First Pickup Line; Text

[justnevwerevwen]

vwell vwell vwell.
i bet none of you knewv i vwas here did you? thats because unlike most of you chumps, i decided to vwatch and learn before i came crying to the netvwork like a total lamer!
and because i figured this vwould givwe me the most dramatic entrance. i alvways did like havwing a little flair.
so nowv that thats out of the vway, i can introduce myself properly to all you cats and kittens.
the names cronus ampora. this place blowvs the dream bubbles out of the vwater by far.
hahahaha im such a car.
do you see vwhat i did there? blowvs it out of the vwater?
i slay myself.
so howv about coming and introducing yourselvwes? im itching to meet all of you avwesome people.

Comments

[devwocean]

I saww that.
Eridan's had Vvantas as a matesprit here for a real long time so it's probably best to movve on.
Anywway, did I read it right that you hadn't gone on a date yet?

I wwould vvery much be wwillin to meet up, yes.
Eridan an I havve a vvery close bond by noww, an I'vve got an interest in evvaluatin you to see wwhether you're wworthy to bring under my fins an guide into an upright impressivve example of a vvioletblood, as I havve done wwith him.
Come to Ordo 1.
I livve wwith Signless and Psiioniic, but you an I can talk privvately.

[justnevwerevwen]

but howv can i movwe on vwhen he vwas stolen right out from under me?
its just not fair! vwe vwere going to havwe so many good times together.
it vwould havwe been like real human true lovwe, probably!
but no i havwent gone on a date.
vwhy do you ask?
i mean do you vwant to fix that? i bet you could help me movwe on!
if eridan and i make a good pair then i can only imagine howv amazing you and i vwould be.
i vwill be there real soon, chief!

[devwocean]

Human true lovve?
Wwait.
Wwhat?





I'll see you soon, then.

[justnevwerevwen]

[Cronus wastes no time in making his way to Dualscar's hive, because he is suddenly excited at the prospect of moving on from Eridan and totally hooking up with this badass awesome troll that just happens to be himself. There is nothing wrong with that.

So soon! There is a knock on the door and a very eager looking Cronus standing outside.]

[devwocean]

[Dualscar isn't entirely certain what is going on here. Though he sent Valentine chocolates to Eridan, it had been intended platonically, as a sign of appreciation of the young troll and their special and unique relationship. He's hoping to form a similar relationship with Cronus. From what he's seen so far, they aren't any more or less similar in personality than he and Eridan are, so he's inclined to think of him as another descendant.

So far he's concluded that Cronus seems a bit...well, lonely, and that's something he can relate to. Perhaps he's a bit overdramatic - that's something he'll work on through mentorship. And bizarrely cheerful. That last is something that convinces Dualscar that they really aren't the same person, even if they share the same name.

All in all, he's pleased that Cronus came so quickly, but still unsure of what the last message had meant. He opens the door and looks the boy over with a rather stern expression on his scarred face.

His own scars were obtained in battle, not little things that can barely be noticed. He's an adult troll of over three centuries of age. Can you impress him, Cronus?

We'll see.]

Wwhat's that thing in your mouth?

[justnevwerevwen]

[Cronus, meanwhile, is certainly not as platonically inclined as Dualscar. Some might call it desperation! Others (and him) would just call it the art of perfect match making. Who better than himself, right? Honestly, it's probably the best idea he's had in a while. Eridan is Eridan, but Dualscar... Dualscar is clearly the better choice, if he's perfectly honest. It's really, really not desperation. He promises. It's just straight up logic.

And when Dualscar opens the door, Cronus is looks him over too, taking in the sight of the taller, older troll. He's impressed, to say the least. Because damn, he's fine when he's older. Even if the scars are a little weird- he prefers his own smaller ones by far. But still. Still. Goddamn he's just. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Everything he could possibly hope to be. Completely and totally sexy.]

Oh! This? [He pops it out, holding it up.] It's a cigarette. Isn't it just the coolest thing?

[devwocean]

[Dualscar has seen cigarettes before. Some in the bubble smoke them, and he wrinkles his nose up slightly at being shown. It was a rhetorical question. Like Eridan's fashion sense, it's a filthy habit he will probably try to beat out of Cronus over time. For his own good.]

Wwell, no smokin' in my hivve. [He steps back, inclining his head slightly and offering a smile] Come on in, Cronus. The yelloww-blood is in a coma an has been for some wweeks, or there'd be tea comin'. Do you wwant me to make some anywway?

[justnevwerevwen]

Oh, I don't smoke it! That'd be a waste of a cool cigarette! Nah, it's just for looks!

[He returns the smile with one of his own, though it has a slightly more coy air to it. He steps into the hive when he's invited, and at the question, the smile turns into something more of a devious grin.]

No thanks! The sight in front of me is sweet enough as it is.

[devwocean]

Oh.

[Well, that's all right, then. He just won't mention that they're pretty common and easy to get hold of in the city. Then he might not be so worried about wasting it.

Dualscar is still not sure what to make of this obvious flirting, but he puffs up slightly, and his fins prick up and fan out with pleasure at the flattery]

Wwell, that's nice a you to say.

[Since Cronus doesn't want tea, Dualscar will just close the door and lead him into the parlour, where he sits on the sofa in his accustomed spot. There are chairs available, yanno, unless Cronus wants to cuddle up on the couch. Just sayin'.]

So tell me about yourself, boy. I don't knoww much about this wworld you come from, only that you're another vversion a me from a different univverse.

[justnevwerevwen]

I knowv, but vwhat can I say? I'm just a nice guy. And really, it's just honesty. Besides, you're pretty much me. I nevwer pass up an opportunity to admire myself.

[Cronus follows him, surveying the room with curiosity. When Dualscar sits, Cronus casts glances at the chairs and then decides that he would much rather be closer to his alternate self. So don't mind him, he's just going to sit on the couch next to him. Probably a bit too close, but eh, what's personal space? They're not exactly touching, but all it would take is an adjustment of his knee for it to touch Dualscar's thigh.]

Vwell! There's a lot to say about myself! I really don't knowv vwhere to begin... I havwe a lot of hobbies! I'm particularly good at music; I vwrite my owvn songs, you knowv! I'm an artist. It's something that people really admire, don't you think?

[There's that aforementioned adjustment to his knee, which is now brushing against Dualscar's thigh.]

[devwocean]

It sort a seems like there's a lot a differences betwween us, honestly. [Not that that's a bad thing, but he's not sure he agrees with Cronus that he's 'pretty much him'. And his opinion on that is being cemented with every word Cronus says.

He is okay with Cronus sitting next to him - actually, it's nice that Cronus isn't afraid of him, as many of the young ones are. He turns slightly to watch him speak and to listen to what he's telling him]

Music? Wwell, that's... vvery interestin. I'vve nevver tried my owwn hand at music, myself.

[It's a bit hard to ignore that knee, but he gives it a good try]

Howw old are you?

[justnevwerevwen]

[Cronus disregards that first statement. In his mind, they're totally similar. He's cool, Dualscar is cool, they're both the coolest cats in Vatheon. No differences at all, aside from the scars! And even those are pretty similar.]

I could teach you! Vwe could havwe privwate lessons.

[Just going to keep rubbing his knee against Dualscar's leg slowly. In his mind, he is being the most subtle.]

Nine and a half swveeps! Vwell, sort of. I vwas in the dream bubbles for... vwowv, I don't evwen knowv. A long time!

[Ruuuub.]

[devwocean]

I wwas thinkin' a offerin' you privvate lessons, actually. I already do havve them on a wweekly basis wwith Eridan, an he's come to please me vvery much. I'm sure you'd do the same.

[Okay, the knee is really getting distracting and he shifts a little, putting his hand out and laying it on that knee to still it.]

You're really hopin' to impress me, I think.

[justnevwerevwen]

[Pleases you, eh? Hmm. Hmmmm. Okay that is definitely a vague twinge of jealousy there, simply because his mind is going places. But he's going to try and ignore them. And focus on the hand on his knee. Well hello there. Without really thinking much about it, he reaches out and places his hand over Dualscar's, looking up at him with that same cocky expression. Even if... he's actually weirdly nervous on the inside.]

Impressing you vwould be one of the highlights of this vwisit, yes. Among other things... if you catch my drift?

[devwocean]

[Dualscar's fins flick back, and his eyebrows furrow slightly. This kid is actually, for real hitting on him. It's obvious enough that he can't even try to deny it to himself anymore, though after the debacle with Darkleer, he's tried not to assume so much.

But there's no question he's thrown off a bit.]

You...you're goin' to havve to do more than sing a tune to really impress me, Cronus.

[justnevwerevwen]

I think I can do that! [Or at least he really hopes he can. If he can't impress himself, then what good is he? But let's not go towards those thoughts just yet! He hasn't been turned down yet. He still has a shot!

His thumb brushes over the top of Dualscar's hand slowly in small circles.]

Howv could I not impress you, vwhen vwe're both clearly so impressivwe? I grow into a vwery good looking troll, if I do say so myself.

[devwocean]

[Now it's time to weigh pros and cons.

Pro: Dualscar hasn't gotten laid, well, in a couple of weeks anyway. But the main thing is that he hasn't gotten red-pailed in months, and before that drunken encounter with Summoner, he can't remember the last time.

Con: He's nine frickin sweeps old and Dualscar has the sneaking suspicion that Signless wouldn't approve.

Then again, it's the kid who's coming on to him. No one could call him the predator in this situation. Besides, when you're three centuries old and already involved with trolls who haven't even reached their second decade, age differences start to get fuzzy.

He lifts his free hand and catches Cronus' chin, looking into his eyes searchingly]

Let's not get too far ahead a ourselvves. I can understand wwhy you'd wwant somethin', and I ain't sayin' I'm against it in a general sense. But it seems to me a feww minutes ago you wwere pretty much smitten wwith Eridan. Noww here you are comin' on to me. Someone might get the wwrong idea about you.

[justnevwerevwen]

[Nine sweeps plus several thousand of being in a dream bubble! So he's totally older and that last con doesn't even count. He's all pros, baby. Especially because Signless's opinion totally doesn't matter at all. At least not to Cronus. Why should it, anyway? He barely even knows who that is. And anyone who comes in the way of him getting some is clearly the enemy.

So like he said, all pros. Pros, pros, pros.

Cronus freezes when Dualscar catches him by the chin and his mouth falls open slightly, breath hitching in his throat. Okay. This is pretty much the most he's ever been touched by anyone else, unless probably getting punched counts as touching. It doesn't seem angry or anything, so Cronus can't help the sense of excitement that creeps through him over this.]

Vwha- [Oh. Eridan. Wow, he had forgotten about that guy already.] Vwell! If... If he can get ovwer me so easily, then I think I could do the same! He isn't vworth the heartbreak! And I don't care vwhat kind of ideas people might get about me, either!

[devwocean]

You care wwhat ideas I might get. [Dualscar smirks slightly, showing a bit of white shark's teeth. The boy's obviously nervous, and Dualscar's honestly uncertain if Cronus can even handle him. It wouldn't be nice to break him, especially over a momentary flush crush, and on his very first day.] Are you goin' to get ovver me just as easily as that, too?

[justnevwerevwen]

[Honestly when Dualscar smirks, instead of being too intimidated (well okay, he is slightly) all he can really think is 'Damn I'm fine.' Because honestly, has he seen himself? So much hot troll in this room between the two of them.]

Vwell... I don't knowv! I think that you vwould, uh... Havwe to stop leading me on, so I can see vwhere these feelings go! But vwhy vwould I havwe to, anyvway? I'm pretty sure that I said it, but I vwill say it again... vwe are a damn good match...

[devwocean]

[Now there's a good, long, thoughtful silence. Now he rather wishes he'd read a few more of the threads Cronus had, because this is a bit odd.

Then again, he is very attractive and impressive, and maybe this is just a fantasy that Cronus has nursed for a long time. Eridan himself also had worshipful fantasies about Dualscar, and those initial fanboy feelings have now deepened to an important, deep relationship for both of them. Why shouldn't he indulge him?

So he releases him and stands]

Followw me, then.

[onlyasign]

[devwocean]

[justnevwerevwen]

[The silence that follows has Cronus feeling nervous. It's almost as if he can feel his chance coming, like he knows he's finally going to get laid. It has him nearly hyperventilating with excitement. Because how can Dualscar say no? It's just impossible. Absolutely, positively impossible.

And holy shit he is standing up, and the words that follow have Cronus standing instantly. Holy shit is this real life? Please be real life, please do not be a fantasy. Please be real life forever.]

You got it, chief! Let's go!

[He will follow you until you love him, your Cronaraaaazzi.]

[devwocean]

[Unaware of Signless' hypothetical disapproval, Dualscar leads his young charge to a door and opens it, then down the staircase beyond into the basement of his hive. The air down here is moist, and a bit warmer than above, and the reason for it is revealed quickly as a luxurious tiled spa.

Dualscar pulls off his shirt without ceremony and glances at Cronus, the corner of his lip curled upwards.]

Let's get into the wwater, hmm? More comfortable that wway.