caughtinanetwork | 1st record

alright so just kind of chilling here on the beach instead of some underwater city this info guide talks about
and you know thatd be kind of cool if it werent for one major issue
what the fuck just happened
seriously i think i just got whiplash from trying to figure out where that five minutes went so wrong
i mean the first time i got teleported randomly at least it wasnt just me
landed right on my ass confused as hell but i wasnt the only one
its easier to sit there and look like a tool when youre in a group trying to figure out what the hells going on
its lame to lay on a beach alone looking like a tool getting wet sand in places sand doesnt need to be

read over the whole welcome thing so ok cool i get it
stranger shit has happened i guess so why the fuck not
moving on to try and be somewhat productive here
sup names dave
tell me theres someone that knows me here cause itll make this shit a lot easier
or worse
idk i guess well see
like id say something is better than nothing but i can think of a lot of cases where that wouldnt really be true
so for better or worse i guess
isnt there like a saying or something that knowings half the battle
does that apply to this situation?
well it does now because i say so

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

BULLSHIT.
IF THAT USELESS BABBLE IS "COOL WITH IT" THEN I AM MY OWN MOTHER, WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR MORE REASONS THAN I CARE TO EXPLAIN FOR THE SAKE OF A JOKE.
I MEANT ABOUT THIS PLACE AND WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, STUPID.
I'VE LIVED HERE OVER TWO YEARS, AND EVEN IF I'M NOT THE FIRST FROM OUR SECTION OF EXISTENCE TO HAVE SHOWN UP, I AM THE ONE WHO'S BEEN AROUND LONGEST AND REMEMBERS THE MOST.
SPEAKING OF
I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT A POKEMON IS BUT CHOCOBOS ARE FINE.
I HAVE ONE, AND SO DO A FEW OTHER TROLLS HERE, AND YOU HAD ONE YOURSELF BEFORE.
YOUR "TEEN BRO" AND "TEEN MOM" ARE FROM THE POST-SCRATCH HUMAN SESSION.
JOHN AND JADE'S TEEN GRANDPARENTS ARE HERE TOO, FOR THAT MATTER.
AND THE OTHER PEOPLE WHO KNEW YOU TALKED TO YOU IN TIMES YOU WERE HERE BEFORE, BUT AS SAID, YOU JUST DON'T REMEMBER.
AS SOMEONE WHO GOT TRAPPED INTO TALKING BACKWARDS TO JOHN AFTER HE ALREADY HAD THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW ME, IT IS NOT THAT HARD TO DEAL WITH.
JUST TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF IF YOU NEED YOUR SPACE BECAUSE IT IS NOT A CRIME TO WANT A LITTLE BREATHING ROOM WHEN YOU'RE STILL DEALING WITH WHAT THIS PLACE EVEN IS.

lucky for you i actually get that joke and all the reasons behind it aside from the obvious
a pokemon is the eevee that jade has theres a metric fuckton of other species of them but no one knows if others are here or not i guess
sufferer said he was gonna give me back game bro so i dont have to worry about that and itll be pretty cool to have my own chocobo
already knew about the whole from the other session thing cause rose did a lot of research on it
doesnt make it any fucking less weird though
to be honest i dont really care much about this place
like the whole welcome brochure thing was enough to give me a gist on whats going on
not sure what else there would be to know other than realizing when i see the words nostalgia nook and laugh that ive been around trolls too long
i mean yeah on one hand a little breathing room would be nice but at the same time ive had nothing but breathing room for the past three years so its time to get off my ass man up and just deal with shit as it comes

HOW HAVE I BEEN HERE THIS LONG WITHOUT KNOWING SHE HAS ONE OF THOSE.
AND DID YOU SERIOUSLY NAME YOUR CHOCOBO "GAME BRO"?
WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT.
I'LL TELL YOU, IT'S NOT A NAME, IT'S AN EMBARRASSMENT.
IT MUST GO AROUND HANGING ITS HEAD IN SHAME AROUND YOU, KNOWING YOU FAIL HARDER AT PROPER NOMENCLATURE THAN YOUR SPECIES DOES AT SPACE TRAVEL.
BUT TELL ME, DOES THAT SHITTY LITTLE BROCHURE EVEN MENTION WHY WE'RE HERE?
BECAUSE I CAN TELL YOU THAT.

guess youre just not paying enough attention to jade
game bro is the name of an ironically shitty game magazine i used to critique on one of my blogs and its the perfect name for a god damned chocobo of all things
no idea how much of a feathery asshole it is yet cause i havent met it
sufferers the one whos known it since it was a chick apparently and im sure he could attest to the fact that it holds its head high in pride because its a motherfucking strider
and it didnt exactly give the why
just like the basics of what the fuck this place is and that were pretty much stuck and have to get used to it but theres some weird coral god thatll make sure we dont die

I HAVE A JOB AND A TON OF PEOPLE TO KEEP TRACK OF
CAN YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS ABOUT JADE'S OTHERWORDLY PET CREATURES.
AND NO, THAT MAKES THE NAME EVEN MORE SPONGENUMBINGLY ASSBRAINED THAN IT ALREADY WAS.
WHAT KIND OF TOOL KEEPS A BLOG IN THE FIRST PLACE.
ALSO, STRIDERS ARE UNIVERSALLY TOOLS, AND THE FACT THAT FRIENDSHIP HAS OCCURRED DOES NOT NOR WILL IT EVER NEGATE THIS.
BUT BACK ON THE MAIN SUBJECT, THAT MAKES THE BROCHURE BOTH SIMPLISTIC AND ALTERNATELY WRONG.
THE NATIVES WILL TELL YOU THE CORAL IS A GOD UNTIL THEY PASS OUT FROM LACK OF OXYGEN SUPPLY TO THEIR WOEFULLY UNDERDEVELOPED BRAINS, BUT A GOD IT IS NOT.
IT HAS SPECIAL POWERS AND JUNK AND IS PRETTY IMPORTANT, BUT IT FAILS TO REACH DEITY STATUS.
TRUST ME AS I 1) KNOW THINGS, 2) HAVE MET ACTUAL GODS IN MY TIME HERE, AND 3) HAVE TEMPORARILY BEEN A GOD MYSELF AND NO I DON'T MEAN GOD TIER.

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