caughtinanetwork | 1st record

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alright so just kind of chilling here on the beach instead of some underwater city this info guide talks about
and you know thatd be kind of cool if it werent for one major issue
what the fuck just happened
seriously i think i just got whiplash from trying to figure out where that five minutes went so wrong
i mean the first time i got teleported randomly at least it wasnt just me
landed right on my ass confused as hell but i wasnt the only one
its easier to sit there and look like a tool when youre in a group trying to figure out what the hells going on
its lame to lay on a beach alone looking like a tool getting wet sand in places sand doesnt need to be

read over the whole welcome thing so ok cool i get it
stranger shit has happened i guess so why the fuck not
moving on to try and be somewhat productive here
sup names dave
tell me theres someone that knows me here cause itll make this shit a lot easier
or worse
idk i guess well see
like id say something is better than nothing but i can think of a lot of cases where that wouldnt really be true
so for better or worse i guess
isnt there like a saying or something that knowings half the battle
does that apply to this situation?
well it does now because i say so

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that unbreakable thing would have been good information before i went and did an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle
i guess i thought if i broke it without pulling it out at least there wouldnt be any more blood spilled
no idea what was up with cal either man maybe he was just hanging with some bad influences

[Or maybe the puppet was fucking evil and not to be trusted and all of Dave's fears and paranoia about him were completely justified. But he's not gonna say that to Bro.]

what. the blades still gonna be stuck in my chest. just broken. that doesnt change shit.

[Wow, why is he even arguing this matter? That is so not the right thing to do right now.]

i mean. whats done is done. the lesson to be learned here is that you cant put too much fucking thought into stuff like that.

yeah considering who took cal in the first place. id call that a bad influence. fucking jack noir.

if you happen to see the homicidal troll in question shoot me a warning. gotta make sure to keep cal far away from him just in case. dont want trolls getting launched into a hysterical rampage at the sight of my lil puppet pal.

[Yes, guess who came to Vatheon with Bro? Guess who's hanging over his shoulder as he types this? Cal's staring down at the SFC with his dead eyes right this very second.]

[Keep him away from-Oh god dammit. Why can't that thing just stay lost? He guesses it's not all bad, it's good for bro at least so he has some company. But still. Dave's going to have to remember to watch his back.]

if i had just pulled out the sword i would have gotten blood on me

[Yeah, subject change. He can't think of he didn't want to touch the body when said body was his bro right here talking to him.]

the trolls kind of hard to miss
basically a teenage alien juggalo that types in purple and reeks of crazy
hes here from what i heard

[What, no, you don't get blood on you when you do it right and pull it out in a good clean vertical- okay no. He needs to stop thinking about this now. Much as he wants to be right and for his bro to not be a pussy about things like this, it's getting disturbing.]

purple juggalo troll. gotcha.

saw a few troll douches type in purple. pretty sure they werent juggalos so thats only two outta three.

[He's thinking of the Amporas, actually.]

[Dave's done with that part of the conversation. It was easier to talk about with Terezi back when he was right there. There's a reason he hasn't spoken of it since.]

theres two kinds of purple for trolls
theres the seadouche purple and then theres the bugfuck crazy purple
you gotta be careful which is which with these things

right. sure.

wouldnt want to mix m up by accident. boy would my face be red.

so i know you said to meet you by the elevator later
but where are you staying now with the city flooded

[It feels so weird to try and ask if he can stay with him. He shouldn't have to ask, he knows he shouldn't have to ask. But after three years it feels just as weird not to ask no matter how stupid and lame he feels for it. Because what if Bro's got other things now? What if he's actually got his own life in this place that he doesn't need some awkward teen butting in on?]

[Don't worry, Dave. Bro's already got one awkward teen around in his living space. Or, well, he used to. Shit's been hitting the fan all around with Davesprite these past few weeks. From awkward curses to the sprite getting sent home, to the city flooding, to magical comas.

Point is, he's cool with another bro around. He's just wondering if maybe Dave'd rather stay with his pals.]

everywhere and nowhere. dont really have a set place here on the island.

im staying with your sprite down in the bubble but i dunno if well ever get that place fixed. i sure as hell hope so. just moved the most cushy futon ever into the bedroom. that shits comfy as hell.

[Dave's been living with other teens for three years, he kind of just really wants to go back to staying with his bro like before all this shit hit the fan.]

got room for one more

[Bro's still a little surprised at this because, yeah, there sure is a possibility it'll be awkward to live with the guy you found impaled on his own sword. Granted, that didn't stop Davesprite either. Like person like sprite.

Either way, it's a relief. Attempting to cope with this shit is much better than avoiding it, especially when said shit is your older brother. Or, you know, father. That's another one of those things Bro fears may actually come up some day, because he doubts Dave's ignorant to the ectobiology shenanigans.]

yeah. provided the place doesnt get washed away.

guess we could always get a treehouse on the island instead. the sprite bro would love that shit. kids got some weirdass bird habits.

[Considering Dave's got no problems tossing around the phrase teen mom and fully accepting that Rose's mom is technically his mom, he knows damned well but he's never going to even bother with the whole technically dad thing. Bro's just his most ironic coolest big bro ever, that's all there is to that.

He's glad the question didn't make things awkward, not that he thought anything could make it more awkward than it already was, but still.]

sounds like either way itd be cool
i mean itd suck if your place got trashed with a brand new futon and everything but shit happens
if we gotta get a badass treehouse then thats what we can do

seems to me that words like cool and badass are goddamn redundant in the sense that the placell be ours.

anything instantly becomes cool and badass when theres striders involved. its a universal law. couldnt help it if we wanted to.

[Yup. See. Now they're making progress. Now they're taking the elephant out back to shoot and bury it, pretending everything is cool. The conversation feels a whole lot more pleasant now.]

[Bro gets to bury the elephant because like fuck Dave's gonna bother with that fatass. He'd rather just throw it off a cliff and be done with it.]

speaking of so much badass in one place
apparently roxys gonna throw us all in a pile to lie on and be queen of the strider hill
asked her what she thought her credentials for claiming that title were and she said because shes roxy fucking lalonde and what was i gonna do about it
couldnt argue with her on that

those sound like pretty fucking flawless credentials yeah. dunno how to combat that one.

guess wed better prepare ourselves for some major pileage.

yeah seems like we dont got a choice
man sprite bros wings are going to be a bitch to deal with
does that mean he gets to go on the top of the pile to be the feathery down pillow
cause thats so not fair

only the best for her majesty lalonde. theres no pillow like strider pillow.

but you can both be on top. well make it work. me and mini me can hold you guys up.

sounds like a plan to me
seriously though mini me
never gonna be able to unsee that now
why would you fill my head with god awful mike myers quotes

did you really think i wouldnt?

maybe me and him should put on a little show. its a hard knock life. complete with the outfits.

speaking of which i started a flashmob on april fools. it was amazing. caramelldansen in the square for everyone to see.

[Yes, clearly Bro's spent his time very productively here.]

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