cakesaretheenemy: ([anansi] default)
John Egbert | ectoBiologist ([personal profile] cakesaretheenemy) wrote in [community profile] caughtinanetwork2012-02-06 08:58 pm

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[ When the feed begins, it shows John (Aunt Nancy Anansi) perched on a tree branch, legs crossed. His six, spider arms are idly juggling six, round objects -- apples, a crystal ball, etc. It was yours???? Well, it's John's now. What's holding his SFC? ....Webs. Well, okay then. ]

Hey guys! I am totally a gross spider now, haha. Anyway, does anyone here know why nothing grows in the winter? No?

Well, I do. Because I have aaaaaaaall the stories. All of them! I almost had all the wisdom too but, well, that is a story for another time.

Anyway, here I go.

Once upon a time, the Winter time used to be no different from Spring. Sure, snowflakes would still fall and the land would still be coated by miles of frost during this season, but the flowers and the trees still thrived and grew. Everybody still feasted during Winter, and all was well.

This was because Lady Harvest, dear Lady Harvest -- she's lovely you'll love her -- sang to the crops every night. She had such a magnificent voice that the plants would forget their chill and sleep under her guidance.

Now, as kind and benevolent as Lady Harvest was, she still made all creatures, human and animal, promise that they would only harvest enough to satisfy their hunger; she was, after all, just one deity and she couldn't possibly keep up with the demands of the whole world everyday if they were going to be greedy!

Everybody promised.

But some lied through their teeth.

One of the liars, surprise surprise, was me. Hey, she had a lot of delicious potatoes, could you blame me?

I did not want Lady Harvest to think ill of me though, so I devised a cunning plan!

During the late afternoon, before Lady Harvest sang and after everybody reclined back to their houses, I approached Brother Tiger. Brother Tiger and I have never been in the best terms, but the good favors I did him outweighed the malicious ones, so he did not pounce me. He asked me, "John, what is it that you want now?"

"I'm hurt, Brother Tiger. Why do you always assume I'm up to something?" I crawl up next to Brother Tiger and I ask him, "So why do you, proud king of the jungle, have the same rights as a common spider like me? Everyday during Winter, when I take one potato, you also take one potato! Excuse me, but shouldn't you be taking ten potatoes?"

Brother Tiger, with his mind clouded in fury that he even forgot his dislike of potatoes, ran to where Lady Harvest was singing. He roared and he roared at her that Lady Harvest was so shocked, she stopped singing to the crops. While the plants shivered and cried, I made myself a net from my spider webs and hurried them away. When Lady Harvest turned around, there were no more crops to sing to!

During these moments, Lady Harvest began to doubt herself. She wondered if she weren't strong enough for the plants, and since she had neither friends nor family, nobody was there to invalidate her insecurities -- so she ran away to the kingdom of God, never to be seen again.

That night, I feasted with my friends until we couldn't take another more bite. But there was TOO much food that we couldn't possibly eat them all, a world's worth of food, so they rotted away. From those days onward, Lady  Harvest never returned, so all the plants shivered and died.

And now you know why nothing grows in Winter anymore!

knightime: Art by mirrorshards (jegus egbert)

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[personal profile] knightime 2012-02-12 12:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[Dave sees what you're trying to do John. He shields his face a bit with one of his wings. Gonna be a little sneakier then that.

Damn, Dave sure fucking loves apples though.]
knightime: Art by zerostop (da fuq is dat shit)

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[personal profile] knightime 2012-02-12 12:41 pm (UTC)(link)
You're probably the only one.

[He peeks a glance at John, looking pretty suspicious about the other and what motives he might have for saying that.] They aren't exactly the normal issued eyeballs.
knightime: Art by seki22 (sharp white)

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[personal profile] knightime 2012-02-12 12:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I only got so many feet to hold shit with. I'd ask you to spare a hand, but we've beaten that joke over the head way too many times already.

The apple was good enough, thanks.
knightime: Artist Unknown (cool in red)

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[personal profile] knightime 2012-02-12 12:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[Dave responds by ruffling them a bit. He doesn't bother to stop the other though. No reason why. Besides. Apparently petting is a thing he didn't think he'd want, but here he is being part bird and finding it surprisingly satisfying.]
knightime: Art by Tara (oh shit motherfucker)

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[personal profile] knightime 2012-02-12 01:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[He lets out a fairly content sound at that.

Oh crap. That was kind of embarrassing.]
knightime: Art by feastings (fat and sassy)

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[personal profile] knightime 2012-02-12 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[Woah, casanova. Suddenly stealing cheek kisses.

Dave: try to recover from making embarrassing sounds.] Think you just stole my cheek's virginity. Only disgusting gross smuppet kisses have ever touched those cheeks. I can hear the crowd of girls cry in realization they don't get to be my first kiss.
knightime: Art by Xamag (hoah shit)

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[personal profile] knightime 2012-02-12 02:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[Dave seems legitimately startled this time. He thought it was just John being stupid and messing with him.

He hadn't actually considered the other being serious about it. And honestly. He wasn't sure how to react. There was a lot wrong with this. A lot of curiosity (which was winning out).] Don't you got a girlfriend? [His voice might have cracked just slightly.]
knightime: Artist unknown (ironically flattered)

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[personal profile] knightime 2012-02-12 02:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Is that a legitimate excuse to have sloppy makeouts with your best bro? I mean. Thought you weren't interested in dudes.
knightime: Art by nuclearcarrots (if i fell in love with you)

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[personal profile] knightime 2012-02-12 03:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I can tell you now, pretty sure neither of us are girls.

[That? That is the sound of Dave's breath getting caught in his throat and a faint flush starting to appear on his features.]

'M not makin' it complicated. Just gotta make sure. Remember?
knightime: Art by hamletmachine (So if by the time the bar closes)

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[personal profile] knightime 2012-02-12 03:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Well ain't you a cute lil' liberal.

[Oh no. Fuck you John. There's no way he's going to let that comment slide.

They aren't quite hands, but have soft feathers brush against your cheeks to keep your face still. He's a little clumsy with the kiss, but hey. They're in a tree, and he's not used to this. At all.]
knightime: Art by starrypier (I'll carry you home tonight)

[Action] Always need Hammertime icons. Always.

[personal profile] knightime 2012-02-12 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[He has to shift his weight slightly to accommodate the slight change. It would be pretty dumb if they ended this kiss because one of them almost fell out of the tree.

Pretty sure Strider's brain went into standby for awhile. He doesn't even hesitate to kiss back or be bothered that John was deepening the kiss. Hell. His conscious can scream at him later.]
knightime: Artist Unknown (and you feel like falling down)

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[personal profile] knightime 2012-02-12 04:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[Things sure are going to be awkward when this stuff passes. It'll probably just end with Dave refusing to ever talk about it and act like it wasn't a thing that happened.

Dave was too busy being curious about the taste of John's mouth and his acute awareness of where all John's arms are resting.]

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