Video - A very offended monster

[grombleness]

[When the feed opens, the Gromble is all smiles and sweetness. Even his voice is cloying, a stark contrast to his hideous appearance.]

Oh hello Vatheon. I must say, I've been oh so pleasantly surprised with how friendly the humans here are. Of course...

[Suddenly the sweet tone of voice is gone, replaced by something low and dangerous.]

It was clearly an act to put monsters off guard.

[He perks up again, tittering.]

Now I know you might not all be aware of this, so I'm going to give you a little lesson in monster history. Thousands of years ago, monsters were born from human imagination. Back then the human imagination was quite a powerful thing, you know. We hardly had to do any work at all. Unfortunately, humans now have become obsessed with science and refuse to openly believe in anything they don't understand. We monsters scare the humans to fuel their imagination, which in turn allows us to continue existing. A properly educated monster will only scare humans, they will not harm them. So!

I would like you all to bring any wayward monsters to me. Do not slaughter them and take their parts for jewelry or potion ingredients or points or for whatever other "loot" they might have. This questing behavior is really quite appalling, and you wouldn't want to harm a frightened creature who doesn't know any better...

WOULD YOU?!

Tata~

Comments

[thekidsare0kay]

wait wait wait.
bef0re i decide.
what l00t w0uld i get fr0m 2laughtering y0u?

[grombleness]

[He can text back, just watch.]

What typical human behavior. You will not get any "loot" from slaughtering me, I have been brought here by that silly coral the same as the rest of you.

[Sollux: now on his list for "people whose toilets I should pop out of in the middle of the night".]

[thekidsare0kay]

excu2e the fuck 0ut 0f y0u, i'm n0t human.
but calm y0ur rumble 2phere2, buddy, i wa2 ju2t kidding.

[grombleness]

You aren't? Well, that's fortunate for you. This whole situation may seem like a joke, but it isn't. Monsters being hunted for their parts is not a laughing matter.

and this was a pointless threadjack

[terribubbly]

O)( NO YOU DON'T, MIST-ER!
Glub glub glub GLUB GLUB. 38T
)(e's )(orridorabubble, you don't get to krill )(im!

[grombleness]

[Horridorabubble? He's not sure if he should be flattered by the "horror" or offended by the "adorabubble". Maybe that's just her way of saying he's horrific in an endearing way? He can appreciate that.]

It's good to see that SOMEONE around here practices what they preach.

[For all the "we should all work together!" the brochure spewed at him, he's noticed that most people tend to recoil from him. He does encourage that reaction of course, but still.]

[terribubbly]

It )(elps t)(at t)(ere really aren't enoug)( people around t)(at aren't )(uman!
It makes you particularly c)(arming! 38D

No threadjack is pointless

[thekidsare0kay]

i w0n't krill him!
i wa2 0nly j0king, jeez.

[terribubbly]

Good, because I like )(im!
And besides, Lamufao would just flip )(im from belly up to... belly down (???) in just five days! 38D

not here

[replicatedcourage]

[O-oh... he... hadn't thought about it like that. In fact, he hadn't given much thought to Gromble at all since their initial meeting, having gotten so caught up in all the quest shenanigans. But... he has a point. Monsters have feelings too, Sola knows that, but he'd gona off killing wolves and the like just like everyone else...

He's just gonna go in a corner and think about what he's done. His behavior might be a bit modified for the rest of the curse too.]

not here either

[grombleness]

[You should feel shame, you sorry excuse for a hero! There are monsters out there being harvested for parts right now.]

[ video ]

[beauchevalier]

[He may or may not be rolling his eyes internally at you, Gromble. Because your story is completely wrong and ridiculous at that too. But to be semi-nice, he'll humor you.]

Perhaps these facts may be how your world works, but not everyone's worlds work the same. So don't expect everyone to do what you ask of them.

[ video ]

[grombleness]

Oh, I certainly don't. "Shoot first, ask questions later" seems to be the prevalent human mindset. I am hoping there are at least a few people here with the decency to try talking first, but I suppose I shouldn't hold my breath~

[ video ]

[beauchevalier]

Well when some of us come from a world where monsters attack and try to kill the humans first, can you blame us humans for that mindset?

[ video ]

[grombleness]

It sounds as if the monsters in your world require some...

[His voice drops an entire octave.]

Education.

[pierrotdemonique]

Humanity does have quite the active imagination, wouldn't you say...? Leave them in the darkness and naturally they start to supply the answers all their own.

[ Have an amused smirk from this. ]

If you'll allow me to digress from the matter at hand. I have to admit, this is the first time I've come face to face with a self-confessed monster.

[ Because really, most "monsters" just tend to be low leveled demons. ]

[grombleness]

[There's something soothing about Mephisto. Most people would call it "unnerving", but the Gromble? No, not at all. It's almost like he's kin of some sort!]

We typically don't go announcing the fact. Humans fear what they don't understand, and supplying them with understanding is very dangerous for us. We wouldn't want to end up on one of their little lab tables somewhere. Though if I'm understanding the situation correctly here, this whole city is one big lab table, so there's no reason to dance around the facts.

[pierrotdemonique]

[ Fingertips tapping together as he takes this all in. He can appreciate the scientific edge. After all, he himself had dabbled in forbidden science for a bit. ]

They're a naturally curious race, I find. However, they indeed hold no limit with their curiosity and thus they end up biting off more than they can chew. But please, tell me more.

[ Leaning forward in his seat. ]

What's this about a properly educated monster? From one educator to another, I find myself intrigued.

[grombleness]

Well, back when monsters were first dreamed up, we were admittedly a little more... violent. Not that I think there's any harm in a good tussle, but we simply can't keep up with the sheer number of humans. We banded together around the time of the Renaissance and decided that we would only frighten the humans instead of attacking them from then on. It is somewhat difficult to overcome the nature they envisioned for us, but we just wouldn't be able to survive if they had reason to wipe us out.

[The Gromble starts skittering around his room in the dump. The only clean item in the entire room? His shining red pumps.]

Since scaring and running does not necessarily come naturally to a monster, we have a Monster Academy where young monsters learn to properly engage with humans. Monsters who do not conform are not allowed to go to the surface, and they are...

[He giggles.]

Well, they are punished accordingly.

[double_edged]

And if these monsters are a menace to the public and others? Are we to just sit by and allow it? What if they can't simply be contained?

[grombleness]

Has anyone even tried yet, or do you all just see these quests and go "oh, well if someone says I should go kill monsters, then I think I'll do that today!"?

[double_edged]

I don't follow 'quests', and I don't murder for sport. If something is a hazard, I dispose of it.

I can understand discrimination of a species, but these creatures seem to be purposely fabricated by the city itself. They are not sentient beings as you and I.

[howamanlives]

Huh.

You guys sound a bit like the Digimon where I come from. Except they're influenced by our emotions and stuff, not imagination.

[grombleness]

I don't know what a "digimon" is, so I can't say if we share any similarities.

[howamanlives]

Well, they all look pretty different. I've seen some that look like giant flowers, some that look like pigs, some that look like green blobs and throw really smelly shit at you...