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[The voice post begins with Cecil sounding quite...uncertain, even frightened] H-Hello? Night Vale? I certainly hope you can hear me.

I hope...someone, anyone, can hear me.

I seem to have fallen through some kind of interdimensional portal into a strange underwater city. I'm currently wet, which is quite irritating since my captors don't appear to have brought along my emergency disaster suitcase, or even a single change of clothing. But... I don't appear to be in any pain, or any obvious danger, actually. [His voice is slowly becoming stronger, and actually sounds quite normal at this point, sonorous, and calm]

I have arrived in a plaza at what I surmise to be the approximate centre of town. According to the literature the natives have provided to me, the coral at the centre of the plaza is named Lamufo, and is the dark god of this strange place.

The natives all appear to be extremely pleasant. At this point, I can only assume that this is meant to lull me into a false sense of security, before they devour me or sacrifice me to their deity. I certainly hope that I can find a way home before they do so.

If this message reaches you, Night Vale, please accept my apology. It seems that you may be deprived of my show for some time. Perhaps even...forever.

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[There's a sort of hesitant pause, and then he just plunges right in]

Well, you see, the angels are said to be ten feet tall, winged, and glowing with the power of their divinity. Not that I've actually personally seen an angel, because that's not permitted, and also, they don't exist. But I did talk to one on the phone once, and that description is pretty consistent across to many, many reports from around town as they go about their divine errands at the grocery store, and the bowling alley, you know. That kind of thing.

I'd have thought a demon would be, like, similar. And opposite. But not opposite in the way of being short. Tall, still, but more... evil.

Ohhhh...

.. okay, wait wait. How did you talk to one if they don't exist?

And where I'm from... well, demons come in all sizes, man. Shapes, too. Some are ugly fuckers with thousands of eyes and huge mouths, some are just animals that are demonic, and some possess human bodies and don't look any different from you or me-- ... well, me.

[Since he has no idea what Cecil looks like]

Point is... I'm pretty average. Only thing you're gonna find on me that you won't on some normal guy is this.

[He holds up the fluffy end of his black tail, waving it about.]

Oh...well. [Awkward] The Sheriff's Secret Police might get preeeetty testy with me about the whole 'talking to angels' thing, you know? Though I guess they aren't listening, here, so it's safe enough for me to tell you about them. Reeducation is not fun, believe me.

[At the fluffy tail, he chuckles] How cute! I think demons probably vary a lot in Night Vale, too. I'm no expert, though. Oh, sure, I make my weekly sacrifices on the radio station bloodstone circle, but I'm not really that religious. I don't serve any particular dark god.

... yeah that... really doesn't sound fun. At all. But uh you should be free to talk about whatever here. The nurses and the locals are a little creepy but that's about as far as it usually goes.

[Usually. Unless the bubble breaks. Or a curse turns the Head Nurse in to like a video game level boss.

'Cute' gets a scowl, but he doesn't bother throwing a fit about it. Having a girlfriend that uses that word on you tends to take the wind out of your sails pretty fast.]

... ain't that a little dangerous?

Well... honestly, isn't life dangerous? After all, you're guaranteed to die... well, at least, I presume you are. Unless you're immortal. But other than immortal people, everyone dies.

Not immortal. Might live a lot longer than most people, if I don't fuck up and do somethin' stupid to get myself offed early, but yeah... gonna die just like everyone else.

[he shrugs a little]

Sure life is dangerous, but why invite more if you don't have to?

Oh, I see. How interesting!

Believe me, not participating in bloodstone sacrifices is pretty dangerous, too.

Human body, human soul, at least accordin' to my girlfriend. It'll crap out sooner or later.

[just... raising his eyebrow over her again]

How is not participating dangerous?

Is there some reason you wouldn't be sure about that? Or is it your girlfriend who's an expert on souls?

[He draws a breath, lets it out. He's starting to realize that Night Vale isn't really like other places]

It's mandatory, at least back where I come from. The Sheriff's Secret Police makes people disappear if they don't do mandatory things. Understand?

Last one. Where she's from souls are a super big deal. Her and some of the other people from her world here can actually see some one's soul, what it looks like, if it's corrupted... it's pretty damn awesome.

Aaanyway the reason I wasn't so sure was 'cause everyone back home was all 'well demons don't have souls' so I thought... I mean I know I'm half but it was still somethin' I worried about.

[Neither is Death City, or True Cross, or anywhere, really...]

... Secret Police? I thought that shit went outta style with like, world wars or whatever.

I can't say I know whether demons have souls. Did it turn out that they do?

Night Vale definitely has a very real secret police force.

She told me I did, yeah. But Night, he's full demon and he doesn't have one. So... no. They don't, if they're just demons.

... and that... sounds super creepy.

Huh! That's pretty interesting.

...Does it? It seems pretty super normal to me.

It's creepy to me. My world would probably be pretty freaky to some one else. That's just how it is here.

Wow. So there's no secret police here? Who listens in on your conversations for the city council?

Well... not for city council, though. I think the scientists listen in but we are their experiments.

Right, right, the scientists. So they, like, run the place, too, right?

More or less. The Head Nurse is the one in charge down here, but she's...

[horrible]

... creepy.

Huh. Well, I'm looking forward to meeting her. I'm pretty curious.

[Rin is quiet for a long moment because, really, he's only ever heard stories. In two years he's managed to, by some miracle, not run afoul of the Head Nurse or cross her in any way.

Still...]

... good luck, man.

Thanks! I might need it.

I think you will.

[Voice]

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