caughtinanetwork | First Pickup Line; Text

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First Pickup Line; Text

vwell vwell vwell.
i bet none of you knewv i vwas here did you? thats because unlike most of you chumps, i decided to vwatch and learn before i came crying to the netvwork like a total lamer!
and because i figured this vwould givwe me the most dramatic entrance. i alvways did like havwing a little flair.
so nowv that thats out of the vway, i can introduce myself properly to all you cats and kittens.
the names cronus ampora. this place blowvs the dream bubbles out of the vwater by far.
hahahaha im such a car.
do you see vwhat i did there? blowvs it out of the vwater?
i slay myself.
so howv about coming and introducing yourselvwes? im itching to meet all of you avwesome people.

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[wtf is he reading.]

holy shit wwill you settle the fuck dowwn
first of all im far back on the time line
by my perspectivve i havvent evven died yet so ivve had NO fuckin wway a meetin you yet so there goes me leadin you on
kars and my relationship started here not evven back in our univverse
second wwhy the fuck wwould i pick you ovver him wwhen i dont evven fuckin knoww you
let alone him and i havve history some vvery intimiate history wwith each other so its quite blatantly obvvious to anyone wwith a wworkin SPONGE wwhy id pick him ovver you
and last but not least evven if you DID kill yourself youd appear fivve days later so nice try you piece a trash but i aint buyin that shit

howv can i possibly settle dowvn? youre telling me im not as good as vwantas.
howv could i possibly go on after that?
and youre not evwen givwing me a chance! if you did you vwould see that im so much better than him.
back vwhere im from you and i havwe a vwery intimate history too!
can you really blame me for being upset? the least you could do is havwe a little sympathy.
but instead youre just acting like all the others. using me and tossing me aside!
and you dont evwen havwe the decency to owvn up to it!

IVVE NOTHIN TO OWWN UP TO YOU STUPID FUCK
and of course im not gonna givve you a chance wwhen im in a happy matespritship already
are you daft
if i dont remember any a this i dont remember any of it thats just howw it is
i aint gonna change a damn bloody thing because you showwed up and are throwwin a fuckin tantrum tellin stories about US wwhich there isnt a US by the fuckin wway like im supposed to believve this crock a horseshit
WWHICH I DONT

and nowv youre accusing me of lying!
as if i vwould really make something like this up. im not a liar!
i tell nothing but the truth.
i think maybe its you thats lying, actually.
as if i really believwe that you are capable of getting a matesprit!
let alone vwantas.
hahaha silly me for actually believwing you for a moment.
vwantas isnt your type at all.

the FUCK is that supposed to mean
i am perfectly fuckin capable a landin me a matesprit
i aint lyin
also wwho the fuck do you think you are tellin me wwho is or isnt my type as if you dowwnright knoww anythin about me
piss off you scumlickin piece a filth

i think you knowv exactly vwhat it means!
it means that no one can appreciate us for vwhat and vwho vwe are! and youre just the same as me in that regard, dont deny it!
i knowv plenty about you, dont think i dont.
and it means i knowv perfectly vwell vwho is and isnt your type!
vwhich means i knowv for a fucking fact that vwantas is NOT your type.
i dont evwen think that karkat vwantas is anyones type!
but most especially not yours!
because i am your fucking type.
its me.
not him.

alright this is the part wwhere you shut the fuck up
got it

good
noww listen here you insufferable sack a bile youvve got no fuckin authority ovver me nor my relationship and i aint about to throww wwhat i got awway for your wwhinin pathetic trashy self
so wwhatevver claptrap youre intent on spewwin in my general direction SAVVE IT because ivve no interest and i wwont havve any fuckin interest any bloody time soon
DEAL WW IT

fine! if thats really howv you feel then i vwill just leavwe you alone!
but first i vwant you to put yourself in my shoes! howv vwould YOU feel if you vwere in lovwe vwith someone, only to havwe them ripped awvay from you?!
howv vwould you feel if vwantas vwas ripped awvay?
consider that for a moment and then decide if you really think im being such a horrible sack of bile or if my feelings are actually justified!
but of course you vwont actually do that, you vwill just disregard my feelings just like evweryone else!
so just nevwer evwen MIND.

are you evven fuckin serious right noww
out of all the trolls for you to fuckin say that to you say that to me
do you evven knoww wwhy i fuckin died you thickheaded bulgesucker
i had the girl of my dreams ripped out from under me by some mustardblooded scrap of filth and they basically rubbed their gleeful goddamn romance in my FACE
i spent a lonely 600 fuckin hours helpless to my owwn fuckin emotions wwhile all my fuckin friends basically abandoned me
i faced rejection after fuckin rejection and wwhen i tried to finally get my shit together and try to savve not only myself but her as wwell it ended in a showwwdowwn betwween me and her matesprit that evventually ended in me killin her me blindin her matesprit me killin a mutual friend and committin preemptivve fuckin genocide
and on top of it all i got fuckin sawwed the fuck in half
granted i havvent experienced my owwn death but i KNOWW wwhat happens alright
so yeah I DO FUCKIN KNOWW WWHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVVE SOMEONE YOU LOVVE RIPPED AWWAY
thats also WWHY THE FUCK i aint lettin kar go
so howw about you take your owwn advvice and think about howw the fuck i feel

[Z-snap]

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First Pickup Line; Text

[text] omg...

Re: [text] he has so many feelings!!

[text] Cronus pls

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