[Voice]

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

[The voice post begins with Cecil sounding quite...uncertain, even frightened] H-Hello? Night Vale? I certainly hope you can hear me.

I hope...someone, anyone, can hear me.

I seem to have fallen through some kind of interdimensional portal into a strange underwater city. I'm currently wet, which is quite irritating since my captors don't appear to have brought along my emergency disaster suitcase, or even a single change of clothing. But... I don't appear to be in any pain, or any obvious danger, actually. [His voice is slowly becoming stronger, and actually sounds quite normal at this point, sonorous, and calm]

I have arrived in a plaza at what I surmise to be the approximate centre of town. According to the literature the natives have provided to me, the coral at the centre of the plaza is named Lamufo, and is the dark god of this strange place.

The natives all appear to be extremely pleasant. At this point, I can only assume that this is meant to lull me into a false sense of security, before they devour me or sacrifice me to their deity. I certainly hope that I can find a way home before they do so.

If this message reaches you, Night Vale, please accept my apology. It seems that you may be deprived of my show for some time. Perhaps even...forever.

Comments

[VOICE]

[bethehugejerk]

[The answering voice is scratchy, teenager-ish, and a bit louder than it should be.]

The concept, location, and any hint of why I should personally give a fuck about Night Vale presently escape me and will presumably do so for some time. You're not there; you're in Vatheon. Your show is hereby canceled from now until fuck knows when, too bad, cry to someone who cares.

And it's the Lamufao by the way, not Lamufo. One, it is not an actual deity. Two, the locals will not sacrifice you to it. They're usually pretty docile and dumb as a sack of hammers. Three, they will also not devour you, for the same reasons I just listed.

That is not to say there's nothing nefarious here, but it's usually better than crap like that.

[VOICE]

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

Ah, we have a response! Though it seems that you're one of the natives, and not one of my regular listeners. Nevertheless, thank you for your update, sir.

I wish to correct an error in my previous broadcast. Lamufao is the name of the giant coral in the plaza, and it is not a deity, though I'm unclear of exactly what it is. I regret the error.

May I ask to whom I'm speaking?

[VOICE]

[bethehugejerk]

... Broadcast? You're on a local network system, dipshit. Stop making "updates" about shit I just told you myself; it's pointless. And no, I'm not a native.

I'm Karkat Vantas, and I'm not even from the same universe as you.

[VOICE]

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

Sorry, Mr. Vantas. I'm not up on some of the internet 'lingo' that the young people are into, to be honest. [He chuckles goodnaturedly] Isn't my voice being projected to anyone who tunes in?

You're not from this place, or from Earth? [The emphasis isn't surprise in the least, just clarification. He's not in the least bit shocked to learn that Karkat isn't from his universe] What do you call your home?

[VOICE]

[bethehugejerk]

So you're even more of a technological retard than most humans. Thank you, this is exactly what I wanted to deal with. I'm not even going to try explaining.

[He huffs a sigh.]

"Home" is kind of a vague concept right now, but I am originally from Alternia. Not that my species stuck to it; post-maturity we'd leave the planet to join the forces of intergalactic conquest, and beyond that my species is next-to-extinct due to quote-unquote "shenanigans". Imagine me making tiny enclosure talons with my fingers.

voice

[onlyasign]

[Sufferer sees that Karkat has most of the introduction to Vatheon part down, so he doesn't bother with it. This second voice is very similar to the first, except calmer and far less shouty.]

I can bring you a towel, if you'd like something to dry off.

voice

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

That's very kind of you to offer. Gosh, what a congenial little town you have here. I'm Cecil, by the way, and you are...?

voice

[onlyasign]

My name is Sufferer, and it's a pleasure to meet you, Cecil. Are you in the Plaza?

Re: voice

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

Sufferer. Sorry if I seem a bit insensitive, but that's an odd name. Where does it come from?

I'm in the Plaza, though I won't be here long. I'm told that clothing is free, so I think it's shopping time!

[Video]

[zipperlips]

[Sacrifices to a dark god? What a weird assumption to make. Whatever kind of place Night Vale was, it sounds very much like a kind of Carnival hub. Only with more subjubblator equivalents out in the open.

One thing is for sure, if any religious sacrificing goes on in Vatheon, it won't be the work of the average local. Which is why Kurloz adopts a confused expression and shakes his head. Those aren't very accurate statements this guy is making.]

[Voice forever]

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

Greetings, sir. [He doesn't sound surprised to see a horned person in face makeup and his mouth stitched closed] Can you hear?

[Video forever]

[zipperlips]

[He looks irritated, but nods. He wouldn't have bothered responding if he couldn't. Cecil may be a beloved radio host in Night Vale, but that doesn't have anything to do with Vatheon.]

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

[He nods back, though of course Kurloz can't see it] Good, good, I just wanted to be sure your ears hadn't been ritualistically mutilated, since I can't see them under all that hair. Though I suppose you would have been less likely to respond to my broadcast if they were, it's not impossible.

How can I help you, sir? Feel free to convey your desires in gestures and/or sign language, and I'll do my best to interpret your signals.

video;

[croceamors]

They are meant to lull you into a false sense of security. On that matter, you're quite correct. I don't believe cannibalism or sacrifice is their intent, however.

voice forever

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

My, that's an attractive scar you have there, sir. Any idea what their intent actually is?

cecil you nerd

[croceamors]

[Just an eye narrow at the mention of his scar, but he doesn't comment on it.]

Experimentation. From what I understand, it has something to do with harvesting emotions.

Yes?

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

[He meant it fully and sincerely. Honestly, this man is pretty attractive. Nice eye candy on his government-issued starfish iPhone thingy. He's not going to complain.]

Ahh, now that makes sense. How do they do it? The usual sort of invocations? Mind-leaches? Or do people simply disappear and are never seen again?

video;

[keepsthefire]

[Devour or sacrifice to a deity? Sure the natives are a little unnerving but that's the first time Rin's ever heard that bad of an opinion of them...]

... no one's gonna eat you, dude.

[says the teenager with the fangs

that's not as comforting as you might think, Rin]

Yeah the locals are kinda... not there, but that's a bit much, doncha think?

voice forever

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

[Cecil isn't discomfited in the least by fangs, tbh. In fact, it's possible that if Rin ever sees his face, he'll have fangs himself. Who knows?

He sounds faintly surprised in response to Rin's question] Do you think so?

video forever~

[keepsthefire]

[Oh good. At least he's not freaking out.]

Well... yeah. I mean, way to not give them a chance. Just gonna jump right in to the worst ideas? Not very nice to the people you're gonna be stuck with.

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

You know, Carlos usually tells me I'm optimistic. Anyway, I can think of a lot of worse things than being ritually sacrificed. Such as being forced to exist in the moment of agonizing death for all eternity, screaming and writhing and caught in an endless hell of overwhelming pain, unable to even achieve the release of oblivion.

[Voice]

[dontsaymyname]

[ This one sounds cute. Barry can't help but respond back to such a soothing voice, especially at the mention of sacrifice though he's no deity. ]

I see you're new here. I hate to tell you this, but where ever Night Vale is, I don't think they can hear you anymore.

Welcome.

Re: [Voice]

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

Right... so I'm told. They'll have to do without me for a while, I guess. [Sigh]

Thank you! My name's Cecil. And you...?

[Voice]

[dontsaymyname]

[ It was only a first name, but Barry would take it for now. ]

From what I understand, when you return it will be as if you've never left. That makes you feel better doesn't it?

[ There was a hint of a smile in Barry's voice. ]

Call me, Barry~

Re: [Voice]

[goodnightsweetlisteners]

[It's entirely possible that Cecil only has one name, sorry Barry]

You know? That does make me feel better! I did have a few things I was looking forward to.