the subjugglators discussed, it leaves the bluebloods. The Marquise she refrains from asking on. She already knows exactly her type. Darkleer, she refrains from asking about too. She has been in conversation with him already and besides, she knows his story. Which leaves--]

What about Darkleer's descendant? What can you tell me about him?

Is that it? Seriously?

[Not that her response about Gamzee was long, but it was still more than an "I see." But she did ask another question, and he's here to give info.]

Equius Zahhak, stinking, sweating, so strong he can hardly touch anything without breaking it, rageaholic, and only worth existing for a few reasons. He makes robots, and has made prosthetics in the past - Vriska had an arm from him before she went god tier, Tavros's legs are from him, and Sollux's eyes were also made by him. Also there was that time Aradia was a robot ghost, but that's not really important.

As far as things go, he's... on our side, I'd put it. He and Gamzee are matesprits for some unfathomable reason, and Nepeta's his moirail. Pretty effective at it, too. Altogether he's the better blueblood, but they're both pretty loathsome in their own ways.

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