caughtinanetwork | 003 ☠ video/action

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003 ☠ video/action

_{[ Evening, Network. It's been awhile since you've seen this kid on the network, but here he is. The video starts with him trying to adjust the communicator on the coffee table in the living room of his residence, though it falls over and there's an obvious "aw devilshits" in the darkness.
Ok, try again.
Looks like we're being picked up again and we see two curious green eyes behind thick, rectangular glasses. He sets the communicator up on a hard surface again and then steps back, muttering something incoherent to himself before he steps back and adjusts himself a little.

This is Jake. This is Jake with his hair actually combed and his face free from dirt and bruises. He's a bit over dressed for the communicator, wearing this. Just where the hell did he get that anyway?

The teen shuffles back against the living room sofa, the area brightened up by a mere lamp. Then, he lounges, crossing one ankle over the other and we see he's still wearing his combat boots. What a nerd. ]}

Greetings fellow residents. Uhmm.

_{[ Oh wait. He's pulling out a piece of paper now. It's obvious he's shaking by the way he's holding it and he reads off of it. ]}

If I am not terribly mistaken, the holiday known as Valentine's Day is coming up within a duo weeks, and it would be my greatest honor to escort an individual on this day. It is absolutely peachy if you want this not to be anything too, uhm, forward on the romancing spectrum, but rather just one of comradery, especially if I am unacquainted with you.

_{[ A deep breath. He withdraws from his pocket a handkerchief and paps his face down a little. He lowers the paper and looks at the camera. ]}

I've never celebrated Valentine's Day, so, uhhhhhh. I don't want to be alone for this holiday. And while friends and what have you are absolutely splendid, it is customary to have a specific date if I am understanding correctly. I guess.. that's it? I'm asking in advance so may chance we can get to know each other first, or plan accordingly on schedule. I'll make sure to take care of the dinner one way or another!

_{[ He'll be spearing fishes and preparing it that way, jsyk. ]}

Uhhh, shoo. Well, thanks.

_{[ /end personal advertisement. He'll reach way over and click the communicator off. ]

[ Action available for room mates! ]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[STARING.....]

Erisol--What? No, my name's Eridan you halfwit!

_{[ It takes Jake the longest time to reply considering he's doing his best to double filter and private this video response the best of his ability. The video comes back on and Jake is in his room with all the doors bolted shut. Jake seems ecstatic to see you. ]}

Mister Erisolsprite! Sweet Satan's beard am I enthusiastic to see you! I've been missing you so much, I don't think you can comprehend how much I've missed and how much I want to see you in person! Well, alright, granted, you aren't completely Erisolsprite. It looks as if you are the side of him that was douchier, but I cannot help but see your face and think of my dear friend, Mister Erisolsprite! What a comedian!

Look, considering you're half* the fellow I used to converse with, I really hope you don't mind if I dump a horse shit load of malarkey on your shoulders to burden right now because I'm really in quite a predicament and you were always such a pick me up back on Xenon.

_{[ A breath. ]}

I have this, friend, well, I think he's my friend but actually more of a boyfriend. At least, he's my paramour back where I came form and he's here presently in this universe but he's from a completely different date. And to be frankfully honest, I do like the guy, I do, a lot. It was one of those: oh shitknickers, I think I might be falling for a guy but that's never happened before! Not even with the handsome hunk actors that I feast my googly mooglies on.
And yet, I feel he has very strong attractions towards me in an almost bullying manner to I agreed to go out with him and now I don't precisely feel like I'm suited for the role. It's as if you cast Sean Connery to play the part of Lloyd in Dumb and Dumber; it just doesn't mesh right even though he's a crowd pleaser and even though he was given a gusto amount of money for his attempt, he just isn't happy playing some dope who doesn't have a life and finds a briefcase that leads to the almost girl of his dreams. He'd rather be sinking submarines or being Indiana Jones' father!

Does that make a bleeding ounce of sense? --
Alright, well, now he's here and I'm in close proximity with him but I've even sort of dodging him a bit because I was doing the same ting back during the Sburb session. Since he's here, should I tell him we are lovers in another world but tell him it's best we not ever date again or should I take it all with a grain of salt and hope that maybe it's just a problem that will sort itself out and that way I can see him as a normal person here and a friend and then if he asks me out here I'll have an answer to his question and say: oh but we're a shit couple in another universe; it probably wouldn't tickle your fancy?

On top of that, I think I'm pining for a girl who said she doesn't have an interest in me. What should I do?

_{[ *Author's note: half was not intended to be a pun. Thank you. ]}

[Wow... Just... wow.]

[And after a second to try and sort any of that out, because wow that's a lot of bullshit he didn't care to hear.]

Okay first off, I don't giwe a biltherin' FUCK about any a that, or your petty romance problems. I got a moirail to talk these sorts a things out with, and surprise surprise, she ain't you. HOW-FUCKIN'-EWER. Erisolsprite. Like, as in, Sollux an' me?

[A pause as he tries to digest this information.]

You better be fuckin' lyin' about that.

[So help him, he better be lying.]

Edited 2013-02-03 02:26 (UTC)

Ahhh, a moorail! I remember you would talk about those sort of woes with.. Feefairy? Feferi? And then you would say how you loved her completely on both halves and it was actually rather sad. I felt really bad for you.
But then you would come back with a fuck you and it would just get me laughing!

And, uhh, I think Sollux sort of rings a bell.
You had a lisp!

[Mortified. That's a good word for what he's feeling right now. And here he thought going back to his own death was bad, but nope. This by far trumps it.]

No... No, fuck you, fuck this. I don't want to hear any fuckin' more a this delusional claptrap! Shut your fuckin' mouth right fuckin' NOW!

[THIS HAS TO BE FAKE THIS CAN'T BE TRUE NO THIS IS A FATE WORSE THAN ANY DEATH!!!!!]

_{[ Jake looks a bit concerned, if not alarmed at first. ]}

_{[ Then he starts giggling. ]}

Oh gosh! I missed you so much.

WHY ARE YOU LAUGHIN'?

_{[ BURSTS INTO LAUGHTER. ]}

[HELLA RUDE!!!! He is just grinding his fangs in anger right now.]

Will you STOP? Are you completely fuckin' retarded or somethin'?!

[He lets out an aggravated sound--before he realizes something.]

Wait a fuckin' minute. How exactly did me an' Sol end up in a sprite?

[because... He should just be dead on the meteor....]

I don't know. Umm. Maybe I can remember if I think hard..

You BETTER fuckin' remember, or I'll come find you and make you remember.

How so?
I would like to remember a lot of things.

_{[ /facepalm. ]}

I'll beat the memory back into your filthy fuckin' think pan.

[THIS IS NOT THE FACE OF A TROLL JOKING AROUND, JAKE.]

_{[ Here is a weird reaction.
He gets starry eyed. ]}

You fisticuff!?

Fisti-what?

Fighting! Wrestling! You want to engage in that?
Good god, I've been aching for a fight for weeks!

[WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS HUMAN?????]

I--this... You're not supposed to enjoy it, you pan-stunted dirtscrapper! Just--TELL ME WHO IS RESPONSIBLE!

Edited 2013-02-03 03:26 (UTC)

If I tell you, may we wrassle for sport?

[He's just going to stare for a looooong while.]

... Fine, just fuckin' tell me.

Okay, okay.

Let me try to remember here.

Uhmmmm....

[THE FLATTEST LOOK. Jake you better remember or your BESTIE ain't doing shit for you.]

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