caughtinanetwork | Sermon Two

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Sermon Two

[Signless has chosen his location carefully; when he turns on the video function, there's a wall of water behind him, and a school of brightly colored tropical fish swimming past. He's very clearly in the bubble again.]

My friends, today I want to talk to you about fear.

[His voice is low and soothing, his story-telling voice.]

I have known great fear in my time. In my world, the color of my blood was a source of fear, something that drove me into hiding for a long time. Then, when I dreamed of the world that could be, rather than the world that was, I was afraid again... afraid that I would never see what I knew we were capable of come to pass. I was afraid to speak out, afraid to make a ripple in the still, stagnant waters of our society, and tried instead to live my meager little life underneath the notice of the highbloods.

But then I saw what my silence was doing, what those in similar positions were suffering, and I knew I could not stay silent. I could not sit idly by while our world rotted away from its very core, while its corruption bled away the talents and very lives of so many trolls who had done nothing beyond being hatched the wrong color. I could not wait for another to come along and demand change, or I would wait the rest of my life. I needed to cast aside my fear, to find a reserve of strength within me, and rise to what my world needed me to be.

[His voice falls, becoming hushed and soft, almost painfully honest, and he looks down, his cloak hiding his eyes.]

I was terrified. Casting off fear is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Fear is something I knew, its cold comfort as familiar to me as my guardian's face. It would have been... easy to live my entire life in fear, I thought.

[He looks up then, and his eyes are burning, his voice strong once more.]

I thought that fear was a cloak to hide me, but it was a chain I wore around my neck. When the fear was gone, when I made the decision to cast it aside, I have never felt so free in my entire life. It was how I imagine it must feel to wake up one morning with wings, and look out the window into an endless sky. When the fear was gone, I could breathe a deep breath for the first time in my life, and look to the future not as an ominous, foreboding thing, but as a path bathed in light and redemption.

I am not afraid any longer, Vatheon. This is my home now, and it is worth fighting for. I will not be driven out of my home again. I will not let fear control me.

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[His lips reluctantly turn up into a small smile, dipping his head down, suddenly being aware of the weight of his horns as he grazes a thumb over the other trolls cool flesh. Comforting, he never thought he'd be so comforted by this troll, a blueblood, someone so rigid and at times... servile, it was frustrating when he saw Darkleer so easily comply to the will of those he thought to be 'higher'. Certain things could so easily turn him off to Darkleer's presence, but for some reason they didn't. Even in this current vulnerability, he felt pity for him. Such a strong troll, who holds so much power, how he lets himself wallow.]

[A deep breath, holding his hand still, still worried about his wings, his wings her cares so much for, and... Darkleer seems to feel the same about them, even if they aren't his. Aren't his own appendages. Lysunder's ears flick, remembering something Dural said.]

What- what do you think of them?

[Darkleer is lost in his own thoughts in the silence. It's been a while since they've had such a quiet moment between one another. He'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy them. There's certainly a lot to love, but it's quiet moments like these that are truly where he can see all the ways to pity him. It's a fresh, welcoming reminder every time, only now he's more aware of it than ever. More aware than just acknowledging the crack in what everyone else could see as a reckless and foolish braggart of an orangeblood.]

[The question catches him a bit off-guard, and Darkleer blinks as he looks up.]

What I think of them? [It's obvious he doesn't quite know where the conversation is going. In the trees, Dural gives a satisfied coo.] Do you mean your wings?

[Another ear twitch, he heard that, Dural, suddenly getting a bit brighter orange as he opens his mouth, closing it again as he finds the words.]

Yes.

[All he manages, slightly hating that only a single word left, the trees doing more speaking as they rustle and move about them. Summoner's eyes open just slightly, looking down to the ground before finally flicking up to look at Darkleer, expression shy. Oh, he'd curse himself if he could see his own face right now. But... he's honestly interested, interested in what the other has to say, Darkleer's opinion felt like... it felt like it was important. And for some reason 'freak' still echoes in his think pan. He wants to drown it out.]

[The advantage of his glasses is that they allow him to stare as long as he likes without it being too strange. This almost feels like a test of some sort, but one that he wants to genuinely succeed in. That expression on his face makes him want to succeed.]

[Once his heart has stopped fluttering and his thoughts have smoothed out into something of an orderly fashion, Darkleer begins to quietly answer.]

I think... they are rather beautiful, truth be told. The anatomy of any living things, whether troll or horse or insect, is always amazing in some way. There are so many things a body is capable of, even at its most basic nature with no mechanical or psionic modifications, no mutation... It can do and go through so much.

[He's starting to light up again, just like when Summoner asked him long ago about what he was working on. Without really thinking about it, he leans in closer.]

Nature is amazing. Almost any kind of technology we've developed, somewhere, whether on Alternia or in some other planet entirely, some plant or animal or little bacteria no one has even thought about has done it first, sometimes even better! Just look at insect wings, at your kind of wings- [A brief, fluttering gesture to them.]

Do you know how many sweeps it took for trolls to understand the science behind the way the wings of insects worked? Actual perfect knowledge, not just vague ideas? Lifetimes, even for highbloods, and all that time, they were, more or less, the only invertebrates capable of flight, and they performed fantastically, still do!

[A pause to catch his breath, and his face is dusted blue now as well, a sign of his excitement about the subject.]

And you have such marvelous examples of flight for yourself... All those complex veins, the joints, everything, it's amazing.

Even the color adds to the beauty of it. Just- it adds to you, you're always so eyecatching and wanting people's eyes to be on you, and it is as if you body has the same ideas, filled with that starfire that you're apparently made of. And- And it does do something, it's simply proven scientific fact that colors have an effect on an individual's emotional and mental state, no matter how low or high the color is according to the hemospectrum. The Empress herself could deny it and try to make such facts 'illegal', but science can't be controlled by moral or societal values, it doesn't care about such things! It doesn't care if we don't understand it, it simply does it until we figure it out and keeps going. And what we've figured out about lowblooded colors, about warm colors, is that it tends to, generally, excite us, catch our attention, and you already do that, this almost seems ridiculously excessive, but you somehow fit it, don't make it seem excessive at all except when you're purposefully acting the idiot, which you aren't, we both know that-

[He's babbling. Just a bit. Also grinning, maybe a bit too much, but this is a subject he loves, a subject that's always been close to his heart. Because engineering and nature, they made sense. They were steady and reliable. Not like other trolls. Not like highblood politics or society. Technology and nature, such two opposites but the two things which made his childhood bearable.]

I should think it goes without mention that you don't care about you're bloodcolor at any rate, and you could not be more obvious about your pride for it if you hung flags from your horns declaring it. The color reminds me just a bit of the fireflies in the fields near my hive when I was young, as well, although I suppose you have the advantage of not lighting up from your posterior, which would be a much more unfortunate kind of mutation, I do not think that needs to be made any more obvious-

-And I really do not need to be any more blatant in my babbling, my apologies.

[He finally caught on and coughs into his fist, pulling back. His expression settles back to the usual.]

I really should check on the damage for your wing.

[O-oh...]

[Oh

...dear lord.]

[The whole time Summoner's body was just stiffening, his shoulders shrugging inwards, eyes slowly widening as he watches, head slowly lowering closer to his chest. It was as if he was collapsing in on himself, having no idea how to really respond otherwise. His experience with other trolls is so limited, though it seems to expanse. When he was a child the only interactions he had with anyone were all animal, never trolls, so he hasn't gotten time to get to know that many trolls indepth, to know the extent if personalities possible, to know that someone could be this fucking perfect how is this even possible someone just put a lance through his face before he dies of embarrassment.]

[He can feel his body shaking a little, even his wings had started to wilt behind him, but not out of sorrow. Perhaps it could be called fear, fear of someone this intrigued, fear of someone with something he could honestly relate to, fear of this being like some kind of trap. It felt like a trap, but when he really focused on Darkleer's face as he spoke, his ears listening to words a thousand miles per minute, he couldn't help but feel completely and entirely enamored. Perhaps, though, that was why he was scared. Scared that he could be feeling that, scared and extremely embarrassed because he knew his expression said it all. Lysunder was aware of how easily read he could be when hit of his guard. But ...still.]

You, er, hnnnnnnnnnnnnnn how are y-y-you even like this... how is that possible

[All he manages before swallowing. How is he, how is he like this, why is this man all right with sitting in the dark all his life, all right with not sharing that sense of wonder and awe Summoner saw on his face as he spoke. Why would anyone allow themselves to live such a sad and dark life when they had such a light in their mind like that, it was depressing, Darkleer was depressing, and beautiful, and wonderful, and oh god why is everything numb, why can't he feel anything. It's like butterflies infested him and took control of he muscles and nerves and everything feels really warm. Please let him not look as stupid as he feels right now. Because he knows he's shrunk in on himself, he knows he completely orange right now, and he can't remember the last time he blinked.]

You- you don't have to apologize. [Breath.] Thank yo-oo... Thanks.

I just... I just have an appreciation for nature.

[Like an echo, he finds his own voice trailing into nothingness as well, mouth hidden behind his hands. Flushed from his ears to his throat, Darkleer tilts his head slightly away. He keeps his eyes on Summoner, however. He can't help it. How could he not? That expression isn't one he can just let escape. It's one he needs to sear into his mind forever. Those wide amber eyes, that bronze flush that's taken over almost every bit of skin Darkleer can see, the way his lips move so quickly and clumsily as he stutters, the way his ears twitch and wings lower and how can anyone be like this? That is his question right back. So beautiful, whether his wings are flared with pride and there's a confident smirk on his face as he presses him up against a wet wall, or whether he's drawn in on himself, fairly gasping for breath as he scrambles for words to say, cheeks hot.]

[Darkleer wants to touch that warm face, wants to slide his fingers against Summoner's cheeks and feel how he'll practically melt into molten slag if he doesn't have a colder body up against him, Darkleer would bet solid money that's how hot those cheeks are. He wants to lean in closer and watch as those eyelids flutter as Summoner's gaze flicks from him to anywhere but, all embarrassment and fragile love. He wants that lithe body against his as he kisses him, their lips sliding against each other perfectly just like all the times before. He wants to moan into his mouth and hear him, feel him, moan back before his fingers dug into his shirt.]

[Darkleer wets his lips nervously and nearly tries. Summoner is a beautiful contradiction to the entire world he knows, and it is hardly fair to feel him burn him throughout his body like this with no relief.]

[Taking a deep shuddering breath, Darkleer moves behind him.]

I... I'll just check for any signs of infection and see about those plates.

Edited 2012-03-05 23:18 (UTC)

[As Darkleer settles behind Summoner, breath warm across the back of his neck by complete accident, he will swear upon it, there's a flap of heavy wings in the air. A certain lusus lands upon the ground in front of Summoner and holds herself up high. Certainly a little diva if there ever was one.]

[Her body language is obvious for anyone, even those who couldn't commune.]

[Yeah, that's right, Mama knows best, admit it. When her little babies score hot ass tonight, you know who to thank, Summoner. You know who to fucking thank.]

[For once in his life he is not thinking about all these deep sexual needs. Try not to bring them up though, because once he starts thinking about them, he won't be able to stop with ho emotional he is right now. And he does feel like he could just melt away, feels like he will either melt into a thick, molten pile of goo or completely burn up and fall to ash. Darkleer's words really did something to him, and as much as that one word had echoed, it's gone now. A harsh word of a blue blood, completely stifled for the time being by another blueblood's words of wonder directed at him and at nature. He's just... burning up, but even in his deep thoughts he couldn't help but lean towards Darkleer when he leaned closer to him. He could feel their temperature difference when they were that close, and again when he feels a breath at the back of his neck.]

[In that moment he wants him again. It doesn't seem right to want someone that bad, it's like an entrancing power. Like Mindfang's mind control, but unlike it, he enjoys it, wants this muscular god of a blue blood to just take him and show him that rapture he sees everytime they press close. Summoner's eyes glass over and he cranes his neck down slightly, expression a little darker, almost feral as he thinks about it, fangs snagging his lip. But the thought is cut short when he sees Dural land infront of him and he leans back a little, eyes opening and focusing on her.]

...That is not a thing that is necessary... Dural.

[An breathy few words, sighing out deep. Sorry, bird, your input in this little meeting seemed to have to opposite effect on Summoner. Animals calm him down, and he's definitely calming out of that sudden urge to ravage the blue blood troll currently inspecting his wings.]

[Dural puffs up indignantly, but she smooths back when Darkleer suddenly leans in closer, chin brushing against one of Summoner's horn and some red strands tickling his cheek.]

Hush now, little bird, off with you.

[There's a soft coo before she grudgingly takes off again, disappearing further into the canopy. As the rustles fade, Darkleer sighs against Summoner's ear.]

See what happens when you encourage her so? Anyway. I believe your wings will heal on their own. There isn't any need to worry. Just don't fly, and the process will be quick.

[A slight twitch, suddenly feeling the brush against his horn. Summoner pulls in a deep breath, trying to keep his head straight, even with the other leaning so close. Soon a nod, and his sylladex opens up, dropping some thick medical wrap in his hand.]

Yeah.. uh, thank you. Though telling me not to fly is certainly a lot easier than actually not flying.

[A rather sad sigh before he starts to work the gauze out of the wound coil, beginning to wrap his newly slashed chest and side, working his hands around his back as best he can while still avoiding his wings.]

I know. I apologize for that, I do.

[Pulling back, he thinks for a moment. This is silly, it is really quite ridiculous, but...]

Would... you like to stay at my hive while it heals?

[He stops, wings lowering slightly.]

[A glance back.]

...What?

Edited 2012-03-06 00:22 (UTC)

Well, the children are still upstairs, or at least a majority of them are. I do not receive many visitors...

Just for a day or two perhaps.

[Darkleer isn't looking at Summoner, but he does run his hand through his hair.]

Perhaps it would help you get used to not relying on your wings so much until they've healed properly.

[His arms lower, staring at the grass infront of him for a moment. He's not sure if he's all right with change his reliance on his wings into a reliance on Darkleer, or any one person for that matter.]

[But-]

All right. Guess that is a thing I can do.

Oh.

[The sound is kind of far-off and dazed, and Darkleer just spends a moment blinking in soft bemusement at Summoner.]

[Then, after another moment-]

Really?

Uh, yeah, sure. That is a thing I just said, I'm pretty sure.

[Closes his eyes, finishing the winding motion of his arms and hands as he nears the end of his wrapping. He quickly pins it, inspecting his chest and sides before slowly folding his wings with just a small twitch.]

You sure that's something you are okay with? [A raise of a brow, turning a little more to glance in Darkleer's direction.]

Oh, no, no- I mean, yes, I'm quite certain I am okay with it.

[He tries to look away to hide the shy smile on his face.]

I... suppose I must admit that I am quite pleased with this outcome.

[And there's that smirk, gliding over his lips, seeing Darkleer shy away like that. Summoner turns around, making sure to not thunk his horns on the other troll, or hit him with his wings, and soon he's facing him. A hand glides forward, curling finger tips around Darkleer's collar and gives it a small jerk, tugging him a little closer.]

Think I'd rebull against the idea?

Edited 2012-03-06 00:44 (UTC)

[Oh.]

Goodness.

[The word is breathed out as Summoner pulls him closer and Darkleer feels his heart flutter. And right back around again... Although Darkleer cannot say he complains much.]

Well, you can be a fickle thing, I must admit to that as well.

Fickle? Me? Of course not.

[Snickers, rubbing his nose against Darkleer's before pulling his hand away and sitting straight.]

Thanks though, I uh, I really appreciate it.

[You know what's actually really nice? The nose rubbing is nice.]

Well, I aim to please.

So... Would you like to stay here a while longer?

[Nose rubbing, just another thing he's learned from animals, whoops.]

Let's... let's do whatever you want to do. [Smile.]

Very well...

[Tentatively, he gives a very small and unsure smile back.]

Then... Here. Just for a while longer.

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