First Pickup Line; Text

[justnevwerevwen]

vwell vwell vwell.
i bet none of you knewv i vwas here did you? thats because unlike most of you chumps, i decided to vwatch and learn before i came crying to the netvwork like a total lamer!
and because i figured this vwould givwe me the most dramatic entrance. i alvways did like havwing a little flair.
so nowv that thats out of the vway, i can introduce myself properly to all you cats and kittens.
the names cronus ampora. this place blowvs the dream bubbles out of the vwater by far.
hahahaha im such a car.
do you see vwhat i did there? blowvs it out of the vwater?
i slay myself.
so howv about coming and introducing yourselvwes? im itching to meet all of you avwesome people.

Comments

[justnevwerevwen]

[He was nearly there! NEARLY THERE.

And then suddenly Terezi.]

Vwhoa! Pyrope's ancestor? Vwhat are you doing here? I'm afraid I don't havwe time to chat though, because I havwe a vwery important date that I havwe to get to! But if you vwant to hook up later...

[sniffdeceit]

I'm afraid that date won't be allowed!

[She shakes her head, pointing her cane at Cronus's chest.]

I have already claimed this human. The necessary dance of acceptance has been performed to the appropriate guardian and everything. [If you doubt her, just ask Bro.]

I would hate to have to face you in a trial-by-combat for dating rights.

[justnevwerevwen]

Dance of acceptance?

[What the hell is she talking about, he's never heard of any dances of acceptances! And he's the humankin here!],/small>

...Vwhat if vwe havwe a dance-off for his affection?

[sniffdeceit]

I don't think it works that way!

[Not that she's going to check and see if it does. She's pretty sure Bro makes up a lot of his rules anyway.]

Besides. [Here she taps her chest.] He prefers it if you have a pair of these.

[justnevwerevwen]

[When she says that last part, he just raises an eyebrow and folds his arms.]

Vwhat do those havwe to do vwith anything?

[...Though, he is staring at them now.]

[knightime]

What are you two doing?

[Cronus, those are the chest nubs of his girlfriend you're staring at.] I think you need to stop while you're ahead.

[sniffdeceit]

Hi, Dave!

[That's right. Dave should probably be a part of this discussion himself. It's only fair.]

I was simply maintaining my position in your flushed quadrant. Cronus doesn't understand human gender biases.

[justnevwerevwen]

[#vwhat if i stop vwhen i get head instead]

I understand it! I'm just... uh, human bisexual! That is totally a thing that I havwe become.

[knightime]

Hey, Terezi.

[W h y.]

I'm sorry, but I'm not human bisexual. I happen to be very human heterosexual. It's unfortunate, but true.

[sniffdeceit]

It doesn't work if it's only one way!

[Don't mind Terezi, Dave. She'll just be tossing an arm over your shoulder.]