caughtinanetwork | 039 ♋ [TEXT]

IT IS MIDMORNING AND HERE I AM DEALING WITH SUCH AN APPALLING LACK OF COMPETENCE THAT IT IS A BROADSIDE FLAT OUT FUCKING MIRACLE THAT I EVER SUMMON THE PATIENCE TO DEAL WITH ANY ONE OF YOU DUNDERING SHITHEADS.
I JUST WANTED TO DO ONE THING
ONE LITTLE THING!
ONE TINY INSIGNIFICANT THING AMONG THE MANY I WILL DO IN THE COURSE OF NIGHT AND DAY CONSTITUTING "FRIDAY"
AND YET HERE, BECAUSE OF SOME DOUCHEBAG ALONG THE LINE OF HOW POINT A GOT TO POINT B, I CAN'T DO THAT.
IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK TO HAVE A DAY GO RIGHT WITH NO ISSUES.
IS IT SUCH A GODDAMN CRIME THAT I WOULD LIKE TO EVEN HAVE A SMOOTH MORNING TO START OFF THE DAY PORTION OF THIS PARTICULAR SECTION OF THE HUMAN WEEK.
ARE ASSHOLE POLICE WAITING OUTSIDE MY DOOR AND ARREST ME FOR CRIMES OF WANTING A LITTLE DECENCY IN THE QUALITY OF EVERYDAY LIFE I EXPERIENCE??
BECAUSE I SWEAR TO PAST ME
(FYI I WAS A GOD EARLIER THIS MONTH, SUCK IT IF YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM)
THAT I WILL SHOVE MY SHOES SO FAR UP THEIR HEINOUS WHISTLING WASTE CHUTES IF THEY DARE TO GIVE ME AN OUNCE OF SHIT OVER WANTING A LITTLE NORMALCY TODAY THAT THEY WILL TASTE THE DIRT ON MY SOLES.
SAY, ONCELER OR HOWEVER THAT NAME IS SPELLED.
(WHAT SORRY EXCUSE FOR HUMAN PARENTS CLOBBERED THEMSELVES OVER THE HEAD WITH BRICKS LONG ENOUGH TO EVEN THINK THAT WAS CLOSE TO APPROACHING ACCEPTABLE NAME MATERIAL?)
(IT'S ONCE WITH A LER ADDED ON, THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.)
DID YOU EVER FIND OUT HOW THE SUPPLY LINE WORKS FOR THIS PLACE
WHO MAKES WHAT AND HOW IT GETS HERE?
BECAUSE I SWEAR WHETHER PAINSTAKINGLY HANDCRAFTED, MACHINE MANUFACTURED, OR MAGICALLY ENGINEERED
(ERIDAN I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT YOUR SCIENCE OBSESSION THIS MORNING SO SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR CHUTE.)
I WILL HUNT DOWN THE PANDEAD JACKASS RESPONSIBLE FOR WHATEVER LINE OF CONSTRUCTION WENT INTO MAKING THIS ANGEL-CURSED FUCKING TOASTER AND DELIVER A STEAMING TIRADE OF HOT SCREW YOU DOWN HIS/HER/I DON'T CARE'S AURICULAR CANALS.
HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO JUST MAKE A TOASTER RIGHT????????
JEGUS CHRIST.
AND THE MOST DAMNING ASPECT OF IT ALL
THE THING THAT HAS CRAWLED UP MY NOOK, STUCK, AND DIED THERE TO BE A FESTERING PAIN UNTO THE EONS
IS THAT OF THE SINGULAR (JUST ONE!) SLICE I TRIED TO MAKE, ONLY ONE LITTLE CORNER GOT BURNED.
HOW DO YOU EVEN MESS UP THAT PRECISELY.
I AM SITTING HERE BOGGLING IN INFINITE BEFUDDLEMENT OVER HOW THIS GREAT STONKING TOOL MANAGED THAT DOOZY OF A COCK-UP.
IF IT HAD BEEN ANY WORSE I COULD HAVE THROWN THE TOASTER OUT COMPLETELY AS A HUNK OF USELESS, APPLIANCE-SHAPED SCRAP, BUT UP UNTIL TODAY THIS THING HAS WORKED WITH RELATIVELY LITTLE ISSUE.
SO WHY, FUCKING WHY, IS TODAY OF ALL DAYS THE ONE I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS UNMITIGATED BULLSHIT?
I SHOULD GO HUNT DOWN THE SALES DOUCHE RESPONSIBLE FOR HAWKING THIS PIECE OF CRAP TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE AND GRADUALLY VERBALLY CHOKE THE BASTARD ON THE SEVERAL PIECES OF MY MIND THIS INCIDENT HAS EARNED.
AND IF ANY ONE OF YOU EGREGIOUS BULGELICKS HAS SOMETHING STUPID TO SAY ABOUT THIS INCIDENT AS I KNOW YOU WILL, BE WARNED THAT IT WILL NOT BE WITHOUT EARNING THE SAME FATE.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

ROXY, I AM A TROLL.
THERE ARE COUNTLESS THINGS I CAN DO THAT FALL UNDER THE TITLE OF TROLLING.
IT IS A SAFE BET TO SAY THAT I AM TROLLING YOU MORE OFTEN THAN I'M NOT.
THIS DOES NOT, FOR THE RECORD, NEGATE ANY OF THE PRESENT FRUSTRATION AND ANGER I HAVE FELT AND EXPRESSED.

but isnt the point of trollin to liek own me
make me rise to ur bait n stuff

DON'T YOU DARE PRESUME TO INFORM ME WHAT THE POINT OF TROLLING IS.
TROLLING IS A VARIED AND NUANCED THING THAT YOUR MINISCULE HUMAN THOUGHT ORGAN CANNOT HOPE TO WRAP ITSELF AROUND.
BUT IF IT MATTERS SO MUCH, YES, IN THIS CASE IT IS
AND YET INSTEAD OF REACTING TO IT IN ANY PROPER WAY YOU'RE BEING A GIGGLING GLOBESACK WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO SHUT UP.

ill stop talking when u stop talking kitten

I WON'T STOP UNTIL YOU CALL ME MY ACTUAL NAME.

then welcome to the longest convo of ur life

JUST SAY MY NAME ALREADY, LALONDE
IT'S NOT HARD.

my name already

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT.

|:B

NO.
NO WINKING.
STOP THAT.

fuckin
wonk

THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD!

bonafied rolalism

ROWHAT.

rolalism
rolal
thats me
ism

WHAT KIND OF DUMBASS NICKNAME IS ROLAL.

its my name duh
ROxy LALonde

THAT'S STILL DUMB.
IF ROSE WERE STILL HERE THAT COULD APPLY EQUALLY TO HER.

Edited 2012-09-01 01:47 (UTC)

omg no shes a hero u call her rose
or if ur me
u call her mom

SHE'S NOT A HERO, SHE'S A SARCASTIC, SNIPPY BOOKSHREW WHO WANTED TO BLOW HERSELF UP.

shes a hero who rebelled against the batterwitch and stabbed out the antichrists eyes with needles before riding him over a waterfall like he was a fuckin bronco

WHAT? NO.
THAT NEVER HAPPENED.
AND WHAT THE HECK IS AN ANTICHRIST.

(no subject)

oceanbreasts - 2012-09-01 02:00 (UTC) - Expand

bethehugejerk - 2012-09-01 02:28 (UTC) - Expand

oceanbreasts - 2012-09-01 02:45 (UTC) - Expand

he wouldn't be so dickish if not for the curse fdghdsk

bethehugejerk - 2012-09-01 17:19 (UTC) - Expand