First Pickup Line; Text

[justnevwerevwen]

vwell vwell vwell.
i bet none of you knewv i vwas here did you? thats because unlike most of you chumps, i decided to vwatch and learn before i came crying to the netvwork like a total lamer!
and because i figured this vwould givwe me the most dramatic entrance. i alvways did like havwing a little flair.
so nowv that thats out of the vway, i can introduce myself properly to all you cats and kittens.
the names cronus ampora. this place blowvs the dream bubbles out of the vwater by far.
hahahaha im such a car.
do you see vwhat i did there? blowvs it out of the vwater?
i slay myself.
so howv about coming and introducing yourselvwes? im itching to meet all of you avwesome people.

Comments

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

ok dude
first tell me your name
and then ill tell you where i am
i think thats a fair trade

...i hope were thinking of the same bird btw

[justnevwerevwen]

the name is cronus! cronus ampora.
nowv howvs about them vwhereabouts, yeah?
im getting real excited to meet you.

im not sure vwhat kind of bird you are but vwhatever kind i bet its great.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

gotcha

riiiiight
ok
im part crow for future reference
also im maybe a block away from the plaza

[He's not even sure which direction away from the plaza he is. Good luck, Cronus.]

[justnevwerevwen]

part crowv huh? like i said, totally cool!
i vwill be there soon!
dont vworry i vwill find you, just sit tight and be ready for me.
vwe vwill havwe a good time together, just you vwait.

[And then he's on his way.]

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

uh huh
ill believe that when it happens bro

[And Davesprite's just gonna chill at some cafe nearby because fuck it. He's...kind of not expecting Cronus to show up, honestly.]

[justnevwerevwen]

[It takes Cronus longer than he would have liked for it to, but eventually. Eventually he finds him. He's looking for the part bird guy, after all. He figures he would stand out. And he does! Cronus finds him, and makes his way into the cafe.]

Let me guess, you're Davwesprite, right? Just call it a hunch.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[He's enjoying a very nice coffee when Cronus enters the scene. Damn, he even looks like he's from the 1950's. Davesprite's getting flashbacks to when he read The Outsiders.

Huh, he should really read that again.

...Way off topic, dude.]

Yeah, and I'm guessing you're Cronus. [Davesprite gestures to the chair in front of him.] Take a seat, I guess.

[justnevwerevwen]

[Wow, sitting in front of someone in a cafe! This is totally like a date. His first date. Well this is exciting!

He plants his ass firmly in the chair and gives Davesprite a grin.]

You're right, I am. It's nice to meet you. And hey, I vwas right, it's a vwery attractivwe bird that you're a part of. Almost as attractivwe as your human half.

1/3?

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[Hang on, he needs a moment.]

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[...okay, no, he needs another moment.]

done

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

I can't tell if you're seriously coming on to me or if you're just that desperate. I...guess I'm flattered?

[Maybe? Davesprite's not really sure how to take this. Who the hell flirts with him?]

[justnevwerevwen]

Vwov! I'm not desperate! I vwas seriously coming onto you! I think that you're vwery attractivwe. Definitely someone I vwould vwant to get vwith.

[This guy. This guy flirts with him.]

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[Why did it have to be this guy?]

...We just met. And you're basing it all on my appearance, which happens to be a mix of ghost, animal, and human.

[justnevwerevwen]

[The real question is, why not this guy? He's a total catch!]

Yes, and vwhat is vwrong vwith that? If you think vwe should get to knowv each other better, vwell that is exactly vwhy I'm here! But am I not allowved to let you knowv howv hot I think you are?

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[He's facepalming on the inside.]

I just don't see it, but whatever. So, what do you wanna know first?