Guy Cecil ☼ [Gᴀɪʟᴀʀᴅɪᴀ•Gᴀʟᴀɴ•Gᴀʀᴅɪᴏs] (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
relinquishing) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
caughtinanetwork2013-04-02 12:09 am
relinquishing) wrote in caughtinanetwork2013-04-02 12:09 am
[action/anon text] - Struggles - 020 [Backdated to afternoon of 4/2]
Gnomeday, Gnome Redecan 02, ND 2018
[The first thing Guy noticed upon waking up was how unbelievably sore he was.
The second? The barrier on Zelda's bed was gone. He could easily tell - he'd sprawled out a bit as he started to wake up, mixed up in the covers and the remains of the uniform he had last remembered wearing. He hummed wearily, giving a confused and clouded glance around the room as he propped himself to his elbows.
Had he fallen into a coma again? Guy grimaces, rubbing a crick in the back of his neck. He'd left Zelda here alone like this again, of all times? Damn it. How long had he been out?
Worrying wasn't going to help matters, though. He heaves himself out of bed, stretching his arms above him, straightening his back, and adjusting his clothes enough so that he could wander the house without being too embarrassed coming across another housemate (if they were awake by now.) He pads across the floor with bare feet, descending the staircase about halfway before finally bother to call out.]
"...Zelda? Hey, are you around...?"
----
[It's only after he' had a good share of time to talk to Zelda and get his bearings that Guy finally picks up his SFC, opting to keep himself anonymous this time around. There was too much that had happened while he was gone. It would just be nice to get a general sense of the city, if anything else.]
Breaking the ice around strangers is pretty hard, isn't it? I know we all have to do it all the time around here, with everyone coming and going. But it doesn't make it any easier.
Some people take to it easier than others, though. And I'm sure some of you have learned ways to interact with a new person just by being in this crazy place.
So tell me, Vatheon. How would you treat a stranger?
[The first thing Guy noticed upon waking up was how unbelievably sore he was.
The second? The barrier on Zelda's bed was gone. He could easily tell - he'd sprawled out a bit as he started to wake up, mixed up in the covers and the remains of the uniform he had last remembered wearing. He hummed wearily, giving a confused and clouded glance around the room as he propped himself to his elbows.
Had he fallen into a coma again? Guy grimaces, rubbing a crick in the back of his neck. He'd left Zelda here alone like this again, of all times? Damn it. How long had he been out?
Worrying wasn't going to help matters, though. He heaves himself out of bed, stretching his arms above him, straightening his back, and adjusting his clothes enough so that he could wander the house without being too embarrassed coming across another housemate (if they were awake by now.) He pads across the floor with bare feet, descending the staircase about halfway before finally bother to call out.]
"...Zelda? Hey, are you around...?"
----
[It's only after he' had a good share of time to talk to Zelda and get his bearings that Guy finally picks up his SFC, opting to keep himself anonymous this time around. There was too much that had happened while he was gone. It would just be nice to get a general sense of the city, if anything else.]
Breaking the ice around strangers is pretty hard, isn't it? I know we all have to do it all the time around here, with everyone coming and going. But it doesn't make it any easier.
Some people take to it easier than others, though. And I'm sure some of you have learned ways to interact with a new person just by being in this crazy place.
So tell me, Vatheon. How would you treat a stranger?
2/2
Zelos.
His eyes light up at the initial mention of Zelos' name, but as Zelda continues, that light is snuffed out almost instantly. Guy stays very silent at first, glass gripped tight in his hand.]
...I'm guessing you've talked with him already.
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[Zelda pushes a hand through her hair wearily. If only that was the end of it. She looks at Guy, waiting for him to absorb the new information before continuing.]
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If it really is Zelos, then... he probably didn't take to all of that too well?
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[It had almost been eerie talking to him. Sometimes she forgot that he didn't remember, others the lack of his memory couldn't be more obvious. It just made things that much harder, and it made her feel as if she'd been manipulating him somewhat into acting as she thought he "should".]
I will find his memories. Being able to retain the memories of this place after returning home is a vital piece of the puzzle. Like everything else, it will simply take time.
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Yeah, it will. But even saying that, still.... don't rush things, okay? He still sees us as strangers, regardless of how much we might tell him. It's probably going to be just as hard on him to get adjusted to us as it is the other way around.
[His voice is still quiet and low compared to her own sense of resolution. It took a long time to get to know Zelos. Even with the idea that the memories may be back there somewhere... he can't set himself to the idea of salvaging for them like they're buried treasure. Wouldn't it just be better to get to know this Zelos at his own time...?]
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[Zelda takes a deep breath.]
I have not seen him for a few days, anyway. There were other things to deal with.
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[And because he's afraid to ask, he takes the pause to down half his glass, breathing out slowly. Two major things and yet it sounded like Zelda still had more to say.]
Mmm... Was there another curse while I was out?
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[In Zelda's opinion it began to resemble home. Other than her outrageous state of dress, that is.]
I thought that an event like that might stabilize the coral, but it still seems to be fluctuating. Thankfully, the Station Master has helped me to provide everyone with a tunic that will allow them to breathe underwater if things continue to decline.
[If only that was the end of it. She has no idea how to bring up Duke.]
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[He tips his glass back again, casting a glance back at her; the tense posture, the solemn yet glazed look in her eyes. There was something else on her mind.
He cocks his head to the side, leaning to rest his elbow against the couch arm and his head against his wrist.]
You sure that's all there's to it, though?
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[Zelda winces slightly, shaking her head.]
There was one other thing. The day after Zelos showed up again, Duke, he... hurt himself. Gravely. He would have died if I did not show up in time, and he only regained consciousness recently.
[It's far too close to the time last year when Sola leapt from a building in an attempt to get her attention. Duke's been avoiding her, and she knows that he has feelings for her. Even if he said his injuries were on accident, she saw him with a sword through his ribs. How could that be accidental?
She drains the whole cup of tea in gone go, staying silent after that.]
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There weren't many topics that made Guy Cecil upset. But suicide? That surely was one of them, and it shows in how quickly his posture and expression draw up with discomfort and anger.]
...Why the hell would...
[He doesn't finish his sentence, glass clanging firmly down onto the table with Guy's grimace set deep. Duke was already such a hard person to understand; distant, a little peculiar, and at time far too reliant on others for his own care. He never talked, so to understaand what he was thinking or feeling was close to impossible. So for something like this to happen...
Was it because of Zelos? Or something else?
He really doesn't want to try and understand. The fact that it happened at all has a cold fire burning in Guy's gut.
He pauses for a long time, letting out a couple deep breaths.]
...I'm glad he's alive. But I'd love to know why he decided that was such a smart idea.
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[Zelda manages to cut herself off, knowing that Guy will immediately tell her to not blame herself. She is to blame though, she knows it.]
He said it was an accident. An experiment that went badly. When I arrived his own sword was through his torso...
[How could it be an accident? He's so skilled. She knows exactly how skilled he is. He was probably trying to spare her.]
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[Sorry, Zelda, he's bypassing that BS of a story because he really doesn't want to talk about it. Besides, that little break he picked up on eerily fast. He leans forward, his glance searching.]
It's your... what? Your fault?
You think he did that because of you?
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...I do. It is the same as it was with Sola.
[Duke just took a long time to realize it. She's not stupid. If she'd never led him in to feeling that way, he wouldn't have done something so reckless - and she did lead him into it. She didn't have any obligations when she did, but now she does. She should have known he was just slow to acknowledge feelings of any sort, especially considering the breakdown he had over the mere idea of friendship between them. She made him dependent on her and then she made herself unavailable.]
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It takes him a long moment to recall the incident with the young Hylian's jump off a rooftop, and even that doesn't calm the frustration he feels. That hadn't been "her fault" either. From the very little he'd heard, Sola was simply lead to thinking one thing when another was the reality. Right?
So what the hell did this have to do with Duke? What had she told him, and why in the world did she think that it was reason enough for him to go and attempt to kill himself...?
He exhales slowly.]
Are you saying that because it's true, or because it's what you believe to be true?
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[She doesn't want him to have to feel that way. She's terrified of being responsible for something like that again, but because she's so afraid of it, because of the timing and everything else all piled together, she can't see any other possibilities. In the moment she doesn't even realize that she never fully told Guy exactly why Sola jumped until just now, she's too exhausted to try and keep secrets like that.]
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[There's a brief huff of annoyance - she was travelling in circles and there was no way in hell he was catching up. He's still back on it being an assumption, and she's already jumping ahead to things he doesn't even understand yet. Back up a second--]
You can't be there to watch out for a person all the time, Zelda. Regardless of who they are or how they feel about things. That's dependency, it's leeching, and it's kind of insane. I don't know why you think this is all on you, but you need to trust him. He has to be able to care for himself and call on other people besides you if he's really so upset - to put the burden soley on yu is selfish.
And besides... what the hell did he figure out? Feelings about what?
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[Her alarm goes off, indicating that it's time to tell Gamzee to take his sopor.]
...excuse me. Gamzee needs his medication.
[Zelda takes out her SFC, shooting him a quick text and refusing to meet Guy's eyes.]
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It's only when she's put the SFC down that he bothers to speak again.]
So you think - for some outlandish reason - that he hurt himself because you tried to be friends and now he... well, has feelings for you.
[He raises a brow. Is he even close at all?]
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He has trouble processing emotions. While I am not certain he hurt himself purposefully, I know that those emotions make him more reckless. I should have left him alone the first time he asked me to, but I kept pushing.
[She can feel something from him. She knows it seems like she's blaming herself for things that aren't her fault again, but this IS her fault!]
...don't look at me like that. I did this. I did not learn my lesson with Sola, but this time I will. I should not approach such vulnerable people.
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I don't think it's a matter of approaching them or not. If they need help, they need help, and you strive on helping other people. To just ignore them wouldn't help either of you.
Maybe it's just learning to respect and accept that other people just have boundaries they don't want crossed. And that, as hard as it can be... that some people don't always want help. For whatever reason.
[For Duke, that meant his requests to be left alone were because he might have been aware that being emotionally attached to someone wasn't something he could handle. Maybe Zelda just had been ignorant of that, intentionally or not.]
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[She's aware she's repeating herself, but what else is there to say? It's the truth. Duke's instability didn't come out of nowhere. She's pushed him out of his comfort zone more than once, and usually she was perfectly aware of what she was doing. It just seemed so sad for him to never forgive himself and live completely alone like he was. The way he'd been living life couldn't really be called living in her opinion. But that's just it, isn't it? That's only her opinion.]
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But you can't change that now. You know that.
[...]
And you shouldn't blame yourself so harshly for something that can't be changed.
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I think it is appropriate to acknowledge one's mistakes. If I don't put the proper weight on it, I will only repeat it.
[Oh, she knows Guy just doesn't want her to be upset, but this isn't like some of the other things she's let herself get worked up about. This time it really is her fault, and she can't let herself start to think otherwise or she knows she'll be sitting right here next year mourning someone else.]
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So he returns that frustrated look with one of calm neutrality, giving a curt nod.]
You're absolutely right.
But put too much weight on it, and all you'll do is cause a burden for yourself that keeps you from what's important. Like making things right again.
That's what you want to do, isn't it?
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