First Pickup Line; Text

[justnevwerevwen]

vwell vwell vwell.
i bet none of you knewv i vwas here did you? thats because unlike most of you chumps, i decided to vwatch and learn before i came crying to the netvwork like a total lamer!
and because i figured this vwould givwe me the most dramatic entrance. i alvways did like havwing a little flair.
so nowv that thats out of the vway, i can introduce myself properly to all you cats and kittens.
the names cronus ampora. this place blowvs the dream bubbles out of the vwater by far.
hahahaha im such a car.
do you see vwhat i did there? blowvs it out of the vwater?
i slay myself.
so howv about coming and introducing yourselvwes? im itching to meet all of you avwesome people.

Comments

[text]

[unconchonable]

[Welp, it was only a matter of time..]

please fuckin refrain from any wwater based jokes they are hardly fuckin humorous wwhen this place is drippin wwith fish puns nautical puns ANY type a fuckin pun that has anythin to do wwith the sea alright
anywway i heard about you but im still somewwhat surprised somehoww
you are not wwhat i wwas expectin
bee tee dubs im eridan

[text]

[justnevwerevwen]

vwowv looks like im not the only one vwith a sense of humor around here.
dont act like you dont knowv vwho i am, chief!
you and i both knowv that you knowv exactly vwho i am.
and dont think i forgot about our date!
the one vwe still havwent had a chance to go on.
vwhat better place to do it than here, huh? vwhat vwith all the vwater and the stuff.
its vwery romantic.
i could serenade you as a vwhale svwims ovwerhead and evwerything!

[spacecase]

.....
are you high or what?

[justnevwerevwen]

if you mean havwe i been smoking a human vweed cigarette, then the ansvwer is no!
vwhat makes you think that i am?

[ohshellno]

ugh
nope
pools closed take your shit and leave

[justnevwerevwen]

ha ha ha vwery funny meenah! you and i both knowv by nowv that i cant leavwe.
not that i vwould vwant to! youre here and evweryone else is here and a lot of cool people are here!
i think i vwill settle down and get to knowv a fewv of them.

text;

[seablaze]

Purple text!
You must be one of the seadwellers.
Do you have fins on your neck?

text;

[justnevwerevwen]

i am! and yes i do. vwould you like to touch them?

[toreadorkabull]

wOAH, uH,
hEY, i GUESS,
yOUR ENTRANCE WAS DRAMATIC,
fOR AND ENTRANCE BEING MADE OUT OF TEXTUAL WORD CLUSTERS,

[justnevwerevwen]

thanks chief! im glad you can appreciate it.
youre nitrams ancestor arent you?

[video]

[heartandsoul]

Cats and kittens...?

[Of all the random themes for trolls to have, 1950s is one as well?

Also no, Maka does not feel like dealing with text and squinting to see what a given word means.]

Hey, show yourself, would you?

[video]

[justnevwerevwen]

oh hey, no problem!

[He flicks it on with a shit eating smirk.]

Cronus Ampora, at your service.

text;

[fulmination]

You're... certainly an interesting one. Would I be correct in assuming you're another troll?

text;

[justnevwerevwen]

you got that right, chief! i bet youvwe met a lot of us by nowv huh?
there sure seem to be quite a fewv.

[But he's the best one, obviously.]

[knightime]

do trolls even know what a car is?
i get the feeling you might have meant something else but ok
also youre in a bubble under the water and your first thought is to refer to people as felines
you have never seen how unhappy a cat looks in water
its not happy at all
its basically the opposite of happy

jesus christ you guys are coming in all at once
my body is not ready for this

[justnevwerevwen]

vwhere vwere from theyre called foure vhweel devwices.
so yes vwe do!
hahaha maybe that vwas part of the joke, chief!
did you evwer think of that?

i could help make your body ready.
vwould you like me to try?

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < h33h33, that really is pretty funny X33
:33 < hi cronus!
:33 < im nepeta :33

[why did he have to say cats and kittens, now she automatically likes him...]

[justnevwerevwen]

vwell hello there! you must be meulins ancestor huh?
the similarities are vwery obvwious.
im glad you liked my joke though!
i am pretty funny, arent i?

[stridercentric]

[Did someone say water puns? Bro can't resist the urge to get in on this action.]

careful not to go off the deep end kid.

i know youre itchin to dive right in. but if you dont watch yourself youll end up in hot water.

[justnevwerevwen]

hahahaha vwery nice, chief.
youvwe really got those puns dowvn dont you?
i bet you get along really vwell vwith meenah.
she can alwvays appreciate a good vwater and fish pun.
she doesnt like vwhen i do it though, im not really sure vwhy.
its all in good fun!
and to impress her.
but ill say this, YOUVWE impressed ME.
vwhats your name?

[text]

[zipperlips]

[Ewwww, this guy. Kurloz doesn't know where he is, so he can't come stare him down, unfortunately. Doing it via the SFC will have to do for now.]


:o(

[text]

[justnevwerevwen]

i think you hit the vwrong button there! got your bracket backwvards.
so turn that frowvn upside dowvn, chief!
i knowv youre cooler than that.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

did vatheon take you from the 50s or some shit dude
also im offended by this cat nonsense
im part fucking bird
so dont call me a cat or a kitten
im davesprite

[He feels like he's going to regret introducing himself.]

[justnevwerevwen]

vwell i vwould explain that, but it is a vwery personal question.
vwe vwould havwe to get to knowv each other a little better first!
vwould you like to get to knowv me better? i think vwe should.
shall vwe meet up?
and im terribly sorry for that, chief.
ill keep that in mind! part bird eh? vwowv. i bet your vwery attractivwe.
its nice to meet you!
vwhere are you? vwe should meet and get to knowv each other like i said.

[TEXT]

[bethehugejerk]

IN WAITING TO MAKE YOUR SO-CALLED ENTRANCE THE THING YOU HAVE ACHIEVED IS NEITHER DRAMA NOR FLAIR, BUT A STUNNING RESEMBLANCE TO AN UTTER TOOL.
I OFFER A SLOW CLAP FOR THIS EFFORT
WHICH IS AS USEFUL FOR CONGRATULATING SOMEONE AS A KNIFE IS FOR EATING SOUP.
THAT IS HOW WELL YOU DID RIGHT THERE.
IN TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK COOL OR FUNNY OR APPEALING AT ALL, YOU HAVE SPILLED BROTH AND NOODLES ALL DOWN YOUR FRONT, FAILING IN ENTIRETY TO PERFORM ONE SINGLE HALF-DECENT ACTION.
INTRODUCING MYSELF WOULD IMPLY I ACTUALLY CARE TO MEET YOU.
BESIDES, YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW WHO I AM DUE TO TEMPORAL SHENANIGANS.

[TEXT]

[justnevwerevwen]

8LAH 8LAH 8LAH.

i didnt hear a vword you just typed! do you havwe any idea vwhat youvwe done?
you stole my matesprit!
or vwell, my soon to be matesprit.
and made him forget all about me and our date that vwe vwere going to go on!
honestly i dont evwen knowv vhwat he could possibly see in you.
youre loud and immature and completely and utterly vworthless in comparison to me!
i may not be in an aggressivwe space in my life right nowv but i think i could make an exception for you!
i vwould vwatch your back if i vwere you vwantas.
vwatch it hard.

[insufferability]

Ah, Cr9nus! H9w delightful 9f y9u t9 j9in us at last. As y9u might have n9ticed, a large am9unt 9f 9ur team mates, sans alternate timeline iterati9ns, are already present in the 6u66le, al9ng with a pleth9ra 9f citizens fr9m c9untless 9ther universes, including 9ur descendant-ancest9rs, 9ur p9st-scratch iterati9ns, and an entire range 9f pe9ple hailing fr9m universes unaffected 6y the game. My stay here s9 far has 6een 69th enlightening and interesting, al6eit slightly triggering due t9 certain tr9u6le citizens wh9 seem t9 disregard what I have t9 say regarding triggers and the w9rkings 9f s9cial justice. Regardless, I 6elieve y9u will fit in just fine, h9wever, as I 6elieve y9u may have n9ticed [TW: Suicide ] we are currently alive, s9 c9mmitting the act 9f attempting t9 take y9ur 9wn life will actually 6e effective, s9 I will have t9 6eseech up9n y9u t9 6e careful with that.

[justnevwerevwen]

oh look its a vwantas that i dont entirely vwant to kick in the nook.
howvs it going, bud?
i didnt realize that you vwere here, but i guess thats cool. youre not as completely insufferable as the other vwantas. the one vwho stole my matesprit.
did you knowv he did that?
i am so TRIGGERED.
you should go do something about that! go fix him or vhwatevwer it is that you do.

video;

[terribubbly]

Hehehe, that was a good one! Glubbing puns is a good start in a place like this, I think, but don't expect everyone to be buoyed by all that clever wordplay!

video;

[justnevwerevwen]

Vwell if you can believwe it, it vwas actually somevwhat of a coincidence that I made that pun in the first place! But it's only because I'm just naturally clevwer that it came out.

By the vway... You look familiar. Are you Meenah's ancestor, perhaps? The resemblance is strong, and I havwe to say that you're boiling my vwater!

[#another natural pun #are you impressed yet #please dont be like meenah #date me]

[devwocean]

Wwoww.
Wwhat happened to your quirk?
Seems from wwhat I'vve been told here an there that I'm you, in a wway.

[not here, but]

[onlyasign]

[going to be watching this interaction very carefully...]

[onlyasign]

HELLO, CRONUS. I'M SUFFERER. WELCOME TO THE BUBBLE.

[justnevwerevwen]

vwait.
sufferer as in the post scratch vwersion of kankri?
vwhoa vwait.
is that really all you havwe to say? that vwas so short.

text;

[overbiterestart]

The joke would be a lot funnier if we could actually blow something out of the water. Alas, Mister Ampora. I don't think we can do that when an air tight dome is surrounding us. Though, I do suppose that you could go splash about in the fountain.

[Amporas usually don't like her.....not that she's tried talking to Dualscar yet.]

text;

[justnevwerevwen]

vwell damn, my clevwer joke has been ruined. howv vwill i evwer recovwer? maybe you should let me see your face, i bet it vwould cheer me right on up!

[video]

[the12th]

...This was a little difficult to read.

Why are we cats and kittens?

[video]

[justnevwerevwen]

I think the real question is vwhy AREN'T you cats and kittens, eh? Haha. But no, it's just a figure of speech!

[...nope]

[rebull]

[nope]

[...yep]

[justnevwerevwen]

[yep.

#hitting on your descendant #likes his mohawvk #vwants to touch his vwings #vwonders vwhy it isnt red like yours]

text;

[420]

HaHaHhA, gOoD OnE BrO!

text;

[justnevwerevwen]

vwhy thank you! i vwill be here all vweek. and by that i mean hopefully longer!
nowv tell me, vwould you be the gamzee troll i havwe heard about?
descendant of kurloz?
let me tell you thats just the tops right there.
nice to meet you!

[#lying #kurloz is kind of creepy #but hopefully youre cool]

[paladaddy]

[Oh god it's like reliving his childhood right here.]

I can't make sense of what you're trying to say, you've got too many vs and ws everywhere.

[justnevwerevwen]

oh come on, guy, i bet if you tried hard you vwould be able to read it just fine!
it is incredibly rude of you to make fun of the vway i talk.
or type in this case. youre going to hurt my feelings! you should cut a guy some slack, some vwords are just harder than others.

[freakysh_t]

oh, hey cronus... 1 was wonder1ng 1f anyone else from our sess1on was go1ng to be here...

1 guess now you can learn about humans from actual humans, huh...

[justnevwerevwen]

vwell hey, if it isnt nitram! i met your descendant earlier. hes a real cool cat. vwery attractivwe, if i may be so bold.

and yes. yes i can. looking forward to that a lot.

[aim_exorable]

[Sigh. Just. All the sighing. Quietly rubbing his temples.]

D --> Congratulations on possessing the minimum requirement for common sense
D --> However I am afraid I do not see much of the humor in your statement
D --> You are an alternate young version of Dualscar, then, are you not?

[justnevwerevwen]

vwhat is that supposed to mean? i bet he has a fantastic sense of humor!
vwe are the same person after all. so vwe probably take after each other quite a bit!

and dont you mean 8==D.
haha.

[video]

[cynicisms]

[Another one of the grey people, just as hard to understand as the rest of them. He's not sure why but he just can't help but respond - and when he does he's already scowling a little.]

A little full of yourself, aren't you?

[He makes a little huff, and then sneezes.]

[video]

[justnevwerevwen]

Vwhat? No, this is just confidence. Don't people find confidence attractivwe?

But if you don't, you should knowv... I'm also sensitivwe!